Tuesday, September 11, 2007

9/11 and Beanie Babies

Today is 9/11. Six years ago was a day I promised I personally would never forget. I worried that our country would forget and we would continue on, not appreciating how lucky we are in the US. I still get weepy thinking about that day and thank the heavens I live here. Enough on that.



I was thinking about the day I was told I had "adenoid cystic carcinoma of the breast"--July 19--and all the things I have done since then. I watched countless baseball games, traveled to Maine via Boston, heard my son tell about his hole in one, took my dog to the vet, went camping, had dinner on the patio, did laundry, got my hair cut, worked with new teachers, helped a parent or two...you know the drill. Normal, everyday life stuff.

That is all possible even if you have cancer. Prior to July 19 I wouldn't have predicted that I could handle such a diagnosis. I really thought I would curl up and stop living with such bad news. But it didn't happen. I hope that helps anyone else who might have to face something like this. As they say, if I can do, ANYONE CAN!

Enough philosophizing. Last night my blessed little black lab was struggling with not being allowed in bed with us. She started by bringing me a dirty sock of Andrew's. She thinks it is her job to "retrieve" socks--she missed the chapter on ducks in Labarodor retriever school--so she always brings socks. So last night she brings me a sock. Didn't work--I won't let her on the bed. Then she brings me a PAIR of socks that she must have taken out of a laundry basket. That didn't work either, although she looked pretty sappy with them hanging out of her mouth. Finally, about two hours later I am up emptying my drain and just when I get back in bed she is standing there--mouth full. In her mouth, she has gently placed my Breast Cancer Beanie Baby bear with the pink ribbons. Gosh darn it! She looked so sweet, but I still told her no and got her to lay next to me. But when I woke up this morning she was curled up in a tight little ball on the very corner of the bed. She has been very good and seems to sense I am hurting. I am glad she is here keeping me company.

Going to Dr. Nancy tomorrow with Aunt Nancy (Brawley). I hope they take the drain out, although it seems to be putting out too much stuff. It has to be less than 30 CC of fluid in a 24 hour period and I still have more than that. But we shall see. It will be interesting trying to put real clothes on. My pajamas have been the fashion statement of the week! Hair still looks like a brushed out afro on crack but I still plan on having Jim give me the shampoo tonight. He did a very nice job last night. I call him"James" when he is my stylist! : )


Ginger will be home a week from Friday. That is good news for me--probably not so good for her--but at least we will laugh.

Time to lay down for awhile.

Molly

2 comments:

Jen said...

I love the Beanie Baby story, you know. How funny that she curled up on the corner of the bed. Poor girl...her life has changed, too! Our sweet dogs have a sixth sense and know when we are troubled...I've even seen reports that indicate dogs can "detect" cancer in some people. How crazy is that!?

Glad you are feeling well and looking forward to a report on your appointment tomorrow. More importantly, looking forward to your return to the office!!!!

Miss ya!
Jen

Sue Phillips said...

Molly -
Just wanted you to know how much I admire you for your strenght, candor and humor. You are truly a remarkable woman and an inspiration! Please let me know it there's anything I can do for you or your family. I pray for your healing and perserverance and for strenght for you and your family to get through this ordeal that you have been dealing with for so long now.
Love to you all!