Ok--there is a 1 cm nodule in the upper right lobe of my lung--Dr. Ansari is 95 percent sure it is the same nodule that was found in my PET/CT scan in July that is thought to be a "granuloma", which is basically scar tissue. (I am pretty sure I have had the granuloma for years--I remember when Dr. Stanley found it when Josh was just a toddler. I think she said it was caused by scarring from bronchitis type stuff)
Anyway, the nodule is in the same spot (upper right lobe) but to be sure, Dr. Ansari ordered a chest CT with dye, which I had today right in the same office. He said he would know the results either later today or tomorrow and that he would call me, but if I hadn't heard from him, I should call him tomorrow around 1:00. (I will run around naked if he actually calls me--no one ever does that so I am sure I will have to call there) When I told the tech who did the CT that Dr. Ansari wanted the results right away he seemed rather surprised but asked the other tech if there was a stat order on it --I didn't hear what he said but assumed he said yes because the tech said "ok." But who knows, the other tech probably shook his head no, like I was just another crazed cancer paranoid witch! : ) With my luck, they won't know tomorrow as it is! : (
But this is what is keeping me from freaking out: On every chest x-ray I have had in the last 10 years a nodule has shown up--and on this most recent x-ray, it is the ONLY thing (unless Dr. Ansari did not tell me) showing up, so it has to be the same thing, right??? I just don't remember it being 1 cm--but back in the day, 1 cm was SMALL to me so maybe I am not remembering correctly. 1 cm seems huges now to me now that I know what cm means. UGH.
The other thing that relaxed me just a bit was there was just one nodule at all. If ACC is aggressive, often times numerous lesions or nodules appear, so if worst case scenario comes to fruition, at least there is one for now.
But again, I am just praying it is the original granuloma. Dr. A said he believes 95 percent that is what it is, but wanted a "Chest CT with Dye" as a baseline anyway, as "this thing will continue to show up and he will at least know what he is dealing with." So I would guess that if it were to grow, we would know we have issues. I wanted him to just call and ask to see my other chest x-rays but he seemed pretty adament about gettting the chest CT as it shows better I guess. Sigh.
So, there you have it. Not GREAT news but not devastating news either. I guess when a doctor tells me 95 percent sure it is nothing most of us would believe him, but Miss RAREISMYFRICKINGMIDDLENAME doesn't trust any percents when applied to me. But deep down, I think I will be able to sleep tonight.
The rest of the appointment was fine--all my bloodwork was "normal." Hell, I don't even know what he was looking for. Secondly, I do not have to see him until September and that is after an MRI of my GOOD BREAST. I thought it would be of the bad breast, but he said no, there is nothing to image there--it would be looking for something in the "ocean when it was dark". That surprised me and I will have to check with my BC sisters if this is protocol. The lady who scheduled me for the MRI said that with reconstruction, they don't image it. But I still don't know how they would catch a recurrence, unless it is just with a lump or something. So, on the first day of school next year I have an MRI, and then two days later see Dr. A. Won't Jim Knoll love me for getting out of the first day of school? : ) Luckily, he is a great boss and always lets me take care of my boobs when needed.
So, with the moment of chaos concerning the nodule, I asked no other questions, like should I have a colonoscopy, why does my rib/liver/fat on my side hurt, why does my hip hurt, why am I a hypochondriac, was my tumor an aggressive kind, yada yada. But perhaps the fact he doesn't want to see me until September should tell me not to worry about those things. I also know that Sharon, the ACC/breast guru, says that with ACC, until symptoms are present, LIVE YOUR LIFE.
TTFN. If Dr. Ansari's office calls watch out for the fat lady running down Grant Street butt naked.
Molly
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
In less than 24 hours, I will know.
Hello--
Still freaking out. But I do have moments of calm and this is one of them.
This weekend was a weekend of firsts. Friday, Jim and I went to Barnes and Noble, my favorite place to go. Bought $95 worth of books--none about cancer mind you. Then, we went to Panera, which was a first for both of us (I had gone in once but never bought anything.) We rather enjoyed it. Then Saturday I "made" Jim go to the Farmer's Market in Elkhart--which was about 1/2 hour away. This place is HUGE...but since it is still cold, didn't have much in the way of veggies and fruits. The best part was the "food court"--which was mainly Amish people making homemade goodies. I bought $7 worth of home churned butter, and the BEST homemade soft pretzels...Jim got a butter pecan ice cream cone--homemade--and then I brought the boys home some cinnamon rolls and two hot out-of-the-fryer doughnuts. YUM. The retail stuff was ok...I won't go back until summer but it was a fun diversion for us. We ran into Carla from work who had also dragged her husband there. We called it our Spring Break trip--both of us wanted some where warm but settled for the Amish Farmer's Market. : )
Today I went to Wal-Mart and bought $100 worth of plastic--shower gel, soap, laundry detergent, razers, shampoo, conditioner, etc. I bought doubles of everything since we have two bathrooms--Jim primarily just uses the upstairs one but lately I have been forced to as well since the kids are always taking showers it seems! The red clay from the baseball field has already permeated my bathtub and my carpeting.
Kristina, thanks for your words. I know you understand and it helps to know I am not alone. I know this cancer is slow growing but it is also unpredictable so I don't think anyone even knows what to expect. I do need to ask Dr. Ansari some more questions about my pathology report (e.g is there anything to indicate the tumor histology is aggressive) and does the size scare him more than if it were smaller--which is really a dumb question but there is some research to show that the size doesn't matter as long as the main form isn't aggressive. I just wonder how long I had the darn thing.
Never did hear about my chest x-ray. But I have had tests before and other than the mammo letters, I usually only hear results from my doctors so I am not that freaked about that. Just your everyday "freaked."
As always, I keep telling myself, "I am not going to die today."
Molly
Still freaking out. But I do have moments of calm and this is one of them.
This weekend was a weekend of firsts. Friday, Jim and I went to Barnes and Noble, my favorite place to go. Bought $95 worth of books--none about cancer mind you. Then, we went to Panera, which was a first for both of us (I had gone in once but never bought anything.) We rather enjoyed it. Then Saturday I "made" Jim go to the Farmer's Market in Elkhart--which was about 1/2 hour away. This place is HUGE...but since it is still cold, didn't have much in the way of veggies and fruits. The best part was the "food court"--which was mainly Amish people making homemade goodies. I bought $7 worth of home churned butter, and the BEST homemade soft pretzels...Jim got a butter pecan ice cream cone--homemade--and then I brought the boys home some cinnamon rolls and two hot out-of-the-fryer doughnuts. YUM. The retail stuff was ok...I won't go back until summer but it was a fun diversion for us. We ran into Carla from work who had also dragged her husband there. We called it our Spring Break trip--both of us wanted some where warm but settled for the Amish Farmer's Market. : )
Today I went to Wal-Mart and bought $100 worth of plastic--shower gel, soap, laundry detergent, razers, shampoo, conditioner, etc. I bought doubles of everything since we have two bathrooms--Jim primarily just uses the upstairs one but lately I have been forced to as well since the kids are always taking showers it seems! The red clay from the baseball field has already permeated my bathtub and my carpeting.
Kristina, thanks for your words. I know you understand and it helps to know I am not alone. I know this cancer is slow growing but it is also unpredictable so I don't think anyone even knows what to expect. I do need to ask Dr. Ansari some more questions about my pathology report (e.g is there anything to indicate the tumor histology is aggressive) and does the size scare him more than if it were smaller--which is really a dumb question but there is some research to show that the size doesn't matter as long as the main form isn't aggressive. I just wonder how long I had the darn thing.
Never did hear about my chest x-ray. But I have had tests before and other than the mammo letters, I usually only hear results from my doctors so I am not that freaked about that. Just your everyday "freaked."
As always, I keep telling myself, "I am not going to die today."
Molly
Friday, March 28, 2008
A bit calmer.
Ok, I needed to write again to say that I think I am feeling better about things. My worries are all still there but I just feel ok. Sorry about the dramatics--I don't mean to be that way but cancer does that to me.
I wish I could always put on an awesome front but tonight I couldn't.
Again, I am doing ok. Getting ready to go to my safe haven of my bed to read a new book I got today. You will think I am crazy(ier) but the book is about sea turtles. It is quite sappy but takes place in the Carolinas and I am enthralled with the southern east coast these day.
Thanks for listening (dear diary). (HA! I used to write that back in the day!)
Smooches to all of you.
Molly
I wish I could always put on an awesome front but tonight I couldn't.
Again, I am doing ok. Getting ready to go to my safe haven of my bed to read a new book I got today. You will think I am crazy(ier) but the book is about sea turtles. It is quite sappy but takes place in the Carolinas and I am enthralled with the southern east coast these day.
Thanks for listening (dear diary). (HA! I used to write that back in the day!)
Smooches to all of you.
Molly
Terrified.
I have been avoiding blogging this week because what I am about to write may be seen as another "cry wolf" hypochondria entry but to tell you the truth, I am freaking out.
You know how I have mentioned this liver tumor fear? This is because I have had an achiness below my ribcage, sort of towards my side. For awhile it would come and go. Now, it feels like a persistent "cramp" and my lowest rib on my right side is very tender to the touch and looks swollen. I have had Jim feel it and he says he can't feel any difference between the swollen side and the non-swollen side, but when he touches both sides at once, I have that same strange pain I had in the boob. It just is scary.
I guess the good thing is I will know on Monday. When they did my chest x-ray they did a lateral view and I doubt if there IS anything on that rib it would be missed....in fact, it should show up since that is right where the beams of light hit...
I hate this --more so now because it robs me of peace and that affects Jim, my kids, etc! It seems like we (me) are always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Normally, on the beginning of Spring Break I am looking forward to a week of sleeping in, warmer weather, and fun days with the kids. Now I am just terrified of Monday.
In the mail today I got a letter from Memorial Lighthouse, which is where I had the chest x-ray done, along with the mammo. I was almost excited to open it, thinking I would have reports about BOTH scans, but no, it was just my negative mammo report, which I already knew and never feared in the first place. I started shaking, thinking WHY didn't they send the x-ray report?
I am sorry to be so dismal and depressing. I would love to type on Monday that everything is cool and I keep praying that I can. I won't even care if you call my a pyschochondriac. I would love to be one!
Cancer sucks and that is all I have to say.
Molly
You know how I have mentioned this liver tumor fear? This is because I have had an achiness below my ribcage, sort of towards my side. For awhile it would come and go. Now, it feels like a persistent "cramp" and my lowest rib on my right side is very tender to the touch and looks swollen. I have had Jim feel it and he says he can't feel any difference between the swollen side and the non-swollen side, but when he touches both sides at once, I have that same strange pain I had in the boob. It just is scary.
I guess the good thing is I will know on Monday. When they did my chest x-ray they did a lateral view and I doubt if there IS anything on that rib it would be missed....in fact, it should show up since that is right where the beams of light hit...
I hate this --more so now because it robs me of peace and that affects Jim, my kids, etc! It seems like we (me) are always waiting for the other shoe to fall. Normally, on the beginning of Spring Break I am looking forward to a week of sleeping in, warmer weather, and fun days with the kids. Now I am just terrified of Monday.
In the mail today I got a letter from Memorial Lighthouse, which is where I had the chest x-ray done, along with the mammo. I was almost excited to open it, thinking I would have reports about BOTH scans, but no, it was just my negative mammo report, which I already knew and never feared in the first place. I started shaking, thinking WHY didn't they send the x-ray report?
I am sorry to be so dismal and depressing. I would love to type on Monday that everything is cool and I keep praying that I can. I won't even care if you call my a pyschochondriac. I would love to be one!
Cancer sucks and that is all I have to say.
Molly
Monday, March 24, 2008
Waiting
What an agonizing day. In a nutshell, I DO know that "reduced" cancer -free boob "looks great" according to the radiologist. And that man must have taken hours to read the thing or so it seemed. I even had to go back for additional views. The problem was that my OLD mammos are of BIG UGLY FAT breast and the new boob is smaller so he had to do some comparing of apples to oranges...or rather watermelons to muskmelons. Nevertheless, all is good with that boob.
And that is all I know so far. They took my chest x-ray and it too seemed like it took forever to tell me the films were ok...in terms of a clear shot--NOT that they were clear. Those films will not be read until later. I swear (when I was waiting for her to come tell me she needed no additional views)that she was calling all the doctors in to look at the big, huge mass in this lady's lung...your mind just goes nuts. She did carry the film with her when we walked to theboob squisher area and the one part I saw looked clear, except for this HUGE white looking thing in the middle that I am guessing was my heart...she said she had to take lateral views for that. At least she wasn't hiding them under her shirt or anything.
It was just agony letting my mind wander. I tried to eavesdrop on all the nurses thinking they were calling Dr. Ansari...gawd, I hate that! The good thing is, coming home, I felt relief. But I still don't know if my worst fear will be realized and that is again causing some angst. But at least there is no cancer in reduced boob. One small victory.
And then even if my lungs are clear, I worry about the ache in my liver area, my jaw, my tailbone,...I just need to go on some heavy drugs I think!
Seeing Dr. Ansari should help with the crazy worrying. That is one week from today.
Thanks for listening. I think I can move on now. Well, at least until after dinner.
Hugs--
Molly
And that is all I know so far. They took my chest x-ray and it too seemed like it took forever to tell me the films were ok...in terms of a clear shot--NOT that they were clear. Those films will not be read until later. I swear (when I was waiting for her to come tell me she needed no additional views)that she was calling all the doctors in to look at the big, huge mass in this lady's lung...your mind just goes nuts. She did carry the film with her when we walked to theboob squisher area and the one part I saw looked clear, except for this HUGE white looking thing in the middle that I am guessing was my heart...she said she had to take lateral views for that. At least she wasn't hiding them under her shirt or anything.
It was just agony letting my mind wander. I tried to eavesdrop on all the nurses thinking they were calling Dr. Ansari...gawd, I hate that! The good thing is, coming home, I felt relief. But I still don't know if my worst fear will be realized and that is again causing some angst. But at least there is no cancer in reduced boob. One small victory.
And then even if my lungs are clear, I worry about the ache in my liver area, my jaw, my tailbone,...I just need to go on some heavy drugs I think!
Seeing Dr. Ansari should help with the crazy worrying. That is one week from today.
Thanks for listening. I think I can move on now. Well, at least until after dinner.
Hugs--
Molly
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Potato chips, red eye, and snow storms.
How ridiculous is this impending snow storm we are about to get? 6-8"!!! Is that nuts or what? And we were supposed to play baseball...which is sad...and also no chance of a snow day as snow won't come until after we are in school. Actually, I need to be in school tomorrow as I have so much to do on a small timeline.
Tailbone hurts again and I have what in psychochondriacville is like a liver tumor. There. I wrote it down. Now I must move on.
Jim Brawley makes the best potato chips ever. He is a french fry freak but one day made some awesome potato chips instead and they are so yummy so I ask for them often. That's all I ate for dinner. No wonder I am so healthy.
Prom preparations are beginning. Kait and Andrew are going tux shopping this weekend. Prom is April 18 at the Century Center in South Bend. I have chaperoned...well..let's see...21 proms. I think I missed one year when I was preggers with Josh. It is absolutely amazing that my own son will now be in attendance. I do not know "after prom" plans...eek!
My mom's chemo scores were much better (as in normal) so she is back, doing her thing with the drugs. She has two red dots above each eyebrow that are considered a side effect. Nuts.
As you know, my tumor surgery back in 2001 left me with two syndromes--one is this first bite syndrome and the other, which I talk about rarely, is called Horner's Syndrome. If you see me in the afternoon my right eye is usually red and a bit droopy looking. Both first bite and Horner's Syndrome are caused by the severing of a nerve in my neck when they took out the tumor. The nerve could have possibly grown back together but hasn't. Why I am bringing this up now is that in a moment of googling addiction (I need a 12 step program for sure!) I googled both of them and for the most part, my schwannoma was listed as an underlying cause, but you guessed it, ACC was also listed. Now, the OLD me would have panicked, but the SMART me knows that surgery caused this, not the ACC or really even the schwannomma. But damn, why I am I so flippin' strange? Horner's syndrome is rare of course, but not to people who have their necks slashed open. I was thinking today that I need to slice my body in half vertically as all the bad crap is on the right side.
Tonight is a good night to feel those boobies...feel free to recruit a loved one if necessary.
Happy trails....
M
Tailbone hurts again and I have what in psychochondriacville is like a liver tumor. There. I wrote it down. Now I must move on.
Jim Brawley makes the best potato chips ever. He is a french fry freak but one day made some awesome potato chips instead and they are so yummy so I ask for them often. That's all I ate for dinner. No wonder I am so healthy.
Prom preparations are beginning. Kait and Andrew are going tux shopping this weekend. Prom is April 18 at the Century Center in South Bend. I have chaperoned...well..let's see...21 proms. I think I missed one year when I was preggers with Josh. It is absolutely amazing that my own son will now be in attendance. I do not know "after prom" plans...eek!
My mom's chemo scores were much better (as in normal) so she is back, doing her thing with the drugs. She has two red dots above each eyebrow that are considered a side effect. Nuts.
As you know, my tumor surgery back in 2001 left me with two syndromes--one is this first bite syndrome and the other, which I talk about rarely, is called Horner's Syndrome. If you see me in the afternoon my right eye is usually red and a bit droopy looking. Both first bite and Horner's Syndrome are caused by the severing of a nerve in my neck when they took out the tumor. The nerve could have possibly grown back together but hasn't. Why I am bringing this up now is that in a moment of googling addiction (I need a 12 step program for sure!) I googled both of them and for the most part, my schwannoma was listed as an underlying cause, but you guessed it, ACC was also listed. Now, the OLD me would have panicked, but the SMART me knows that surgery caused this, not the ACC or really even the schwannomma. But damn, why I am I so flippin' strange? Horner's syndrome is rare of course, but not to people who have their necks slashed open. I was thinking today that I need to slice my body in half vertically as all the bad crap is on the right side.
Tonight is a good night to feel those boobies...feel free to recruit a loved one if necessary.
Happy trails....
M
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A message from Ava Christine's mom
For my new readers, you may not know that Ava Christine Zimmerman blessed this earth for such a very short time but impacted people around the WORLD for an eternity. Her loving parents asked that I post some information about an upcoming event. I am honored to do so and to say that I think of Ava's impact on this community daily as I am sure most of you do as well.
From "Girl" Jamie:
This month Jamie, Brayden and I are doing a Walk 4 Kids fundraiser in Ann Arbor. Here is the information I took from the website:Date: March 29Time: 9:15am registration begins/walk begins at 10a.m. Location: Downtown Ann Arbor - DTE Parking lot. We invite you to join in a magical day of fitness and fun at the Ann Arbor Walk 4 Kids on March 29, 2008. It was a natural fit for four special children’s agencies in Ann Arbor to come together to Walk 4 Kids! The Make-A-Wish Foundation® of Michigan, UM Comprehensive Cancer Center, Ronald McDonald House of Ann Arbor, UM C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital and Women’s Hospital collectively make a difference. Together we can help special children in our community. There is strength in numbers and we are joining forces to make a difference for our kids.Many of you have asked us since Ava's death if there is anything you can do. Please consider sponsoring us for this walk as two of these foundations made such a difference in our lives. Even a small amount makes a difference. (By the way, I promise not to ask for handouts all the time!) You can send the money to us at 16030 Rivershore Ln in Buchanan or get it to Michelle Asmus by Friday, March 28th. If you would like to write a check you can make it out to The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
From "Girl" Jamie:
This month Jamie, Brayden and I are doing a Walk 4 Kids fundraiser in Ann Arbor. Here is the information I took from the website:Date: March 29Time: 9:15am registration begins/walk begins at 10a.m. Location: Downtown Ann Arbor - DTE Parking lot. We invite you to join in a magical day of fitness and fun at the Ann Arbor Walk 4 Kids on March 29, 2008. It was a natural fit for four special children’s agencies in Ann Arbor to come together to Walk 4 Kids! The Make-A-Wish Foundation® of Michigan, UM Comprehensive Cancer Center, Ronald McDonald House of Ann Arbor, UM C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital and Women’s Hospital collectively make a difference. Together we can help special children in our community. There is strength in numbers and we are joining forces to make a difference for our kids.Many of you have asked us since Ava's death if there is anything you can do. Please consider sponsoring us for this walk as two of these foundations made such a difference in our lives. Even a small amount makes a difference. (By the way, I promise not to ask for handouts all the time!) You can send the money to us at 16030 Rivershore Ln in Buchanan or get it to Michelle Asmus by Friday, March 28th. If you would like to write a check you can make it out to The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Today I embarrassed myself so badly at lunch I still can't stop blushing. I can't share the whole story but it involved me confessing to needing my parents to help me in the bathroom when I was about five. So that doesn't seem all that embarrassing, but I just blurted it out like I was telling people about eye color or something mundane like that. The looks on their faces STILL make me cringe. GAWD, sometimes I forget I am "Boss Man Molly" (as my friend Jenny says) and I say the DUMBEST things. Anyway, we laughed so hard we cried.
One week from today is MY testing. Still some lung/chest/asthma type pain and of course my ear and glands in my face hurt. But remember when I thought I had cancer in my hips, gut, back etc? That has pretty much resolved itself.
Everyone is at baseball freezing their cleats off. Jim is helping Coach Vota if I hadn't mentioned that before. He is so excited but that puts me in charge of dinner. Which means we are having left over steak for Josh, Spinach Salad for Skinny Jim, Asian Chicken and Rice for Andrew (out of a box) and cheesecake for me! : ) Sounds good, doesn't it.
Are you all as broke as we are? It's freaking me out a little bit. You would think with two college degrees in the house we would be smarter and spend less. And I don't feel like we spend money on stupid things but apparently we do since I am not sure where our money is. I keep telling Jim it is gas prices. He says it is eating out so much. But I like to eat out... as in "I have cancer, can't we eat out?"
Hmmm. I guess that is all!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Molly
One week from today is MY testing. Still some lung/chest/asthma type pain and of course my ear and glands in my face hurt. But remember when I thought I had cancer in my hips, gut, back etc? That has pretty much resolved itself.
Everyone is at baseball freezing their cleats off. Jim is helping Coach Vota if I hadn't mentioned that before. He is so excited but that puts me in charge of dinner. Which means we are having left over steak for Josh, Spinach Salad for Skinny Jim, Asian Chicken and Rice for Andrew (out of a box) and cheesecake for me! : ) Sounds good, doesn't it.
Are you all as broke as we are? It's freaking me out a little bit. You would think with two college degrees in the house we would be smarter and spend less. And I don't feel like we spend money on stupid things but apparently we do since I am not sure where our money is. I keep telling Jim it is gas prices. He says it is eating out so much. But I like to eat out... as in "I have cancer, can't we eat out?"
Hmmm. I guess that is all!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Molly
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Community efforts
Feeling worried today...I have this spot behind my new boob that aches...could be muscle pain, could be asthma type symptoms (I keep sneezing), but is just a pinpointed pain...and of course I think tumor. Ok, I feel better now that I have typed that.
What a beautiful sunny day. The frost on the ground is a bummer, but at least the sun is here. We colored Easter Eggs yesterday at John and Ginger's; Bill, Robyn and Lizzie were in town--they are on their way to Holland, Mi for another Young American's tour--they just got back from Australia. Andrew missed out the festivities as he was sleeping from an early 6 AM baseball practice (parents love that as we get our kids home earlier!) but everyone else was there for the most part, so it was its usual craziness. The younger Brawley off shoots are so darn funny. Today, we are all having brunch so once again, I don't have to cook...well, breakfast anyway!
I forgot to tell you all that my mom couldn't do chemo for the last two weeks because her white count was not where it needed to be...doc was not worried at all...just says the chemo is working...but he doesn't want her to get an infection. She says she feels fine, but I haven't seen her. I hope to go up there over Spring break, but if I am honest, I am scared to think about Spring Break as I am afraid Dr.Ansari will find lots of bad things at my March 31 appointment. I am glad my break is pretty much after that appointment--if it's bad, it's bad, but if (WHEN) it is good, I will really be able to relax and enjoy the time off.
Andrew has a baseball game in less than a week. I will be shocked if he actually gets to play it. Not sure why they schedule them so early, but the season is a short one as it is. But who knows with Michigan weather--it might be 70 degrees!
As you may or may not know, a teacher here in Niles was on Oprah's GIVE BIG show and recently completed his "mission" of raising money for a needy cause. He chose a family here in Niles who was in financial trouble because of the death of the father by suicide, and their 10 year old daughter who suffered from a rare illness that requires much travel and drugs, etc. The premise of GIVE BIG is to raise as much money as you can in one week--this teacher, and this small community of Niles--raised $60,000 for this family. Is that not amazing?? I was so proud that the high school raised $2600 at our "throwback carnival" (cotton candy was the biggest seller, along with the cake walk). It warms my heart that this community can do that. Doesn't surprise me, though--I see it all the time.
Testing went well. This junior class is sooooo good. Not sure how smart they are but they sure are well behaved! : ) The testing is just so tense--I hate to see the worry on the kids' faces...especially some of our Special Education kids who know their 4th grade reading level is certainly a detriment. But it is over.
Ginger finished Pillars of the Earth--it's off to Aunt Georgia and then I plan to read it as soon as I finish the book I am reading now. I keep reading these quick reads so I haven't gotten to it yet. Ginger said it was incredible.
Laundry day. Nothing else to report in this domestic life of mine!
Molly
What a beautiful sunny day. The frost on the ground is a bummer, but at least the sun is here. We colored Easter Eggs yesterday at John and Ginger's; Bill, Robyn and Lizzie were in town--they are on their way to Holland, Mi for another Young American's tour--they just got back from Australia. Andrew missed out the festivities as he was sleeping from an early 6 AM baseball practice (parents love that as we get our kids home earlier!) but everyone else was there for the most part, so it was its usual craziness. The younger Brawley off shoots are so darn funny. Today, we are all having brunch so once again, I don't have to cook...well, breakfast anyway!
I forgot to tell you all that my mom couldn't do chemo for the last two weeks because her white count was not where it needed to be...doc was not worried at all...just says the chemo is working...but he doesn't want her to get an infection. She says she feels fine, but I haven't seen her. I hope to go up there over Spring break, but if I am honest, I am scared to think about Spring Break as I am afraid Dr.Ansari will find lots of bad things at my March 31 appointment. I am glad my break is pretty much after that appointment--if it's bad, it's bad, but if (WHEN) it is good, I will really be able to relax and enjoy the time off.
Andrew has a baseball game in less than a week. I will be shocked if he actually gets to play it. Not sure why they schedule them so early, but the season is a short one as it is. But who knows with Michigan weather--it might be 70 degrees!
As you may or may not know, a teacher here in Niles was on Oprah's GIVE BIG show and recently completed his "mission" of raising money for a needy cause. He chose a family here in Niles who was in financial trouble because of the death of the father by suicide, and their 10 year old daughter who suffered from a rare illness that requires much travel and drugs, etc. The premise of GIVE BIG is to raise as much money as you can in one week--this teacher, and this small community of Niles--raised $60,000 for this family. Is that not amazing?? I was so proud that the high school raised $2600 at our "throwback carnival" (cotton candy was the biggest seller, along with the cake walk). It warms my heart that this community can do that. Doesn't surprise me, though--I see it all the time.
Testing went well. This junior class is sooooo good. Not sure how smart they are but they sure are well behaved! : ) The testing is just so tense--I hate to see the worry on the kids' faces...especially some of our Special Education kids who know their 4th grade reading level is certainly a detriment. But it is over.
Ginger finished Pillars of the Earth--it's off to Aunt Georgia and then I plan to read it as soon as I finish the book I am reading now. I keep reading these quick reads so I haven't gotten to it yet. Ginger said it was incredible.
Laundry day. Nothing else to report in this domestic life of mine!
Molly
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Still need to "settle"
'allo--
This is a quickie.
Testing went very, very well thanks to awesome teachers. When I arrived back from my doctor's appointment, I saw a car parked in front of the school that had the State Department of Education placard on its side...uh oh...
So I find the other principals and learn that we were picked to "monitor" (randomly they say) so we had a guy with a clipboard going from room to room making sure desks were three feet apart, kids had no water bottles and the appropriate calculators, etc. It had to be absolutely nerve BUSTING for those teachers...but, guess what? NO ERRORS! We passed with flying colors and around 1:00 all kids were done.
Andrew did NOT seem as confident coming out as he did going in...I hate when he says "I did alright"...that means bad usually. He did say he felt best about science. Hmmm. We shall see. Tomorrow/Thursday is two easier tests and then a regular school day. All the juniors get school off Friday for their efforts. Andrew is planning to hang out with his girlfriend and hit the mall. Josh has to go to school but had today off.
Dr. M's visit was once again uneventful. We need two more months to "settle". In the next two months I have to decide on if I want a nipple and if I want him to make Mr. Pizza Pocket to LOOK better or to FEEL better. I think if it looks better it will feel better. It's almost like having something under your armpit--ooops, I don't say armpit--I say axillary area, remember?
Also had the toofers cleaned today. Nothing too exciting there...when you have cancer, even a trip to the dentist is a victory. As you know I examine my mouth for salivary gland bumps about every time I look in the mirror. Dr. Lisa says teeth are good and healthy.
Hi Ed. Ed is my friend I went to college with who said he is reading my blog. I think he is probably just looking at the pictures so this is a test. Ed was, and continues to be, one of the funniest people I have ever met. So there you go Ed, props to you!
Mike I., I love hearing from you. Remember all our lounge chats? Me being paranoid about everything and you saying RELAX. We still laugh about lunches, etc. Some things never change.
I do like my male readers but have to remind myself not to get too specific about nipples and saggy boobs. (ah, that is so NOT true...don't care who reads about them...or even sees them for that matter!)
Going to make some soup. Only Shade and I are here for dinner. She is having this really yummy dish called PURINA DOG CHOW, and I am having Italian Wedding Soup and long grain rice.
Love to all--
Molly
This is a quickie.
Testing went very, very well thanks to awesome teachers. When I arrived back from my doctor's appointment, I saw a car parked in front of the school that had the State Department of Education placard on its side...uh oh...
So I find the other principals and learn that we were picked to "monitor" (randomly they say) so we had a guy with a clipboard going from room to room making sure desks were three feet apart, kids had no water bottles and the appropriate calculators, etc. It had to be absolutely nerve BUSTING for those teachers...but, guess what? NO ERRORS! We passed with flying colors and around 1:00 all kids were done.
Andrew did NOT seem as confident coming out as he did going in...I hate when he says "I did alright"...that means bad usually. He did say he felt best about science. Hmmm. We shall see. Tomorrow/Thursday is two easier tests and then a regular school day. All the juniors get school off Friday for their efforts. Andrew is planning to hang out with his girlfriend and hit the mall. Josh has to go to school but had today off.
Dr. M's visit was once again uneventful. We need two more months to "settle". In the next two months I have to decide on if I want a nipple and if I want him to make Mr. Pizza Pocket to LOOK better or to FEEL better. I think if it looks better it will feel better. It's almost like having something under your armpit--ooops, I don't say armpit--I say axillary area, remember?
Also had the toofers cleaned today. Nothing too exciting there...when you have cancer, even a trip to the dentist is a victory. As you know I examine my mouth for salivary gland bumps about every time I look in the mirror. Dr. Lisa says teeth are good and healthy.
Hi Ed. Ed is my friend I went to college with who said he is reading my blog. I think he is probably just looking at the pictures so this is a test. Ed was, and continues to be, one of the funniest people I have ever met. So there you go Ed, props to you!
Mike I., I love hearing from you. Remember all our lounge chats? Me being paranoid about everything and you saying RELAX. We still laugh about lunches, etc. Some things never change.
I do like my male readers but have to remind myself not to get too specific about nipples and saggy boobs. (ah, that is so NOT true...don't care who reads about them...or even sees them for that matter!)
Going to make some soup. Only Shade and I are here for dinner. She is having this really yummy dish called PURINA DOG CHOW, and I am having Italian Wedding Soup and long grain rice.
Love to all--
Molly
Monday, March 10, 2008
$4000 at stake
Don't you just love a job that is so busy you have no idea what time it is and then it is time to go home? ENOUGH ALREADY. Week #2 of craziness started today. Checked a kid for lice (she was clean) stopped a minor fight and inadvertently got hit in Boobie (she didn't pop, thank goodness) But had fun watching all of our kids who did well this weekend...Kenyon won state...Taylor Robson won Mr. Blossomtime...our cheerleaders took first in a national competition (although Andrew tells me they were the only team in their division???) and we had three students who won state for FFA. Cool beans. Minor things like lice quickly disappear. ( I am the resident lice checker...the other AP is terrified and won't touch it! Lice is no big deal checking it, especially at the secondary level, where were rarely have it) Just another day in paradise.
Made meatloaf for dinner. Both boys are at baseball tryouts. Josh is so gosh darn excited he couldn't contain himself this morning. Josh does not have the exposure that Andrew has had in terms of number of games and competition played, and obviously needs to grow, but he is pretty good too! Andrew, for the past hour, was showing his swing to his dad...nothing like walking through the house dodging a metal baseball bat!
Tomorrow is the big STATE testing, starting with the ACT. I remember taking the ACT on a Saturday morning, the night after homecoming, and not caring two hoots about it...and I was an honors student! I truly think we have prepared the kids as much as possible, but who knows. I keep telling Andrew to predict his opponents' arguments in the writing part of the Merit Exam...I have told him so many times I think he wants to shoot me. He is NOT a good test taker but says he feels confident, particularly about math--which scares me since his PSAT math score was lower than we expected as is his pre-calculus grade...nerve racking! I know Andrew can get into a state school, and that is fine by us, but in case you didn't know it, in Michigan, you can get $4000 if you meet certain standards on the test. Money for college, of course. So I want the $4000! : ) Josh actually gets the day off.
I see Dr. Messinger tomorrow. I wonder if Boobie has "settled" enough? Wonder if yet another surgery is in my future? I really don't know what to expect. And again, March 24 is mammo and chest x--ray. I am scared of course.
All for now...need to mash the potatoes. House is quiet with both boys gone. I am sure Jim and Shade are snoozing on the couch.
Over and out.
M.
Made meatloaf for dinner. Both boys are at baseball tryouts. Josh is so gosh darn excited he couldn't contain himself this morning. Josh does not have the exposure that Andrew has had in terms of number of games and competition played, and obviously needs to grow, but he is pretty good too! Andrew, for the past hour, was showing his swing to his dad...nothing like walking through the house dodging a metal baseball bat!
Tomorrow is the big STATE testing, starting with the ACT. I remember taking the ACT on a Saturday morning, the night after homecoming, and not caring two hoots about it...and I was an honors student! I truly think we have prepared the kids as much as possible, but who knows. I keep telling Andrew to predict his opponents' arguments in the writing part of the Merit Exam...I have told him so many times I think he wants to shoot me. He is NOT a good test taker but says he feels confident, particularly about math--which scares me since his PSAT math score was lower than we expected as is his pre-calculus grade...nerve racking! I know Andrew can get into a state school, and that is fine by us, but in case you didn't know it, in Michigan, you can get $4000 if you meet certain standards on the test. Money for college, of course. So I want the $4000! : ) Josh actually gets the day off.
I see Dr. Messinger tomorrow. I wonder if Boobie has "settled" enough? Wonder if yet another surgery is in my future? I really don't know what to expect. And again, March 24 is mammo and chest x--ray. I am scared of course.
All for now...need to mash the potatoes. House is quiet with both boys gone. I am sure Jim and Shade are snoozing on the couch.
Over and out.
M.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
We have a State Champion!
Kenyon Ellison won the Wrestling Michigan State Championship at 285 pounds today. He defeated his opponent 4-1! WAHOO! Congrats Kenyon, you make NHS proud!
Sloppy Joe Spaghetti
Thank goodness the craziest week of the year is over...Friday came and by 3:00 p.m. I was almost asleep at my desk. I was out of there by 3:10 and asleep on the couch by 3:45...woke up at 6:00--Jim and I watched two good movies--Fracture and Babel--and then I was asleep by 11:00, with BOTH kids home, sleeping as well. A wonderful Friday night. We even had popcorn!
Babel was very interesting. I remember it was a Best Picture nominee but knew nothing else about it. It reminded me of Crash with an international flair. Fracture was a repeat for Jim--he watched it on the plane while we were grounded at Logan International-- while I talked that doctor's ear off about my cancer--remember that? It makes me smile thinking about it! (Josh said he could hear me talking so loud--he would hear "pain in boob" "doctor says I have large breasts so lumpectomy should have been ok" etc. ) You know me, not too shy about the mamms!
Today was a car wash day. I think I am Hot $%^# driving around in my clean black Malibu. Not to be braggin', but DANG, I have a lot of people comment on that car. Rather strange. And like I said, I think I am just too cool in it. (can 45 year- old overweight, saggy boobed assistant principal be cool??) HA!
Oh! I have forgotten to say...March 22 will not work for me for the Chicago or Bust trip. Andrew has a baseball tournament, believe it or not. I know you are thinking "miss a damn tournament chickie poo", but I just can't. And with my luck it will get canceled anyway...but if he does play, I want to be there. With Josh playing freshmen ball, I will have to split my time anyway, so this way I can see Andrew play. He is working so hard...Jim says he is hitting the ball very well and has been having this guy named Tex who throws HARD come and throw to Andrew and Dan Hollland. They are finally getting that curveball down. Can't wait for baseball!
Yes, I cooked today. Mind you, it was just sloppy joes. I have craved them for about three weeks and last week Jim decided to make some but he is on this "use every thing in the 'fridge and pantry before we buy more food" kick and we ended up with what tasted like spaghetti sauce sloppy joes with bbq sauce thrown in for good measure. So, that was somewhat disappointing for my craving. And then, since most of us didn't eat those 'joes, he made spaghetti sauce out of it and yes, we had spaghetti that tasted like sloppy joes. But I can't really complain since he is cooking, right? Then he made what he called venison stroganoff, which was actually venison alfredo because he found some alfredo sauce deep in the caverns of the pantry. So that wasn't very good either. (he does not read my blog so I can complain here) I of course try to be polite but the kids tell him straight up "yuk, what is this???" ... Anyway, I made "normal" sloppy joes today and also made him his favorite, favorite thing, cheesecake. Cheesecake is actually very easy to make--I follow a recipe from the Food Network from Tyler's Ultimate shows and this cheesecake IS really yummy. It's just your traditional cheesecake--my favorite--but Jim always puts fresh strawberries on his. It is baking right now, but then has to cool for 4 hours.
I keep checking the Michigan High School Athletic Association website because we have a senior who is wrestling for the state championship today. He is a heavyweight and came in 5th last year...it has been many years since Niles has had a wrestling champion--it would be so awesome if he were to win. Even second place is remarkable! We had two other wrestlers go as well but neither placed...but we are very proud of them.
Shade and Jim went for a walk in Zech's woods--looking for deer antlers (called "Sheds" because the deer shed them.) Shade is attached to the hip to Jim--loves him as much as I do.
Hope all is well with all of you. I have my worries of course but am just tired of thinking about them.
Until next time.
Molly
Babel was very interesting. I remember it was a Best Picture nominee but knew nothing else about it. It reminded me of Crash with an international flair. Fracture was a repeat for Jim--he watched it on the plane while we were grounded at Logan International-- while I talked that doctor's ear off about my cancer--remember that? It makes me smile thinking about it! (Josh said he could hear me talking so loud--he would hear "pain in boob" "doctor says I have large breasts so lumpectomy should have been ok" etc. ) You know me, not too shy about the mamms!
Today was a car wash day. I think I am Hot $%^# driving around in my clean black Malibu. Not to be braggin', but DANG, I have a lot of people comment on that car. Rather strange. And like I said, I think I am just too cool in it. (can 45 year- old overweight, saggy boobed assistant principal be cool??) HA!
Oh! I have forgotten to say...March 22 will not work for me for the Chicago or Bust trip. Andrew has a baseball tournament, believe it or not. I know you are thinking "miss a damn tournament chickie poo", but I just can't. And with my luck it will get canceled anyway...but if he does play, I want to be there. With Josh playing freshmen ball, I will have to split my time anyway, so this way I can see Andrew play. He is working so hard...Jim says he is hitting the ball very well and has been having this guy named Tex who throws HARD come and throw to Andrew and Dan Hollland. They are finally getting that curveball down. Can't wait for baseball!
Yes, I cooked today. Mind you, it was just sloppy joes. I have craved them for about three weeks and last week Jim decided to make some but he is on this "use every thing in the 'fridge and pantry before we buy more food" kick and we ended up with what tasted like spaghetti sauce sloppy joes with bbq sauce thrown in for good measure. So, that was somewhat disappointing for my craving. And then, since most of us didn't eat those 'joes, he made spaghetti sauce out of it and yes, we had spaghetti that tasted like sloppy joes. But I can't really complain since he is cooking, right? Then he made what he called venison stroganoff, which was actually venison alfredo because he found some alfredo sauce deep in the caverns of the pantry. So that wasn't very good either. (he does not read my blog so I can complain here) I of course try to be polite but the kids tell him straight up "yuk, what is this???" ... Anyway, I made "normal" sloppy joes today and also made him his favorite, favorite thing, cheesecake. Cheesecake is actually very easy to make--I follow a recipe from the Food Network from Tyler's Ultimate shows and this cheesecake IS really yummy. It's just your traditional cheesecake--my favorite--but Jim always puts fresh strawberries on his. It is baking right now, but then has to cool for 4 hours.
I keep checking the Michigan High School Athletic Association website because we have a senior who is wrestling for the state championship today. He is a heavyweight and came in 5th last year...it has been many years since Niles has had a wrestling champion--it would be so awesome if he were to win. Even second place is remarkable! We had two other wrestlers go as well but neither placed...but we are very proud of them.
Shade and Jim went for a walk in Zech's woods--looking for deer antlers (called "Sheds" because the deer shed them.) Shade is attached to the hip to Jim--loves him as much as I do.
Hope all is well with all of you. I have my worries of course but am just tired of thinking about them.
Until next time.
Molly
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Putting out fires--literally.
Toilets set on fire. My life as an administrator--never a dull moment. Yes, someone set a toilet on fire today in the boy's restroom. The toilet is not worth a crap anymore. (SOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry, but I couldn't resist) Caused lots of excited kids. Now there is a big ol' sign plastered on the door offering up to $5000 reward for the arsonist. We will get the person I am sure.
Jim pulled a calf muscle trying to be Michael Jordan the other night. He is walking around upstairs like Fred Munster----drag, shuffle, drag, shuffle. Poor guy can't walk. Love him.
My mom is still kicking cancer's booty--not having any issues with her chemo so she says. She does have this awful problem with her fingers "splitting" in the winter time so the chemo nurses got her some good cream called "Nu skin" or something like that and she loves it. She swears it is not from chemo but it sounds pretty bad. She is the oldest person at her chemo sessions. Everyone else was under 50.
Work has been insane. I am still not sleeping all that well and need every minute. I know I should be over this whole surgery thing but want to sleep in like crazy. Tomorrow is Breakfast of Champions--Josh got a 4.0 so he gets to go (don't ask about Andrew) so we have to get up even EARLIER than our normal 6:15.
On that note, I should go to bed. Sorry so short and boring. Oh, please add Ron O to your prayer list. Ron was diagnosed with colon cancer (STage III) His wife Sandy is a secretary at Northside and they are just super people. Ron is a tough nut so I bet he will fight this like crazy!
Hugs to all of you...
Molly
Jim pulled a calf muscle trying to be Michael Jordan the other night. He is walking around upstairs like Fred Munster----drag, shuffle, drag, shuffle. Poor guy can't walk. Love him.
My mom is still kicking cancer's booty--not having any issues with her chemo so she says. She does have this awful problem with her fingers "splitting" in the winter time so the chemo nurses got her some good cream called "Nu skin" or something like that and she loves it. She swears it is not from chemo but it sounds pretty bad. She is the oldest person at her chemo sessions. Everyone else was under 50.
Work has been insane. I am still not sleeping all that well and need every minute. I know I should be over this whole surgery thing but want to sleep in like crazy. Tomorrow is Breakfast of Champions--Josh got a 4.0 so he gets to go (don't ask about Andrew) so we have to get up even EARLIER than our normal 6:15.
On that note, I should go to bed. Sorry so short and boring. Oh, please add Ron O to your prayer list. Ron was diagnosed with colon cancer (STage III) His wife Sandy is a secretary at Northside and they are just super people. Ron is a tough nut so I bet he will fight this like crazy!
Hugs to all of you...
Molly
Sunday, March 2, 2008
March madness
It's been an entire week that I have not blogged.
As you all know, I am a member of the Yahoo Breast Cancer Support Group--which basically means I get emails everyday from women all over the world who have/had breast cancer...we ask zillions of questions, tell our tales, answer questions for newbies, etc., and generally feel like sisters in this crazy world of a cancer diagnosis. Last week, we all received word from Loraine's son that she had passed away. That email sent most of us reeling because less than a month ago she was this vibrant, helpful, wise soul giving all of us hope, advice, and support. I didn't even know she was Stage 4...anyway, it brought home the reality of this. It WILL kill many women.
But I remain hopeful, I really do.
March is my milestone month. On March 24 I have a round of tests--mammo and chest xray--and then I see Dr. Ansari March 31. Believe it or not, I am not good at waiting for things (Major understatement) and this month will be awful as we move closer. I don't worry about the mammo as much as I do the chest xray. I do see Dr. M, my plastic surgeon, again on March 11 to discuss Mr. Pizza Pocket. I just hope if all my scans are clear that I can try to not worry so much for the next 6 months.
Last night we went to see our high school musical Brigadoon, which was nicely done. Best part of the evening was dinner out with Josh. This is the first year Andrew did not go with us since he was five years old. He went to the matinee today with his girlfriend.
The melting snow and somewhat sunny skies were such a nice perk today. However, our basement is leaking from all the melting. I don't realize how much I want to spring and warmth to be here until days like today. Jim has already watched 3 Cubs games on t.v.--too bad they are losing as usual.
I really need to call my mom to see how she is doing. She had her third chemo this week and I haven't checked in yet. My sister is now home from Hawaii so that will make both my parents happy.
March is also going to be a very busy month for me, as we (Niles High) are adopting a new computer software program for all of our student information systems, which includes scheduling, of which I am in charge. I am excited about the process but get anxious about not being able to get the rest of my job done...like teacher evaluations that are also due this month. I plan to get into classrooms this week...and then next week is the ACT and Michigan Merit Exam. ARGGHHHHHHHHHHH. Luckily, I am not in charge of that! : )
TTFN...it is only 6:30 but I am ready for my jammies. Only one more load of wash to do and cleaning the kitchen.
Molly
As you all know, I am a member of the Yahoo Breast Cancer Support Group--which basically means I get emails everyday from women all over the world who have/had breast cancer...we ask zillions of questions, tell our tales, answer questions for newbies, etc., and generally feel like sisters in this crazy world of a cancer diagnosis. Last week, we all received word from Loraine's son that she had passed away. That email sent most of us reeling because less than a month ago she was this vibrant, helpful, wise soul giving all of us hope, advice, and support. I didn't even know she was Stage 4...anyway, it brought home the reality of this. It WILL kill many women.
But I remain hopeful, I really do.
March is my milestone month. On March 24 I have a round of tests--mammo and chest xray--and then I see Dr. Ansari March 31. Believe it or not, I am not good at waiting for things (Major understatement) and this month will be awful as we move closer. I don't worry about the mammo as much as I do the chest xray. I do see Dr. M, my plastic surgeon, again on March 11 to discuss Mr. Pizza Pocket. I just hope if all my scans are clear that I can try to not worry so much for the next 6 months.
Last night we went to see our high school musical Brigadoon, which was nicely done. Best part of the evening was dinner out with Josh. This is the first year Andrew did not go with us since he was five years old. He went to the matinee today with his girlfriend.
The melting snow and somewhat sunny skies were such a nice perk today. However, our basement is leaking from all the melting. I don't realize how much I want to spring and warmth to be here until days like today. Jim has already watched 3 Cubs games on t.v.--too bad they are losing as usual.
I really need to call my mom to see how she is doing. She had her third chemo this week and I haven't checked in yet. My sister is now home from Hawaii so that will make both my parents happy.
March is also going to be a very busy month for me, as we (Niles High) are adopting a new computer software program for all of our student information systems, which includes scheduling, of which I am in charge. I am excited about the process but get anxious about not being able to get the rest of my job done...like teacher evaluations that are also due this month. I plan to get into classrooms this week...and then next week is the ACT and Michigan Merit Exam. ARGGHHHHHHHHHHH. Luckily, I am not in charge of that! : )
TTFN...it is only 6:30 but I am ready for my jammies. Only one more load of wash to do and cleaning the kitchen.
Molly
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