Sunday, February 24, 2008

Pollyanna or Doomsday Diane?

You know one of the best feelings in the world is when you feel bad and then you feel good. I had a hellacious migraine-type headache this morning and after 800 mg of ibuprofen and a bowl of hot Italian Wedding Soup for breakfast, I can cope. I thought my brain was going to explode.

The SECRET--if you read my comments, someone wrote that I should read the book called The Secret. I have not read it but saw it on Oprah, have read many excerpts, and feel I know the basic premise of the book. And I agree. We all do need to BELIEVE in good, BELIEVE in cures, BELIEVE in positivity, BELIEVE in ourselves, etc. But...and I have a big one...(pun intended) it takes TIME to get there. Overall, I think I am a pretty positive person. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't laugh and love, and if I am being honest, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder if this cancer is going to kill me. That is where this blog comes in. The Blog is my mini-version of the SECRET, as it allows me a place to get rid of the negativity and focus on all things positive. So if it seems like I am Doomsday Diane, I really am not. Even when I am scared out of my wits (in the doctor's office when he says "it's cancer") I am still ME, still in love with my life, in love with my world, in love with everything. It is not death that scares me, but missing out on such great stuff.

Having said that, I probably will read The Secret as I am all for learning and trying to worry less. I just hope you all don't think I am this black cloud who walks around being Negative Nancy. But I doubt I will ever be able to lie about how I am feeling--if I am feeling blue--yup, you are going to hear about it. 'Cause the god lord doesn't need me getting an ulcer on top of this yukky thing called cancer.

Happy sunny Sunday.

Molly

5 comments:

April Meek said...

This is why I read your blog-because it is honest and shows the ups and downs of dealing with cancer and life in general. Keep on being you that is what I enjoy about your blog.

April

Debbie said...

Molly

I agree with you about how your blog is a good release. It gives you a chance to air your feelings, good or bad, & is great therapy. I too am not afraid of death, I know that a better place is in my future. I just want to attend my grandchildren's weddings & die an old woman who has been married to her husband for 50+ years. I do not want to miss out on anything.

How many are going to Chicago on the 22nd? It sounds like you ladies are going to have a great time. I would love to attend, but that will be the day after my 3rd chemo treatment and I am not sure how I would be feeling. Besides I know what bra size I wear, after going to the prosthetic fitting.

Maybe I will see you tomrrow at conferences :)

Deb F.

Erin Brooker (green) said...

Hi Molly..just wanted to let ya know about a great book i just finished, "The Island" by Victoria Hislop. If you haven't read it yet, it's worth the time. Hope your feeling well!

~Lori said...

I too enjoy how "real" your blog is. It cracks me up at work during my mid-afternoon break..or mid-morning, or pre-lunch, or, or..haha

Seriously, keep it real!

Anonymous said...

This Blog is so MOLLY! Thats why I read it, its you, it real, its LIFE, good or bad, still God driven and lead! Its Molly's Musings!
You are real, it we wouldnt want it any other way! Blessings to you, good luck in your March Madness :o)
Amy Archer