Sigh of relief--the year is over and calmness should be restored to school and my household. No more waking the boys up each morning and waking them up again...and again..GET UP!!!!!!!!!! (in my best mother screech!) No more...for a few months anyway. I have two more weeks.
Jim is off helping a little league team in Edwardsburg. He is so good with little kids. He took Andrew and his buddies with him to help. It looks like it may storm so I expect them home soon. Jim wants to go out to eat for dinner...the Cubs are on TV and we don't get the game so that is why. : ) Joshie is announcing at a different little league game.
Just did my monthly googling of ACC...no new documents or research. Didn't learn anything new. My mom is back on chemo--just half the dosage--she is back eating and her hands are not peeling anymore.
I think both boys did well grade wise..unfortunately, Josh ended up with his first A-....no more perfect gpa. Andrew's gpa should actually go up, but when he said "I know I got three right" on his calculus test I'm not so sure....there were 50 questions. Ugh. I am hoping next year's math will go better. Even though he hovered in the B range most of the year, he claims he has no idea what he was doing all year. Next year's teacher is very diligent on "understanding" so I think it will be better. Andrew used the "I don't get it so why try?" crutch too often.
I am watching Friends right now and that show just makes me laugh. Especially Ross.
I've babbled on long enough about nothing. I know I need a haircut so if you see me, just know that I know it. : )
Love to you all-
Moi
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Crying in Mudville.
Wow. Long time.
Tonight, there is no joy in Mudville. Vikes lost to Lakeshore in the district game, in extra innings. I am just weepy for the seniors. Andrew has another year left but it still is hurting him to see his friends sad. The Lakeshore coach is one of Andrew's summer coaches and a great guy...I am just glad it was a good game and we did well for the most part. But damn I wanted to beat them!!!
My surgery on pizza pocket is in July. They slice it off. Ugh. My nipple is built from skin that is on my breast area--not Pizza Pocket fat. How is that for a visual?
Graduation was wonderful. Stressful, but wonderful. Two more days that I have to get the kids up. I am finished June 12 and really need a good summer vacation since last year pretty much sucked.
Shade ran away last week and ended up in the pokey--yup, the mean old dog catcher got 'er. She was missing all day and when I finally found out, I said 'maybe she's at the pound?" and sure enough, she was. They were about to close so she had to spend the night. Of course, last night I wanted to send her back because she was all nutso over the storm. I died laughing at Jim trying to get her under the bed. Our bedroom has a wooden floor so it is very slippery so Jim would slide her under, she would crawl out, he would slide her back, she would crawl out, he would slide her back. Our floor no longer needs to be dusted.
Doesn't the weather stink? I truly think I suffer from SAD, but only when it is supposed to be summer-like. I am fine with snowstorms, but this cold weather makes me depressed. I just want sunny skies, a pool, a good book, and a large iced tea with lemon.
Thanks for checking in. I still need each and everyone one of you.
Mollyfofollyfeefifofolly
Tonight, there is no joy in Mudville. Vikes lost to Lakeshore in the district game, in extra innings. I am just weepy for the seniors. Andrew has another year left but it still is hurting him to see his friends sad. The Lakeshore coach is one of Andrew's summer coaches and a great guy...I am just glad it was a good game and we did well for the most part. But damn I wanted to beat them!!!
My surgery on pizza pocket is in July. They slice it off. Ugh. My nipple is built from skin that is on my breast area--not Pizza Pocket fat. How is that for a visual?
Graduation was wonderful. Stressful, but wonderful. Two more days that I have to get the kids up. I am finished June 12 and really need a good summer vacation since last year pretty much sucked.
Shade ran away last week and ended up in the pokey--yup, the mean old dog catcher got 'er. She was missing all day and when I finally found out, I said 'maybe she's at the pound?" and sure enough, she was. They were about to close so she had to spend the night. Of course, last night I wanted to send her back because she was all nutso over the storm. I died laughing at Jim trying to get her under the bed. Our bedroom has a wooden floor so it is very slippery so Jim would slide her under, she would crawl out, he would slide her back, she would crawl out, he would slide her back. Our floor no longer needs to be dusted.
Doesn't the weather stink? I truly think I suffer from SAD, but only when it is supposed to be summer-like. I am fine with snowstorms, but this cold weather makes me depressed. I just want sunny skies, a pool, a good book, and a large iced tea with lemon.
Thanks for checking in. I still need each and everyone one of you.
Mollyfofollyfeefifofolly
Monday, May 19, 2008
Summer surgery
Short and quick.
Saw Dr. Messinger and he assures me losing Pizza Pocket is an office procedure that just requires a local anesthetic. And, get this, he will sew me up a new nipple using my current skin right there on the table! He drew on me...I will have two more scars, but I am so mutilated now, who cares I guess. I had the surgery scheduled for July 25 but they called back to re-schedule, which I can't remember to do. Nevertheless, surgery will be this summer.
Honor's Reception is done...Baccalaureate is Wednesday, Graduation Thursday. Exams for underclassmen start Friday...and then four more days! How fast of a year it has been.
I have been overwhelmed with things at work, unexpected things that don't allow me to do my regular job. But we are getting there. I get to work at 7:00 and today was the earliest I have left in weeks. We do have a board meeting tonight so work really isn't done yet for the day. Life is still good.
I went to see my mom this weekend and she is now wearing a wig and looks much better than the last time I saw her. Her wig is sort of a sandy brown...a wierd switch for her--all of us have pretty dark hair, with mine being the lightest. Her fingers looked horrible...red and peeling, but healing better than before. She is dreading her next chemo and has mentioned a few times "people who have just stopped it." I don't think she wants to do it, but not eating and having painful fingers and feet has to be miserable. She has lost 23 pounds. She's a much smaller person than I am--only about 5'6" and much littler all around. She still has her booty (a family trait) and the docs don't want her losing any more weight. She's still tough but manage to go to Panera with us and ate some chicken broth. She manages to get down about 700 calories a day, mainly Ensure. Sister Sue and my daddy take good care of her.
TTFN. Cancer sits but doesn't influence.
Molly
Saw Dr. Messinger and he assures me losing Pizza Pocket is an office procedure that just requires a local anesthetic. And, get this, he will sew me up a new nipple using my current skin right there on the table! He drew on me...I will have two more scars, but I am so mutilated now, who cares I guess. I had the surgery scheduled for July 25 but they called back to re-schedule, which I can't remember to do. Nevertheless, surgery will be this summer.
Honor's Reception is done...Baccalaureate is Wednesday, Graduation Thursday. Exams for underclassmen start Friday...and then four more days! How fast of a year it has been.
I have been overwhelmed with things at work, unexpected things that don't allow me to do my regular job. But we are getting there. I get to work at 7:00 and today was the earliest I have left in weeks. We do have a board meeting tonight so work really isn't done yet for the day. Life is still good.
I went to see my mom this weekend and she is now wearing a wig and looks much better than the last time I saw her. Her wig is sort of a sandy brown...a wierd switch for her--all of us have pretty dark hair, with mine being the lightest. Her fingers looked horrible...red and peeling, but healing better than before. She is dreading her next chemo and has mentioned a few times "people who have just stopped it." I don't think she wants to do it, but not eating and having painful fingers and feet has to be miserable. She has lost 23 pounds. She's a much smaller person than I am--only about 5'6" and much littler all around. She still has her booty (a family trait) and the docs don't want her losing any more weight. She's still tough but manage to go to Panera with us and ate some chicken broth. She manages to get down about 700 calories a day, mainly Ensure. Sister Sue and my daddy take good care of her.
TTFN. Cancer sits but doesn't influence.
Molly
Monday, May 12, 2008
Pizza and Thyroid
Pizza Pocket lives on in case you had forgotten. Tuesday I am heading back to Kalamazoo to see Woody to decide if we want to slice Pizza Pocket off or not. A BC sister on the Internet told me it was an out patient procedure but she came home with 2 drains and an incision that went nearly to her back shoulder blade. UGH........that makes me want to say NO. But I will see what dear Woody says. He hasn't done anything too painful to me so I will trust his opinion. By the way, Miss Boobie is doing ok--my incision still itches and there is a rough spot that I itch too much so I have a really red area. But all in all, she's doing her thing, hanging around like a good boobie does.
I also met with Dr. T this week to go over additional bloodwork. All is fine there. He does want me to see a colon doctor (that is easier to spell than gastroendommmmmmblahblahblah) just to see what I should do about early screening. So I do that June 5th. I do not know the results of my thyroid test. I am hoping they say "WOW! No wonder you are fat!!!" and tell me my thyroid is really out of whack...it is out of whack, but I think the meds are working just fine, unfortunately. : )
Seniors are almost done. Andrew will be lost without his senior buddies. I used to make fun of my friends who are all weepy about their senior kids but I am right there with them now, thinking about senior pictures, graduation, etc. I do think this summer we need Andrew to really commit to where he wants to visit. He has no interest in going out of state as of now.
TTFN. Jim made wonderful steaks. It's 9:12 and I am about to eat half a cow.
"WOW! No wonder I'm fat."
Hugs,
Molly
I also met with Dr. T this week to go over additional bloodwork. All is fine there. He does want me to see a colon doctor (that is easier to spell than gastroendommmmmmblahblahblah) just to see what I should do about early screening. So I do that June 5th. I do not know the results of my thyroid test. I am hoping they say "WOW! No wonder you are fat!!!" and tell me my thyroid is really out of whack...it is out of whack, but I think the meds are working just fine, unfortunately. : )
Seniors are almost done. Andrew will be lost without his senior buddies. I used to make fun of my friends who are all weepy about their senior kids but I am right there with them now, thinking about senior pictures, graduation, etc. I do think this summer we need Andrew to really commit to where he wants to visit. He has no interest in going out of state as of now.
TTFN. Jim made wonderful steaks. It's 9:12 and I am about to eat half a cow.
"WOW! No wonder I'm fat."
Hugs,
Molly
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Fist fights in the office
I'm sure no one is reading anymore--don't blame ya one bit. I honestly haven't had time to even think about blogging, but here I am, saying hello: HELLO
Nothing really exciting or new right now. My mom has hit the chemo wall as they say, and now has every crappy side effect she could have. Her lips are so cracked and peeling--she can hardly eat--and the nausea has started. Her hands are a mess too--cracked and splitting, along with a little neuropathy (tingling). They've totally taken her off one drug, and are lowering the dosage of the other. She has lost 20 pounds and is sustaining her current weight with Ensure.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I am feeling very guilty about not going to see her, but Jim got Cubs' tickets and we really need to spend time together as a family. With his helping with baseball, and my schedule, we are seeing more of each other driving by than at home. Andrew's team lost again today, so Jim is in a funk...Josh's team hardly ever wins so no funk going on there! Jim feels bad for missing Josh's games, and Josh LOVES to make him feel guilty...Andrew is bumming because he isn't playing at all defensively (but is the DH) so people are just a bit grouchy around here! We are going to have DQ tonight so at least I will be happy. : )
Let's see. I lost my debit card. PANIC city for me. I think I left it in one of the machines that keeps it...my bank's machine is just a swiper so when I went to the keeper one, I just drove off. I have already ordered another one, but since Jim and I never have cash I thought I would starve or something. : ) We got gas last night in Coldwater, MI and the pump stopped at $100 for the Yukon. Then I got gas today in my tiny Malibu and it was $50. Arggggghhhhhhh.
The seniors are done on Wednesday. Amazing. This year has to be the fastest year ever. 'course I spent much of it at doctor's appointments.
Yesterday, our Student Council sponsored a Pancake Breakfast for Relay for Life. They made $500. The kids loved it--missing seminar to eat! While this was going on, my two polite young children were in my office asking for money and actually got in a fist fight while I was getting it for them. I bet that has not happened in too many principals' offices anywhere in the world. What was worse was I was on the phone with a parent--luckily, she is a friend of mine and laughed it off but I about suspended both of them. I called Jim at work and told him I should get extra duty mother pay for having to be with them 24-7. He at least gets to go to work to avoid them for a few hours. : )
MMMMM. Time to run. Cancer is about 5th on the "topics on my brain" list.
That's a good thing.
Molly
Mother and Dog Owner of the Year
Nothing really exciting or new right now. My mom has hit the chemo wall as they say, and now has every crappy side effect she could have. Her lips are so cracked and peeling--she can hardly eat--and the nausea has started. Her hands are a mess too--cracked and splitting, along with a little neuropathy (tingling). They've totally taken her off one drug, and are lowering the dosage of the other. She has lost 20 pounds and is sustaining her current weight with Ensure.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I am feeling very guilty about not going to see her, but Jim got Cubs' tickets and we really need to spend time together as a family. With his helping with baseball, and my schedule, we are seeing more of each other driving by than at home. Andrew's team lost again today, so Jim is in a funk...Josh's team hardly ever wins so no funk going on there! Jim feels bad for missing Josh's games, and Josh LOVES to make him feel guilty...Andrew is bumming because he isn't playing at all defensively (but is the DH) so people are just a bit grouchy around here! We are going to have DQ tonight so at least I will be happy. : )
Let's see. I lost my debit card. PANIC city for me. I think I left it in one of the machines that keeps it...my bank's machine is just a swiper so when I went to the keeper one, I just drove off. I have already ordered another one, but since Jim and I never have cash I thought I would starve or something. : ) We got gas last night in Coldwater, MI and the pump stopped at $100 for the Yukon. Then I got gas today in my tiny Malibu and it was $50. Arggggghhhhhhh.
The seniors are done on Wednesday. Amazing. This year has to be the fastest year ever. 'course I spent much of it at doctor's appointments.
Yesterday, our Student Council sponsored a Pancake Breakfast for Relay for Life. They made $500. The kids loved it--missing seminar to eat! While this was going on, my two polite young children were in my office asking for money and actually got in a fist fight while I was getting it for them. I bet that has not happened in too many principals' offices anywhere in the world. What was worse was I was on the phone with a parent--luckily, she is a friend of mine and laughed it off but I about suspended both of them. I called Jim at work and told him I should get extra duty mother pay for having to be with them 24-7. He at least gets to go to work to avoid them for a few hours. : )
MMMMM. Time to run. Cancer is about 5th on the "topics on my brain" list.
That's a good thing.
Molly
Mother and Dog Owner of the Year
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Long hours.
Hi all--I am a neglectful blogger. So busy this week--worked 11-12 hour days last week on a new scheduling program. The trainer was here from Colorado so I needed to make the most of having her here. The middle school also had training but their schedule is so much simpler than the high school's so luckily they didn't need the trainer as much as I did. The program is actually very user friendly but doesn't solve the problem schedule that we offer. No one cares now but when Joe Schmoe can't get Calculus because he has AP Biology--well, it makes parents mad. But, truth be told, figuring out the schedule is like solving a complicated puzzle and can be fun and challenging. (I know you are thinking well, don't offer AP Biology the same time as Calculus, but when I move AP Bio it conflicts with Band...see the problem?)
This week we will be starting teacher interviews...we are looking for a math/science teacher combo. Any future teachers out there? Math and science is where to head...
Not much else to report. Jim took Dan Holland and Andrew to the Notre Dame baseball game. Josh and I are hanging out. I paid bills today and was able to actually pay some EARLY. Jim will be proud. : )
Just in case you were concerned about my relationship with my dog based on the our latest round of storms...I finally convinced her to get under the bed. Jim had to deal with her for awhile--talk about no patience!!!!...but once Jim falls asleep, he is out...so I was left with her trying to crawl inside me with the ol' paw scratching the heck out of my face and her hot, stinky breath all over me. So I went to the window and stood there and lo and behold, Shade followed me, couldn't stand the noise, so she got under the bed. I think she stayed there the rest of the night.
On a good note, I have removed myself from the Breast Cancer listserv email group that I joined right after DX. I couldn't keep up with the number of emails. Why is this good? Because I am not so focused on cancer. Have had some wierd dreams about my mom, though. She is doing ok, but her skin is troublesome right now from a certain drug. So they have stopped it for the time being. I need to go see her soon. They are still very busy with their retirement activities so that is good.
Life seems normal.
Molly
This week we will be starting teacher interviews...we are looking for a math/science teacher combo. Any future teachers out there? Math and science is where to head...
Not much else to report. Jim took Dan Holland and Andrew to the Notre Dame baseball game. Josh and I are hanging out. I paid bills today and was able to actually pay some EARLY. Jim will be proud. : )
Just in case you were concerned about my relationship with my dog based on the our latest round of storms...I finally convinced her to get under the bed. Jim had to deal with her for awhile--talk about no patience!!!!...but once Jim falls asleep, he is out...so I was left with her trying to crawl inside me with the ol' paw scratching the heck out of my face and her hot, stinky breath all over me. So I went to the window and stood there and lo and behold, Shade followed me, couldn't stand the noise, so she got under the bed. I think she stayed there the rest of the night.
On a good note, I have removed myself from the Breast Cancer listserv email group that I joined right after DX. I couldn't keep up with the number of emails. Why is this good? Because I am not so focused on cancer. Have had some wierd dreams about my mom, though. She is doing ok, but her skin is troublesome right now from a certain drug. So they have stopped it for the time being. I need to go see her soon. They are still very busy with their retirement activities so that is good.
Life seems normal.
Molly
Friday, April 18, 2008
Earthquakes and Prom 2008
Just real quick--it is midnite--I am waiting for Andrew to get home from his prom...he is spending the night with his baseball team at the coach's house and he needs directions. You would think with the coach being his uncle (well, actually his cousin but the age thing confuses all the kids) he would know how to get there. He's been there numerous times but is directionally challenge.
Andrew is definitely a Brawley. Would much rather have been in a baseball uniform and when he got to prom he asked if it would be ok if Kait drove my car home. He HATES to drive. Poor Kait, she does not know how typical this is for a Brawley...well, at least my husband!
All the kids were gorgeous, the colors vibrant and amazing. So many different types of dresses...tuxes were pretty standard. I went to dinner with my pals Betty and Robert. When Andrew said he wouldn't dance until I left, that was my cue. I think I drive him nuts but the feeling is mutual.
On a different note, the earthquake this morning was felt by my husband who was just leaving for work. He called me after he got to work when he heard it was an earthquake. GET THIS--when he felt the quake he thought it must have been me, JUMPING ON OUR BED!!!! How many 45 year olds do you know who jump on their bed at 5:40 in the morning?????
Silly Nimmy.
Love to you all--
Molly
Andrew is definitely a Brawley. Would much rather have been in a baseball uniform and when he got to prom he asked if it would be ok if Kait drove my car home. He HATES to drive. Poor Kait, she does not know how typical this is for a Brawley...well, at least my husband!
All the kids were gorgeous, the colors vibrant and amazing. So many different types of dresses...tuxes were pretty standard. I went to dinner with my pals Betty and Robert. When Andrew said he wouldn't dance until I left, that was my cue. I think I drive him nuts but the feeling is mutual.
On a different note, the earthquake this morning was felt by my husband who was just leaving for work. He called me after he got to work when he heard it was an earthquake. GET THIS--when he felt the quake he thought it must have been me, JUMPING ON OUR BED!!!! How many 45 year olds do you know who jump on their bed at 5:40 in the morning?????
Silly Nimmy.
Love to you all--
Molly
Sunday, April 13, 2008
A shady relationship is hitting the rocks!
My dog and I are experiencing some relationship issues. She is driving me insane. First of all, we had to drug her earlier this week because of storms. You know how I used to feel bad about that? Well, I am about ready to do it ALL THE TIME. (not really, you PETA fans out there!) The real issue is at night--she gets me up every two hours. What she does is she hits our closet doorknob with her nose and then sits and looks in this antique full length mirror. She can see me in bed that way--she won't come on the bed--but just sits and whines as she looks in the mirror. If I don't get up, she keeps hitting the doorknob with her snout.
This morning she was sound asleep when Jim got up to go hit with Andrew. I told him to take her out and give her a treat, so she would leave me alone. She refused to budge. Jim leaves about 20 minutes later and lo and behold, Shade is nudging that damn doorknob. I am a poster parent for HOW TO LET YOUR DOG CONTROL YOU.
Ok, if I am honest, the reason she is doing this is because we are not home until 7-8 at night and she is bored out of her skull. But dang, I am losing sleep like a newborn's mother. I am sure she sleeps all day when we are gone, and with baseball, we just aren't home. This coming week will be just as bad--we have something every night except Monday. So that is my sad tale about the dog I love so much.
Speaking of baseball, the Varsity Vikes are doing pretty well--I think we are 4-1. Andrew watches the weather report every day like its his job--he loves the game so much and can't stand when anything is cancelled. Thank goodness we had nothing scheduled this weekend. Josh is quite disappointed--his team has only been able to practice on a baseball field three times and any scheduled game he has had has been cancelled. He is convinced they will "stink" so I hope they can get a game or at least some solid practrices under their belts SOON.
The weather looks like it might be better for next week--Prom day looks rainy but that is a week off as it is. I have to call my dear friend Betty to see if she is still my date. We have been prom dates for at least 7 years in a row. I won't let her off the hook yet. ; )
It is snowing right now. My lovely black lab is sound asleep on the big comfy couch--Josh is still in bed. Jim and Andrew are the worker bees--they've been gone to Dowagiac to hit since 8:00 this morning. I am still in my jammies but did start some laundry. Dinner today at John and Ginger's at 12:30. I wonder what we are having? I bet a fish fry since they had some left over fish from the Brian Parker Foundation fish fry. They made over $2000 but since they had to bread the fish early to be ready, there was some left over. Fried blue gill are great, but I am just not in the mood. I love Ginger's soups so maybe she will have a big pot of her famous Potato Soup in addition to the fish.
Much to do today. Yesterday was a big comfy couch day, reading and watching the Masters. I love to do that. I told Jim the course at the Masters would be a wonderful campground. He looked at me like I said something against God himself and that I was headed straight to hell.
Much love to you all.
Molly Elizabeth Brawley, Dog Owner Extraordinaire
This morning she was sound asleep when Jim got up to go hit with Andrew. I told him to take her out and give her a treat, so she would leave me alone. She refused to budge. Jim leaves about 20 minutes later and lo and behold, Shade is nudging that damn doorknob. I am a poster parent for HOW TO LET YOUR DOG CONTROL YOU.
Ok, if I am honest, the reason she is doing this is because we are not home until 7-8 at night and she is bored out of her skull. But dang, I am losing sleep like a newborn's mother. I am sure she sleeps all day when we are gone, and with baseball, we just aren't home. This coming week will be just as bad--we have something every night except Monday. So that is my sad tale about the dog I love so much.
Speaking of baseball, the Varsity Vikes are doing pretty well--I think we are 4-1. Andrew watches the weather report every day like its his job--he loves the game so much and can't stand when anything is cancelled. Thank goodness we had nothing scheduled this weekend. Josh is quite disappointed--his team has only been able to practice on a baseball field three times and any scheduled game he has had has been cancelled. He is convinced they will "stink" so I hope they can get a game or at least some solid practrices under their belts SOON.
The weather looks like it might be better for next week--Prom day looks rainy but that is a week off as it is. I have to call my dear friend Betty to see if she is still my date. We have been prom dates for at least 7 years in a row. I won't let her off the hook yet. ; )
It is snowing right now. My lovely black lab is sound asleep on the big comfy couch--Josh is still in bed. Jim and Andrew are the worker bees--they've been gone to Dowagiac to hit since 8:00 this morning. I am still in my jammies but did start some laundry. Dinner today at John and Ginger's at 12:30. I wonder what we are having? I bet a fish fry since they had some left over fish from the Brian Parker Foundation fish fry. They made over $2000 but since they had to bread the fish early to be ready, there was some left over. Fried blue gill are great, but I am just not in the mood. I love Ginger's soups so maybe she will have a big pot of her famous Potato Soup in addition to the fish.
Much to do today. Yesterday was a big comfy couch day, reading and watching the Masters. I love to do that. I told Jim the course at the Masters would be a wonderful campground. He looked at me like I said something against God himself and that I was headed straight to hell.
Much love to you all.
Molly Elizabeth Brawley, Dog Owner Extraordinaire
Friday, April 4, 2008
Uneventful day--isn't that nice?
Spring Break is officially over--just in time for the sun to come out tomorrow! Woohoo...high of 62. The Vikings have their first game (finally) starting at 10 a.m. in South Bend. I guess Andrew is playing first base, which is strange but he can pretty much play anywhere in the infield so whatever is best for the team. Josh doesn't play for awhile.
I have become addicted to McDonald's Sweet Tea. I grew up drinking regular ice tea--my mom always made sun tea--and my neighbor across the street Felicia (I called her Fi, short for FiFi) always had sweet tea that her mom made and it was the BEST. So Mickey D's tea reminds me of that. Yummy.
I have not done much constructive today except laundry. The house is picked up (notice I didn't say clean) but since Andrew cleaned out the bottom of his closet the laundry will never end. Normally, I clean closets on Spring Break but never did.
Did I tell you I love my purse?
Andrew and Kait got his tux. It is black with turquoise tie, etc...It's a regular tie. I asked Andrew if the turquoise matched Kait's dress and he said "she said it did, so yeh, I guess." I asked him where they were going to dinner and he said "Kait knows." I asked him who they were going with and he said "uh...Kait knows." Poor Kait. What a nub he is. He IS very excited and asked me a few questions about prom in general but he sure isn't into details.
After practice today many of the team went to shave their heads. They had mentioned mohawks so I reminded Andrew of prom...I sure hope he comes home with some hair.
Spaghetti for dinner tonight.
Life is good.
Molly
I have become addicted to McDonald's Sweet Tea. I grew up drinking regular ice tea--my mom always made sun tea--and my neighbor across the street Felicia (I called her Fi, short for FiFi) always had sweet tea that her mom made and it was the BEST. So Mickey D's tea reminds me of that. Yummy.
I have not done much constructive today except laundry. The house is picked up (notice I didn't say clean) but since Andrew cleaned out the bottom of his closet the laundry will never end. Normally, I clean closets on Spring Break but never did.
Did I tell you I love my purse?
Andrew and Kait got his tux. It is black with turquoise tie, etc...It's a regular tie. I asked Andrew if the turquoise matched Kait's dress and he said "she said it did, so yeh, I guess." I asked him where they were going to dinner and he said "Kait knows." I asked him who they were going with and he said "uh...Kait knows." Poor Kait. What a nub he is. He IS very excited and asked me a few questions about prom in general but he sure isn't into details.
After practice today many of the team went to shave their heads. They had mentioned mohawks so I reminded Andrew of prom...I sure hope he comes home with some hair.
Spaghetti for dinner tonight.
Life is good.
Molly
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Let me tell you about my purse.
Interesting day today. I went to Kalamazoo to sit with my mom during her all day chemo session. I am so glad I did as it opens my eyes to other aspects of this terrible disease that I have been lucky to avoid. The place was WAAAAY too busy...mom said it was actually pretty empty compared to other Wednesdays. Maybe everyone is on Spring Break? There were some pretty amazing people there...fighting the good fight. A couple women there with no hair--such a telltale sign of breast cancer. One lady near my mom has been coming to the Cancer center since 1999...she was about 50. Wow.
My mom looks good, albeit her hair has gotten so gray! She used to dye it and since cancer decided what the hell...she hates it but since it IS thinning a little bit she doesn't want to harm it any more by putting chemicals on it. She looked little to me...she says she has lost 10 pounds but only right after surgery--she has lost no weight on chemo but sure looked tiny. I think she is doing fine, but not as well as she portrays. Bless her for that tho'--she doesn't want me to worry down here so tells me everything is fine. My dad takes such good care of her. They both enjoyed their Subway subs for lunch--mom could only eat 1/4 of hers but had eaten lots of cookies that the "coffee cart" had brought around. There was also a woman there who gave massages...even to visitors. It was actually a very nice place but one that no one wants to visit!
The car ride was filled with singing and open windows. Just me and my XM radio listening to the Pina Colada song. I had forgetten the story of that song...I think back in the day I never listened to lyrics, just sang. It's a silly song but fun.
Let me tell you about my purse. I am making a big deal out of it because it is something I have wanted for years. My friends Marcia and Betty will understand...I bought my first Vera Bradley purse! Now, mind you, some people think these purses are for old ladies and don't understand the attraction for this cloth thing...but I have wanted one for a long time, so if they are for old ladies, well, then I am an old lady and happy to be one! I also splurged and got a wallet in the same pattern. This was my 6 month NED (no evidence of disease)purchase. (One woman I know goes on a great vacation every year she is NED. We love NED.) So, what I like about the purse besides its bright and sunny pattern is that I can actually see in it...no more dark leather that was vinyl anyway. : )
Did you notice my little quiz in the upper right hand corner of the blog site? It's something new that the blog site is offering so I thought I would try it out. Answer if you know...and even if you don't. I will tell the answer in a few days. Also, by now you have noticed I changed the blog template again. I was getting tired of it. Someone needs to design some other templates I think. : )
That is all for now. Such a wonderful day. Appreciate your good health each and every day!
Molly
My mom looks good, albeit her hair has gotten so gray! She used to dye it and since cancer decided what the hell...she hates it but since it IS thinning a little bit she doesn't want to harm it any more by putting chemicals on it. She looked little to me...she says she has lost 10 pounds but only right after surgery--she has lost no weight on chemo but sure looked tiny. I think she is doing fine, but not as well as she portrays. Bless her for that tho'--she doesn't want me to worry down here so tells me everything is fine. My dad takes such good care of her. They both enjoyed their Subway subs for lunch--mom could only eat 1/4 of hers but had eaten lots of cookies that the "coffee cart" had brought around. There was also a woman there who gave massages...even to visitors. It was actually a very nice place but one that no one wants to visit!
The car ride was filled with singing and open windows. Just me and my XM radio listening to the Pina Colada song. I had forgetten the story of that song...I think back in the day I never listened to lyrics, just sang. It's a silly song but fun.
Let me tell you about my purse. I am making a big deal out of it because it is something I have wanted for years. My friends Marcia and Betty will understand...I bought my first Vera Bradley purse! Now, mind you, some people think these purses are for old ladies and don't understand the attraction for this cloth thing...but I have wanted one for a long time, so if they are for old ladies, well, then I am an old lady and happy to be one! I also splurged and got a wallet in the same pattern. This was my 6 month NED (no evidence of disease)purchase. (One woman I know goes on a great vacation every year she is NED. We love NED.) So, what I like about the purse besides its bright and sunny pattern is that I can actually see in it...no more dark leather that was vinyl anyway. : )
Did you notice my little quiz in the upper right hand corner of the blog site? It's something new that the blog site is offering so I thought I would try it out. Answer if you know...and even if you don't. I will tell the answer in a few days. Also, by now you have noticed I changed the blog template again. I was getting tired of it. Someone needs to design some other templates I think. : )
That is all for now. Such a wonderful day. Appreciate your good health each and every day!
Molly
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Perfectly normal!
Mary from Dr. Ansari's office just called and said:
Dr. Ansari got your report and your CT scan is "perfectly normal". She then said that for sure it is "just an old granuloma"...it is NOT cancer.
I am shaking as I type this. Now I have things to do to enjoy the rest of my Spring Break!
I think I will go shopping.
Thanks to all of you who have listened, and I know will continue to listen to me. This journey is far from over but I think making it 6 months is worthy of a celebration--like spending money.
Hugs to all of you!!!!!
Kristina, special thanks to you. You know why, my sister.
Molly
Dr. Ansari got your report and your CT scan is "perfectly normal". She then said that for sure it is "just an old granuloma"...it is NOT cancer.
I am shaking as I type this. Now I have things to do to enjoy the rest of my Spring Break!
I think I will go shopping.
Thanks to all of you who have listened, and I know will continue to listen to me. This journey is far from over but I think making it 6 months is worthy of a celebration--like spending money.
Hugs to all of you!!!!!
Kristina, special thanks to you. You know why, my sister.
Molly
Still waiting....
Of course no one called. So I just called and got put through to the triage nurse voice mail--left my message and now get to wait for someone to call me back. GAWD! There should be some law against this. This takes me back to waiting for Dr. H to call after that loooooonnnng weekend and he never called either. So unless you want to hear me whine and worry, I wouldn't read any further.
I thought I would sleep good last night but the dog and Jim had other ideas. Jim is in this crazed sleep mode--as in "I attack my wife in my sleep" mode. He doesn't really attack me but turns over and comes towards my side of the bed really quickly with his arms flailing. Scares me awake each and every time. He is sound asleep through the whole thing--plus he has that big ol' breathing thing going on that could wake someone in Montana. And Shade was a bit out of sorts last night from the storm so she too woke me up...laid right next to my head and panted and kept offering the paw. So of course when I wake up I get to thinking and I kept thinking that the radiologist who read the initial chest x-ray should have had access to the PET/CT that Memorial ran--it wasn't the same site, but the same network. So if he HAD the access, did he denote THIS nodule as something different? And did Dr. Ansari tell me the whole truth and nothing else? I have a tendency to make things up when I don't know the whole story... And then the worrying starts...
I am just awful at this.
And then I try to tell myself the good things:
1) I KNEW something would show up because it always does.
2) Dr. Ansari said 95 percent sure it was the same nodule.
3) Dr. Ansari did not mention any thing else showing up and at least in my mind there should have been two things mentioned if there was something new.
4) He told me to make an appointment for 6 months.
5)uh...that's all I can think of right now.
And I guess what I have to believe is this: It is what it is.
I shall return, of course. If someone EVER calls me back!
Molly
I thought I would sleep good last night but the dog and Jim had other ideas. Jim is in this crazed sleep mode--as in "I attack my wife in my sleep" mode. He doesn't really attack me but turns over and comes towards my side of the bed really quickly with his arms flailing. Scares me awake each and every time. He is sound asleep through the whole thing--plus he has that big ol' breathing thing going on that could wake someone in Montana. And Shade was a bit out of sorts last night from the storm so she too woke me up...laid right next to my head and panted and kept offering the paw. So of course when I wake up I get to thinking and I kept thinking that the radiologist who read the initial chest x-ray should have had access to the PET/CT that Memorial ran--it wasn't the same site, but the same network. So if he HAD the access, did he denote THIS nodule as something different? And did Dr. Ansari tell me the whole truth and nothing else? I have a tendency to make things up when I don't know the whole story... And then the worrying starts...
I am just awful at this.
And then I try to tell myself the good things:
1) I KNEW something would show up because it always does.
2) Dr. Ansari said 95 percent sure it was the same nodule.
3) Dr. Ansari did not mention any thing else showing up and at least in my mind there should have been two things mentioned if there was something new.
4) He told me to make an appointment for 6 months.
5)uh...that's all I can think of right now.
And I guess what I have to believe is this: It is what it is.
I shall return, of course. If someone EVER calls me back!
Molly
Monday, March 31, 2008
Only I can be so complicated.
Ok--there is a 1 cm nodule in the upper right lobe of my lung--Dr. Ansari is 95 percent sure it is the same nodule that was found in my PET/CT scan in July that is thought to be a "granuloma", which is basically scar tissue. (I am pretty sure I have had the granuloma for years--I remember when Dr. Stanley found it when Josh was just a toddler. I think she said it was caused by scarring from bronchitis type stuff)
Anyway, the nodule is in the same spot (upper right lobe) but to be sure, Dr. Ansari ordered a chest CT with dye, which I had today right in the same office. He said he would know the results either later today or tomorrow and that he would call me, but if I hadn't heard from him, I should call him tomorrow around 1:00. (I will run around naked if he actually calls me--no one ever does that so I am sure I will have to call there) When I told the tech who did the CT that Dr. Ansari wanted the results right away he seemed rather surprised but asked the other tech if there was a stat order on it --I didn't hear what he said but assumed he said yes because the tech said "ok." But who knows, the other tech probably shook his head no, like I was just another crazed cancer paranoid witch! : ) With my luck, they won't know tomorrow as it is! : (
But this is what is keeping me from freaking out: On every chest x-ray I have had in the last 10 years a nodule has shown up--and on this most recent x-ray, it is the ONLY thing (unless Dr. Ansari did not tell me) showing up, so it has to be the same thing, right??? I just don't remember it being 1 cm--but back in the day, 1 cm was SMALL to me so maybe I am not remembering correctly. 1 cm seems huges now to me now that I know what cm means. UGH.
The other thing that relaxed me just a bit was there was just one nodule at all. If ACC is aggressive, often times numerous lesions or nodules appear, so if worst case scenario comes to fruition, at least there is one for now.
But again, I am just praying it is the original granuloma. Dr. A said he believes 95 percent that is what it is, but wanted a "Chest CT with Dye" as a baseline anyway, as "this thing will continue to show up and he will at least know what he is dealing with." So I would guess that if it were to grow, we would know we have issues. I wanted him to just call and ask to see my other chest x-rays but he seemed pretty adament about gettting the chest CT as it shows better I guess. Sigh.
So, there you have it. Not GREAT news but not devastating news either. I guess when a doctor tells me 95 percent sure it is nothing most of us would believe him, but Miss RAREISMYFRICKINGMIDDLENAME doesn't trust any percents when applied to me. But deep down, I think I will be able to sleep tonight.
The rest of the appointment was fine--all my bloodwork was "normal." Hell, I don't even know what he was looking for. Secondly, I do not have to see him until September and that is after an MRI of my GOOD BREAST. I thought it would be of the bad breast, but he said no, there is nothing to image there--it would be looking for something in the "ocean when it was dark". That surprised me and I will have to check with my BC sisters if this is protocol. The lady who scheduled me for the MRI said that with reconstruction, they don't image it. But I still don't know how they would catch a recurrence, unless it is just with a lump or something. So, on the first day of school next year I have an MRI, and then two days later see Dr. A. Won't Jim Knoll love me for getting out of the first day of school? : ) Luckily, he is a great boss and always lets me take care of my boobs when needed.
So, with the moment of chaos concerning the nodule, I asked no other questions, like should I have a colonoscopy, why does my rib/liver/fat on my side hurt, why does my hip hurt, why am I a hypochondriac, was my tumor an aggressive kind, yada yada. But perhaps the fact he doesn't want to see me until September should tell me not to worry about those things. I also know that Sharon, the ACC/breast guru, says that with ACC, until symptoms are present, LIVE YOUR LIFE.
TTFN. If Dr. Ansari's office calls watch out for the fat lady running down Grant Street butt naked.
Molly
Anyway, the nodule is in the same spot (upper right lobe) but to be sure, Dr. Ansari ordered a chest CT with dye, which I had today right in the same office. He said he would know the results either later today or tomorrow and that he would call me, but if I hadn't heard from him, I should call him tomorrow around 1:00. (I will run around naked if he actually calls me--no one ever does that so I am sure I will have to call there) When I told the tech who did the CT that Dr. Ansari wanted the results right away he seemed rather surprised but asked the other tech if there was a stat order on it --I didn't hear what he said but assumed he said yes because the tech said "ok." But who knows, the other tech probably shook his head no, like I was just another crazed cancer paranoid witch! : ) With my luck, they won't know tomorrow as it is! : (
But this is what is keeping me from freaking out: On every chest x-ray I have had in the last 10 years a nodule has shown up--and on this most recent x-ray, it is the ONLY thing (unless Dr. Ansari did not tell me) showing up, so it has to be the same thing, right??? I just don't remember it being 1 cm--but back in the day, 1 cm was SMALL to me so maybe I am not remembering correctly. 1 cm seems huges now to me now that I know what cm means. UGH.
The other thing that relaxed me just a bit was there was just one nodule at all. If ACC is aggressive, often times numerous lesions or nodules appear, so if worst case scenario comes to fruition, at least there is one for now.
But again, I am just praying it is the original granuloma. Dr. A said he believes 95 percent that is what it is, but wanted a "Chest CT with Dye" as a baseline anyway, as "this thing will continue to show up and he will at least know what he is dealing with." So I would guess that if it were to grow, we would know we have issues. I wanted him to just call and ask to see my other chest x-rays but he seemed pretty adament about gettting the chest CT as it shows better I guess. Sigh.
So, there you have it. Not GREAT news but not devastating news either. I guess when a doctor tells me 95 percent sure it is nothing most of us would believe him, but Miss RAREISMYFRICKINGMIDDLENAME doesn't trust any percents when applied to me. But deep down, I think I will be able to sleep tonight.
The rest of the appointment was fine--all my bloodwork was "normal." Hell, I don't even know what he was looking for. Secondly, I do not have to see him until September and that is after an MRI of my GOOD BREAST. I thought it would be of the bad breast, but he said no, there is nothing to image there--it would be looking for something in the "ocean when it was dark". That surprised me and I will have to check with my BC sisters if this is protocol. The lady who scheduled me for the MRI said that with reconstruction, they don't image it. But I still don't know how they would catch a recurrence, unless it is just with a lump or something. So, on the first day of school next year I have an MRI, and then two days later see Dr. A. Won't Jim Knoll love me for getting out of the first day of school? : ) Luckily, he is a great boss and always lets me take care of my boobs when needed.
So, with the moment of chaos concerning the nodule, I asked no other questions, like should I have a colonoscopy, why does my rib/liver/fat on my side hurt, why does my hip hurt, why am I a hypochondriac, was my tumor an aggressive kind, yada yada. But perhaps the fact he doesn't want to see me until September should tell me not to worry about those things. I also know that Sharon, the ACC/breast guru, says that with ACC, until symptoms are present, LIVE YOUR LIFE.
TTFN. If Dr. Ansari's office calls watch out for the fat lady running down Grant Street butt naked.
Molly
Sunday, March 30, 2008
In less than 24 hours, I will know.
Hello--
Still freaking out. But I do have moments of calm and this is one of them.
This weekend was a weekend of firsts. Friday, Jim and I went to Barnes and Noble, my favorite place to go. Bought $95 worth of books--none about cancer mind you. Then, we went to Panera, which was a first for both of us (I had gone in once but never bought anything.) We rather enjoyed it. Then Saturday I "made" Jim go to the Farmer's Market in Elkhart--which was about 1/2 hour away. This place is HUGE...but since it is still cold, didn't have much in the way of veggies and fruits. The best part was the "food court"--which was mainly Amish people making homemade goodies. I bought $7 worth of home churned butter, and the BEST homemade soft pretzels...Jim got a butter pecan ice cream cone--homemade--and then I brought the boys home some cinnamon rolls and two hot out-of-the-fryer doughnuts. YUM. The retail stuff was ok...I won't go back until summer but it was a fun diversion for us. We ran into Carla from work who had also dragged her husband there. We called it our Spring Break trip--both of us wanted some where warm but settled for the Amish Farmer's Market. : )
Today I went to Wal-Mart and bought $100 worth of plastic--shower gel, soap, laundry detergent, razers, shampoo, conditioner, etc. I bought doubles of everything since we have two bathrooms--Jim primarily just uses the upstairs one but lately I have been forced to as well since the kids are always taking showers it seems! The red clay from the baseball field has already permeated my bathtub and my carpeting.
Kristina, thanks for your words. I know you understand and it helps to know I am not alone. I know this cancer is slow growing but it is also unpredictable so I don't think anyone even knows what to expect. I do need to ask Dr. Ansari some more questions about my pathology report (e.g is there anything to indicate the tumor histology is aggressive) and does the size scare him more than if it were smaller--which is really a dumb question but there is some research to show that the size doesn't matter as long as the main form isn't aggressive. I just wonder how long I had the darn thing.
Never did hear about my chest x-ray. But I have had tests before and other than the mammo letters, I usually only hear results from my doctors so I am not that freaked about that. Just your everyday "freaked."
As always, I keep telling myself, "I am not going to die today."
Molly
Still freaking out. But I do have moments of calm and this is one of them.
This weekend was a weekend of firsts. Friday, Jim and I went to Barnes and Noble, my favorite place to go. Bought $95 worth of books--none about cancer mind you. Then, we went to Panera, which was a first for both of us (I had gone in once but never bought anything.) We rather enjoyed it. Then Saturday I "made" Jim go to the Farmer's Market in Elkhart--which was about 1/2 hour away. This place is HUGE...but since it is still cold, didn't have much in the way of veggies and fruits. The best part was the "food court"--which was mainly Amish people making homemade goodies. I bought $7 worth of home churned butter, and the BEST homemade soft pretzels...Jim got a butter pecan ice cream cone--homemade--and then I brought the boys home some cinnamon rolls and two hot out-of-the-fryer doughnuts. YUM. The retail stuff was ok...I won't go back until summer but it was a fun diversion for us. We ran into Carla from work who had also dragged her husband there. We called it our Spring Break trip--both of us wanted some where warm but settled for the Amish Farmer's Market. : )
Today I went to Wal-Mart and bought $100 worth of plastic--shower gel, soap, laundry detergent, razers, shampoo, conditioner, etc. I bought doubles of everything since we have two bathrooms--Jim primarily just uses the upstairs one but lately I have been forced to as well since the kids are always taking showers it seems! The red clay from the baseball field has already permeated my bathtub and my carpeting.
Kristina, thanks for your words. I know you understand and it helps to know I am not alone. I know this cancer is slow growing but it is also unpredictable so I don't think anyone even knows what to expect. I do need to ask Dr. Ansari some more questions about my pathology report (e.g is there anything to indicate the tumor histology is aggressive) and does the size scare him more than if it were smaller--which is really a dumb question but there is some research to show that the size doesn't matter as long as the main form isn't aggressive. I just wonder how long I had the darn thing.
Never did hear about my chest x-ray. But I have had tests before and other than the mammo letters, I usually only hear results from my doctors so I am not that freaked about that. Just your everyday "freaked."
As always, I keep telling myself, "I am not going to die today."
Molly
Friday, March 28, 2008
A bit calmer.
Ok, I needed to write again to say that I think I am feeling better about things. My worries are all still there but I just feel ok. Sorry about the dramatics--I don't mean to be that way but cancer does that to me.
I wish I could always put on an awesome front but tonight I couldn't.
Again, I am doing ok. Getting ready to go to my safe haven of my bed to read a new book I got today. You will think I am crazy(ier) but the book is about sea turtles. It is quite sappy but takes place in the Carolinas and I am enthralled with the southern east coast these day.
Thanks for listening (dear diary). (HA! I used to write that back in the day!)
Smooches to all of you.
Molly
I wish I could always put on an awesome front but tonight I couldn't.
Again, I am doing ok. Getting ready to go to my safe haven of my bed to read a new book I got today. You will think I am crazy(ier) but the book is about sea turtles. It is quite sappy but takes place in the Carolinas and I am enthralled with the southern east coast these day.
Thanks for listening (dear diary). (HA! I used to write that back in the day!)
Smooches to all of you.
Molly
Terrified.
I have been avoiding blogging this week because what I am about to write may be seen as another "cry wolf" hypochondria entry but to tell you the truth, I am freaking out.
You know how I have mentioned this liver tumor fear? This is because I have had an achiness below my ribcage, sort of towards my side. For awhile it would come and go. Now, it feels like a persistent "cramp" and my lowest rib on my right side is very tender to the touch and looks swollen. I have had Jim feel it and he says he can't feel any difference between the swollen side and the non-swollen side, but when he touches both sides at once, I have that same strange pain I had in the boob. It just is scary.
I guess the good thing is I will know on Monday. When they did my chest x-ray they did a lateral view and I doubt if there IS anything on that rib it would be missed....in fact, it should show up since that is right where the beams of light hit...
I hate this --more so now because it robs me of peace and that affects Jim, my kids, etc! It seems like we (me) are always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Normally, on the beginning of Spring Break I am looking forward to a week of sleeping in, warmer weather, and fun days with the kids. Now I am just terrified of Monday.
In the mail today I got a letter from Memorial Lighthouse, which is where I had the chest x-ray done, along with the mammo. I was almost excited to open it, thinking I would have reports about BOTH scans, but no, it was just my negative mammo report, which I already knew and never feared in the first place. I started shaking, thinking WHY didn't they send the x-ray report?
I am sorry to be so dismal and depressing. I would love to type on Monday that everything is cool and I keep praying that I can. I won't even care if you call my a pyschochondriac. I would love to be one!
Cancer sucks and that is all I have to say.
Molly
You know how I have mentioned this liver tumor fear? This is because I have had an achiness below my ribcage, sort of towards my side. For awhile it would come and go. Now, it feels like a persistent "cramp" and my lowest rib on my right side is very tender to the touch and looks swollen. I have had Jim feel it and he says he can't feel any difference between the swollen side and the non-swollen side, but when he touches both sides at once, I have that same strange pain I had in the boob. It just is scary.
I guess the good thing is I will know on Monday. When they did my chest x-ray they did a lateral view and I doubt if there IS anything on that rib it would be missed....in fact, it should show up since that is right where the beams of light hit...
I hate this --more so now because it robs me of peace and that affects Jim, my kids, etc! It seems like we (me) are always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Normally, on the beginning of Spring Break I am looking forward to a week of sleeping in, warmer weather, and fun days with the kids. Now I am just terrified of Monday.
In the mail today I got a letter from Memorial Lighthouse, which is where I had the chest x-ray done, along with the mammo. I was almost excited to open it, thinking I would have reports about BOTH scans, but no, it was just my negative mammo report, which I already knew and never feared in the first place. I started shaking, thinking WHY didn't they send the x-ray report?
I am sorry to be so dismal and depressing. I would love to type on Monday that everything is cool and I keep praying that I can. I won't even care if you call my a pyschochondriac. I would love to be one!
Cancer sucks and that is all I have to say.
Molly
Monday, March 24, 2008
Waiting
What an agonizing day. In a nutshell, I DO know that "reduced" cancer -free boob "looks great" according to the radiologist. And that man must have taken hours to read the thing or so it seemed. I even had to go back for additional views. The problem was that my OLD mammos are of BIG UGLY FAT breast and the new boob is smaller so he had to do some comparing of apples to oranges...or rather watermelons to muskmelons. Nevertheless, all is good with that boob.
And that is all I know so far. They took my chest x-ray and it too seemed like it took forever to tell me the films were ok...in terms of a clear shot--NOT that they were clear. Those films will not be read until later. I swear (when I was waiting for her to come tell me she needed no additional views)that she was calling all the doctors in to look at the big, huge mass in this lady's lung...your mind just goes nuts. She did carry the film with her when we walked to theboob squisher area and the one part I saw looked clear, except for this HUGE white looking thing in the middle that I am guessing was my heart...she said she had to take lateral views for that. At least she wasn't hiding them under her shirt or anything.
It was just agony letting my mind wander. I tried to eavesdrop on all the nurses thinking they were calling Dr. Ansari...gawd, I hate that! The good thing is, coming home, I felt relief. But I still don't know if my worst fear will be realized and that is again causing some angst. But at least there is no cancer in reduced boob. One small victory.
And then even if my lungs are clear, I worry about the ache in my liver area, my jaw, my tailbone,...I just need to go on some heavy drugs I think!
Seeing Dr. Ansari should help with the crazy worrying. That is one week from today.
Thanks for listening. I think I can move on now. Well, at least until after dinner.
Hugs--
Molly
And that is all I know so far. They took my chest x-ray and it too seemed like it took forever to tell me the films were ok...in terms of a clear shot--NOT that they were clear. Those films will not be read until later. I swear (when I was waiting for her to come tell me she needed no additional views)that she was calling all the doctors in to look at the big, huge mass in this lady's lung...your mind just goes nuts. She did carry the film with her when we walked to theboob squisher area and the one part I saw looked clear, except for this HUGE white looking thing in the middle that I am guessing was my heart...she said she had to take lateral views for that. At least she wasn't hiding them under her shirt or anything.
It was just agony letting my mind wander. I tried to eavesdrop on all the nurses thinking they were calling Dr. Ansari...gawd, I hate that! The good thing is, coming home, I felt relief. But I still don't know if my worst fear will be realized and that is again causing some angst. But at least there is no cancer in reduced boob. One small victory.
And then even if my lungs are clear, I worry about the ache in my liver area, my jaw, my tailbone,...I just need to go on some heavy drugs I think!
Seeing Dr. Ansari should help with the crazy worrying. That is one week from today.
Thanks for listening. I think I can move on now. Well, at least until after dinner.
Hugs--
Molly
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Potato chips, red eye, and snow storms.
How ridiculous is this impending snow storm we are about to get? 6-8"!!! Is that nuts or what? And we were supposed to play baseball...which is sad...and also no chance of a snow day as snow won't come until after we are in school. Actually, I need to be in school tomorrow as I have so much to do on a small timeline.
Tailbone hurts again and I have what in psychochondriacville is like a liver tumor. There. I wrote it down. Now I must move on.
Jim Brawley makes the best potato chips ever. He is a french fry freak but one day made some awesome potato chips instead and they are so yummy so I ask for them often. That's all I ate for dinner. No wonder I am so healthy.
Prom preparations are beginning. Kait and Andrew are going tux shopping this weekend. Prom is April 18 at the Century Center in South Bend. I have chaperoned...well..let's see...21 proms. I think I missed one year when I was preggers with Josh. It is absolutely amazing that my own son will now be in attendance. I do not know "after prom" plans...eek!
My mom's chemo scores were much better (as in normal) so she is back, doing her thing with the drugs. She has two red dots above each eyebrow that are considered a side effect. Nuts.
As you know, my tumor surgery back in 2001 left me with two syndromes--one is this first bite syndrome and the other, which I talk about rarely, is called Horner's Syndrome. If you see me in the afternoon my right eye is usually red and a bit droopy looking. Both first bite and Horner's Syndrome are caused by the severing of a nerve in my neck when they took out the tumor. The nerve could have possibly grown back together but hasn't. Why I am bringing this up now is that in a moment of googling addiction (I need a 12 step program for sure!) I googled both of them and for the most part, my schwannoma was listed as an underlying cause, but you guessed it, ACC was also listed. Now, the OLD me would have panicked, but the SMART me knows that surgery caused this, not the ACC or really even the schwannomma. But damn, why I am I so flippin' strange? Horner's syndrome is rare of course, but not to people who have their necks slashed open. I was thinking today that I need to slice my body in half vertically as all the bad crap is on the right side.
Tonight is a good night to feel those boobies...feel free to recruit a loved one if necessary.
Happy trails....
M
Tailbone hurts again and I have what in psychochondriacville is like a liver tumor. There. I wrote it down. Now I must move on.
Jim Brawley makes the best potato chips ever. He is a french fry freak but one day made some awesome potato chips instead and they are so yummy so I ask for them often. That's all I ate for dinner. No wonder I am so healthy.
Prom preparations are beginning. Kait and Andrew are going tux shopping this weekend. Prom is April 18 at the Century Center in South Bend. I have chaperoned...well..let's see...21 proms. I think I missed one year when I was preggers with Josh. It is absolutely amazing that my own son will now be in attendance. I do not know "after prom" plans...eek!
My mom's chemo scores were much better (as in normal) so she is back, doing her thing with the drugs. She has two red dots above each eyebrow that are considered a side effect. Nuts.
As you know, my tumor surgery back in 2001 left me with two syndromes--one is this first bite syndrome and the other, which I talk about rarely, is called Horner's Syndrome. If you see me in the afternoon my right eye is usually red and a bit droopy looking. Both first bite and Horner's Syndrome are caused by the severing of a nerve in my neck when they took out the tumor. The nerve could have possibly grown back together but hasn't. Why I am bringing this up now is that in a moment of googling addiction (I need a 12 step program for sure!) I googled both of them and for the most part, my schwannoma was listed as an underlying cause, but you guessed it, ACC was also listed. Now, the OLD me would have panicked, but the SMART me knows that surgery caused this, not the ACC or really even the schwannomma. But damn, why I am I so flippin' strange? Horner's syndrome is rare of course, but not to people who have their necks slashed open. I was thinking today that I need to slice my body in half vertically as all the bad crap is on the right side.
Tonight is a good night to feel those boobies...feel free to recruit a loved one if necessary.
Happy trails....
M
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A message from Ava Christine's mom
For my new readers, you may not know that Ava Christine Zimmerman blessed this earth for such a very short time but impacted people around the WORLD for an eternity. Her loving parents asked that I post some information about an upcoming event. I am honored to do so and to say that I think of Ava's impact on this community daily as I am sure most of you do as well.
From "Girl" Jamie:
This month Jamie, Brayden and I are doing a Walk 4 Kids fundraiser in Ann Arbor. Here is the information I took from the website:Date: March 29Time: 9:15am registration begins/walk begins at 10a.m. Location: Downtown Ann Arbor - DTE Parking lot. We invite you to join in a magical day of fitness and fun at the Ann Arbor Walk 4 Kids on March 29, 2008. It was a natural fit for four special children’s agencies in Ann Arbor to come together to Walk 4 Kids! The Make-A-Wish Foundation® of Michigan, UM Comprehensive Cancer Center, Ronald McDonald House of Ann Arbor, UM C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital and Women’s Hospital collectively make a difference. Together we can help special children in our community. There is strength in numbers and we are joining forces to make a difference for our kids.Many of you have asked us since Ava's death if there is anything you can do. Please consider sponsoring us for this walk as two of these foundations made such a difference in our lives. Even a small amount makes a difference. (By the way, I promise not to ask for handouts all the time!) You can send the money to us at 16030 Rivershore Ln in Buchanan or get it to Michelle Asmus by Friday, March 28th. If you would like to write a check you can make it out to The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
From "Girl" Jamie:
This month Jamie, Brayden and I are doing a Walk 4 Kids fundraiser in Ann Arbor. Here is the information I took from the website:Date: March 29Time: 9:15am registration begins/walk begins at 10a.m. Location: Downtown Ann Arbor - DTE Parking lot. We invite you to join in a magical day of fitness and fun at the Ann Arbor Walk 4 Kids on March 29, 2008. It was a natural fit for four special children’s agencies in Ann Arbor to come together to Walk 4 Kids! The Make-A-Wish Foundation® of Michigan, UM Comprehensive Cancer Center, Ronald McDonald House of Ann Arbor, UM C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital and Women’s Hospital collectively make a difference. Together we can help special children in our community. There is strength in numbers and we are joining forces to make a difference for our kids.Many of you have asked us since Ava's death if there is anything you can do. Please consider sponsoring us for this walk as two of these foundations made such a difference in our lives. Even a small amount makes a difference. (By the way, I promise not to ask for handouts all the time!) You can send the money to us at 16030 Rivershore Ln in Buchanan or get it to Michelle Asmus by Friday, March 28th. If you would like to write a check you can make it out to The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Today I embarrassed myself so badly at lunch I still can't stop blushing. I can't share the whole story but it involved me confessing to needing my parents to help me in the bathroom when I was about five. So that doesn't seem all that embarrassing, but I just blurted it out like I was telling people about eye color or something mundane like that. The looks on their faces STILL make me cringe. GAWD, sometimes I forget I am "Boss Man Molly" (as my friend Jenny says) and I say the DUMBEST things. Anyway, we laughed so hard we cried.
One week from today is MY testing. Still some lung/chest/asthma type pain and of course my ear and glands in my face hurt. But remember when I thought I had cancer in my hips, gut, back etc? That has pretty much resolved itself.
Everyone is at baseball freezing their cleats off. Jim is helping Coach Vota if I hadn't mentioned that before. He is so excited but that puts me in charge of dinner. Which means we are having left over steak for Josh, Spinach Salad for Skinny Jim, Asian Chicken and Rice for Andrew (out of a box) and cheesecake for me! : ) Sounds good, doesn't it.
Are you all as broke as we are? It's freaking me out a little bit. You would think with two college degrees in the house we would be smarter and spend less. And I don't feel like we spend money on stupid things but apparently we do since I am not sure where our money is. I keep telling Jim it is gas prices. He says it is eating out so much. But I like to eat out... as in "I have cancer, can't we eat out?"
Hmmm. I guess that is all!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Molly
One week from today is MY testing. Still some lung/chest/asthma type pain and of course my ear and glands in my face hurt. But remember when I thought I had cancer in my hips, gut, back etc? That has pretty much resolved itself.
Everyone is at baseball freezing their cleats off. Jim is helping Coach Vota if I hadn't mentioned that before. He is so excited but that puts me in charge of dinner. Which means we are having left over steak for Josh, Spinach Salad for Skinny Jim, Asian Chicken and Rice for Andrew (out of a box) and cheesecake for me! : ) Sounds good, doesn't it.
Are you all as broke as we are? It's freaking me out a little bit. You would think with two college degrees in the house we would be smarter and spend less. And I don't feel like we spend money on stupid things but apparently we do since I am not sure where our money is. I keep telling Jim it is gas prices. He says it is eating out so much. But I like to eat out... as in "I have cancer, can't we eat out?"
Hmmm. I guess that is all!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Molly
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