Saturday, January 12, 2008

Cough. Cancer. Cough. Cancer. That is my life.

I thought this week took forever. I needed sleep like grass needs sunshine and water. My sinus infection/cold was torture--poor Jim had to sleep with me looking sexy as heck with my Breathe Right nose strip and Vick's VapoRub slopped underneath my nose. Plus I would blow my nose as loudly and annoyingly as possible so I am sure he was ready to kick me out. (actually, he says no, since he hears NOTHING when he sleeps) Today seems better and perhaps I am jumping the gun on this, but I think my back, hips, and tailbone pain is better. I sure hope so. I am still such a worrier.

A n ACC/breast women emailed me today. She unfortunately has had a lung met. It occured three years after her mastectomy. She feels she had an aggressive type of tumor. Just another reason I wish I knew my tumor histology. But then again, maybe I don't want to know??

Kristina, hope you are doing well. Check in when you have a chance.

My mom had her onco. appointment and she is Stage III, and actually has 6 lymph nodes out of 26 that had a little cancer in them. (where she got two originally I do not know) She will have chemo 3 days on, a week off, 3 days on, a week off, etc. for 6 months. She does not know what drugs etc... I wish I had gone with her. She was a bit grouchy on the phone but I am not sure why as she didn't seem concerned about it. Perhaps it was my incessant questions about everything. One interesting thing was that the doctor asked if I had been genetically tested ...yeh, that is what I thought. Hmmmm. He said that I could call him anytime if I had questions about my mom...she wasn't sure WHY he thought I should be genetically tested, but he was very intrigued with the rareness of the neck tumor I had and now the ACC. Maybe I SHOULD make it a point to go to an appointment with her... Anyway, mom seems ok. She does have to have a PET scan next week, so now we get to worry about that. I thought that the CT they did before sort of covered it all, but I guess with 6 lymph nodes, they have to be worried it traveled to distant sites. Ugh.

A year ago on this date I knew very little about cancer, PET scans, stages, tumor markers, etc. Sigh.

I took the boys to the mall today to get Andrew a shirt/tie for Winter Formal which is next weekend. Josh is not sure he wants to go. That in itself is strange as he is my social butterfly. He said if he went he would probably just stand around so why waste the money? Not too many of his friends are going and he has no girlfriend so I appreciate him not wasting our money but hope he doesn't regret it. Andrew found two shirts and two ties...Kait is wearing an orange/coral/sherbet dress so rather than try to match it, he just bought something bright that would go with it. The Winter Formal is one of NHS's most popular dances. I will be sure to post some pictures if the brat will let me take some. (don't worry, I will)

It was fun at the mall. I shop more now than ever. One thing I have become addicted to is ordering USED books on line through Barnes and Noble. I have a few favorite authors and love to read their old stuff and of course can't find the old stuff so I look online and find quite a few books for 99 cents, etc. The shipping ends up being more than the book but it is a good way to find hard to find books. Has anyone read Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett? It looks so daunting but my friend Oprah said it is worth every minute of the reading.

Debbie, if you are reading this know that I am thinking about you constantly. I know your surgery is Wednesday and you will feel so much better when that cancer is OUT OF YOU. It hurts the first few days but take all the drugs you can and try to sleep. The drains aren't all that bad, I promise. The whole thing is doable, just relax, have faith, and let others pamper you. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. And call me anytime if you have questions. Linda, I haven't heard an update on you, but if you are ready this, you too have occupied my thoughts daily.

Hmmm. Slow news day. Final exams for kids next week, then a new semester. Andrew is almost a year and a half away from college. Holy toledo it has gone so fast. Basketball game tonight, Josh is disappointed we have lost all our snow (how 'bout that river tho'???) and Shade continues to sleep on the couch, one eye on Jim, who continues to cook in the kitchen.

Have a great Saturday. Your support continues to bolster me when that ugly cancer cloud appears.



Erin Brooker (green) said...

Hey molly, i was just checking in on your blog to make sure thing's were going ok. I also wanted to let you know that i've read "Pillars of the Earth"'s an awsome read. If oprah say's read it....i do.

Wow, i've never checked my spelling and grammar so much, your not gonna grade me on this are you? ha. take care!!!!

Betty said...

Mol, Had to catch up on your blogs. Been to Boston and Louisville - getting my grandma fix. Busy with UW stuff and Hunter Ice Festival stuff and getting stuff for Australia/New Zealand trip organized. Lots of stuff! Pillars is a good read. Now reading Zamba by Ralph Helfer of Modoc fame. Hope sinus/cold continues to get better.
Always your friend - always!

Deb F. said...


I just read all of your blog today. Wow, what a journey you have been on for the last 7 months.

My cancer is different than yours, I have 3 tumors, each is less than 1.5 cm, but have to have a mastectomy, because of the multiple tumors.

My sentinal node biopsy will be done during the mastectomy. They do not know whether I will need chemo or radiation until after surgery.

I am also going to have Dr. Ansari for onco.

My mom also had colon stage III colon cancer about 10 years ago. She had chemo, no colostomy, and is cancer free today. She is now 71 years old and going strong.

We should talk in person. Love your blog. It has help me LOTS!!

Deb F said...


I forgot to tell you that my cancer start in the milk duct and is now beyond the duct.

Dr. Ansari also suggested that I go through genetic counseling.

The nurse at the BCC said that colon and breast cancers are similar.

Kristina said...

Hey Molly,

It has been a long slow winter here in New Jersey. I so long for the sun or some snow. I hate these in between days of just overcast cold bleak days. I have been feeling the lack of sun more this year than ever. I think I used up all my energy this past year fighting the cancer and now I am totally depleted. I was so saddened by Ava's passing, I cried all day when I heard. I know it sounds unusual but I felt like I knew her and her family. I even said to my husband I want to go to Michigan and be there at the wake and funeral. I so wanted to pay my respects. I feel she is in a beautiful place watching over us all but, I know that is little comfort for her parents who just long to hold her in their arms. Soooo sad!!!

My one year anniversary is coming up on the 19th of this month. I can remeber how a month ago this very morning I was getting up to go for my mammogram to find out what this "innocent" lump in my breast was and I was still convinced it was nothing. I was still so naive and sure of my health and strength that nothing could really hurt me, especially not cancer. I had all positives for not having cancer. Breastfeeding my kids, good health, exercise, no family history, under 40. Wow did my life change three days later when the biopsy results came back. I will never forget that phone call, even the radiologist was shocked. Plus, it was this rare unusual kind they had never really heard of. My whole life changed and I am still trying to pick up the pieces some days. But, the pieces are getting smaller and I am feeling stronger every day. I go for my six month mammo next week. Always fun and always nerve racking. I dont have that optimistic faith that I used to. I have to believe that God only gives us as much as we can handle but sometimes I want to say enough already I need a break. Cant I just coast for a while. Hopefully now is my coasting time right into sunny warm spring or a nice snowstorm, either will do. Love the snow!!!! I will let you know how the mammogram goes, sorry I have been out of touch I just havent been very motivated to do anything much.

Take care,