Monday, October 5, 2009

Holy cow, I am a wreck.

Heavy sigh. I wish I could express this nervous feeling I have into words but I can't. Tomorrow is Dr. Ansari, a visit that could be dreadful, or wonderful. No control here on which it will be. I will have a chest xray and bloodwork--routine--but it has been 7 months since my last tests and as every cancer survivor fears, the routine scan will not be so routine. I think I might be overly sensitive to this scan because of the recent events with many ACC breast sisters who have learned they have mets after supposedly years of clean scans...and the other part of this is that from what I have read is that the aggressive ACC tumors often (well, sometimes) show up within the two year span. Well, I am just out of my two year time frame and want it to be CLEAR. I want to be the lucky one.

I continue to hope and pray that I am beating this but if I am honest, I continue to be scared every day. Prayers tonight would be appreciated. I want to be NED forever.

And, I need a new purse dammit! This pink summer one ain't getting it.

Love you all--please think of me!


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