Relay was a major emotional experience at times, and then lots of laughs too. Jim and I were sort of late to the survivor's dinner and didn't get to register--thus, no survivor t-shirt. Then I had to walk the survivor's lap alone...well, without Jim, as I think there were almost 200 survivors walking that lap. I found Debbie and hung with her; I had already cried earlier and looked like crap but at least there were sun glasses! Dinner was good...we had our own area and Jim and I just chatted...then we went to hang with the high school team until the luminary bag ceremony. A few survivors spoke and everyone was so positive that I felt BAD about being such a worrier. The HOPE bags were lit in the visitor's bleachers and they played this song that literally brought me to quiet sobs...Jim just held me and squeezed my shoulders. It was very cool when they changed the HOPE bags to read CURE...we had some laughs about that later as we couldn't figure out what they were going to spell next...I thought it was COPE, and then HORE, so that at least made me giggle. When it was obvious it was CURE, the tears came again. After that ceremony though, I just hung with some really nice high school kids and Carrie and Jenny, two of my colleagues, and I think I laughed the rest of the night. Josh and I headed home at exactly 3 A.M.--and we slept until noon! : ) Such a cool, but draining experience. Jenny and Michelle were amzing, and thanks Michelle for remembering to get me a shirt. You had so many other things to do and you remembered that. It meant a lot.
Today Jim told me when I got up that I just need to "live my life" and try not to be bothered my anything. I joked and said 'easy for you to say' and he said, "no, actually, it's NOT." which made me realize that my worries brings others down so I need to really, really work on that. I am LIVING my life but I know me...every ache and pain is terrifying.
But you know, there is always HOPE and I do really, really, really believe that. So with that, I need to go and live my Sunday with my laundry machines. : )