I hate this week.

I know what you are going to say, but I just don't want to.

Yup, no pap results yet in the mail. Doctor said he would hope to get a letter in the mail to me by the end of LAST week. I had told him I wanted nothing but "normal" results. I know I should call--and I will after tomorrow--because Andrew has a physical on Thursday anyway. But dang, what does it mean? I googled pap test results to see if there was something that would indicate that abnormal tests took longer to discern (my breast biopsy went longer-- to use different stains to see what was happening) but I found nothing that said that, EXCEPT that it said pap results can take up to three weeks. Well, I happen to know that NORMAL results don't take that long --I've always had normal results--and it seemed like it took a week or so. Heavy sigh.

I then googled ACC of the cervix and that was enough to put me over the edge. But there wasn't much to suggest it was anything but a primary site, so I guess that is good. ACC is an awful cancer.

Speaking of that, Prudence, also known as Pru, passed away this weekend. Pru was the moderator of the ACC website that I found and have used almost daily throughout my journey. She had ACC salivary gland with mets to the brain being what ended up killing her. We are all so sad. I giggle thinking about her because she had a lot of rules for using the site--very SMART rules I would guess--she didn't like any of us just posting to say thank you, or good luck on your tests, that type of thing. She wanted it all factual, question based, and answered based. A few times I felt like I got in trouble when I would post and she would answer but gosh, she was a fountain of knowledge and moderated the ACC site without compensation for many years. She will be so missed and when I participate in Relay for Life soon I will be thinking of all she has done for us fledgling ACC newbies out here. I was so sad last night for a woman I never met.

Jamie Z, thanks for your comments. We both need to go out and get drunk and cry. : ) But we won't--we will be responsible and suck it up and get up, each day. That is our only option. We have lots to do in this world still and people need us.

This is the same week I was waiting for my results of my breast biopsy last year. I had it done on Monday and found out Thursday morning. No wonder I am a mess.

Wow, this is a pretty downer blog. I do have a funny story from camping--at least I think it is funny. Camping the first night was really hot that we even had a fan running outside. Well, the fan went into the tent that two kids were sleeping in and in the morning, the kids found a three legged frog in the fan's box. Outside the box was the fourth leg.

That just made me crack up.

Time to go tackle the world and try not to puke from nerves. I am about to swear off all tests, I really mean it. But then I am not sure my docs would give me drugs and lord knows, i need those. (I am really just kidding about the drugs...I do have my bottle of Xanax and may have to take one today, but in general, I am ok without them)

Love, love, love--

Molly