Only I can be so complicated.

Ok--there is a 1 cm nodule in the upper right lobe of my lung--Dr. Ansari is 95 percent sure it is the same nodule that was found in my PET/CT scan in July that is thought to be a "granuloma", which is basically scar tissue. (I am pretty sure I have had the granuloma for years--I remember when Dr. Stanley found it when Josh was just a toddler. I think she said it was caused by scarring from bronchitis type stuff)

Anyway, the nodule is in the same spot (upper right lobe) but to be sure, Dr. Ansari ordered a chest CT with dye, which I had today right in the same office. He said he would know the results either later today or tomorrow and that he would call me, but if I hadn't heard from him, I should call him tomorrow around 1:00. (I will run around naked if he actually calls me--no one ever does that so I am sure I will have to call there) When I told the tech who did the CT that Dr. Ansari wanted the results right away he seemed rather surprised but asked the other tech if there was a stat order on it --I didn't hear what he said but assumed he said yes because the tech said "ok." But who knows, the other tech probably shook his head no, like I was just another crazed cancer paranoid witch! : ) With my luck, they won't know tomorrow as it is! : (

But this is what is keeping me from freaking out: On every chest x-ray I have had in the last 10 years a nodule has shown up--and on this most recent x-ray, it is the ONLY thing (unless Dr. Ansari did not tell me) showing up, so it has to be the same thing, right??? I just don't remember it being 1 cm--but back in the day, 1 cm was SMALL to me so maybe I am not remembering correctly. 1 cm seems huges now to me now that I know what cm means. UGH.

The other thing that relaxed me just a bit was there was just one nodule at all. If ACC is aggressive, often times numerous lesions or nodules appear, so if worst case scenario comes to fruition, at least there is one for now.

But again, I am just praying it is the original granuloma. Dr. A said he believes 95 percent that is what it is, but wanted a "Chest CT with Dye" as a baseline anyway, as "this thing will continue to show up and he will at least know what he is dealing with." So I would guess that if it were to grow, we would know we have issues. I wanted him to just call and ask to see my other chest x-rays but he seemed pretty adament about gettting the chest CT as it shows better I guess. Sigh.

So, there you have it. Not GREAT news but not devastating news either. I guess when a doctor tells me 95 percent sure it is nothing most of us would believe him, but Miss RAREISMYFRICKINGMIDDLENAME doesn't trust any percents when applied to me. But deep down, I think I will be able to sleep tonight.

The rest of the appointment was fine--all my bloodwork was "normal." Hell, I don't even know what he was looking for. Secondly, I do not have to see him until September and that is after an MRI of my GOOD BREAST. I thought it would be of the bad breast, but he said no, there is nothing to image there--it would be looking for something in the "ocean when it was dark". That surprised me and I will have to check with my BC sisters if this is protocol. The lady who scheduled me for the MRI said that with reconstruction, they don't image it. But I still don't know how they would catch a recurrence, unless it is just with a lump or something. So, on the first day of school next year I have an MRI, and then two days later see Dr. A. Won't Jim Knoll love me for getting out of the first day of school? : ) Luckily, he is a great boss and always lets me take care of my boobs when needed.

So, with the moment of chaos concerning the nodule, I asked no other questions, like should I have a colonoscopy, why does my rib/liver/fat on my side hurt, why does my hip hurt, why am I a hypochondriac, was my tumor an aggressive kind, yada yada. But perhaps the fact he doesn't want to see me until September should tell me not to worry about those things. I also know that Sharon, the ACC/breast guru, says that with ACC, until symptoms are present, LIVE YOUR LIFE.

TTFN. If Dr. Ansari's office calls watch out for the fat lady running down Grant Street butt naked.

Molly