Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Still waiting....

Of course no one called. So I just called and got put through to the triage nurse voice mail--left my message and now get to wait for someone to call me back. GAWD! There should be some law against this. This takes me back to waiting for Dr. H to call after that loooooonnnng weekend and he never called either. So unless you want to hear me whine and worry, I wouldn't read any further.

I thought I would sleep good last night but the dog and Jim had other ideas. Jim is in this crazed sleep mode--as in "I attack my wife in my sleep" mode. He doesn't really attack me but turns over and comes towards my side of the bed really quickly with his arms flailing. Scares me awake each and every time. He is sound asleep through the whole thing--plus he has that big ol' breathing thing going on that could wake someone in Montana. And Shade was a bit out of sorts last night from the storm so she too woke me up...laid right next to my head and panted and kept offering the paw. So of course when I wake up I get to thinking and I kept thinking that the radiologist who read the initial chest x-ray should have had access to the PET/CT that Memorial ran--it wasn't the same site, but the same network. So if he HAD the access, did he denote THIS nodule as something different? And did Dr. Ansari tell me the whole truth and nothing else? I have a tendency to make things up when I don't know the whole story... And then the worrying starts...

I am just awful at this.

And then I try to tell myself the good things:

1) I KNEW something would show up because it always does.
2) Dr. Ansari said 95 percent sure it was the same nodule.
3) Dr. Ansari did not mention any thing else showing up and at least in my mind there should have been two things mentioned if there was something new.
4) He told me to make an appointment for 6 months.
5)uh...that's all I can think of right now.

And I guess what I have to believe is this: It is what it is.

I shall return, of course. If someone EVER calls me back!


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