I feel like I am among the living these days, which is such a good feeling. We went to a family birthday party today (Emerson is 1! Happy Birthday Emme!) and when we came home I really needed to lay down, but only needed about 10 minutes and now I am up again. So that is getting better. I even went to Walmart but when I came home that shower was calling me--and my pj's.
Went to the game last night with about 10 layers of clothes on. I used gauze to stuff the right side of my bra (I really needed a tissue during the windy game andt forgot about my secret stash!) and wore a few shirts and no one was the wiser. But honestly, today I have gone bra less as I don't really need one and it hurts sort of to wear one. When I got home from the game I was really sore--it felt like I had a really bad underwire bra on--so I took my Darvocet and went to bed. I have been having some really wierd muscle twitches during the night, which I notice as I fall asleep and last night Jim woke me up thinking something was wrong. I feel fine, but I have twitches all over my body about every 30 seconds. So today I googled "Darvocet side effects", and sure enough muscle twitching and sweating are two on the "less common" side effect...and as Josh says "uncommon" is my middle name... Needless to say, I am going to try strictly Tylenol from now on.
I had Jim check out my incisions--I have six of them if you count my sentinel node incision and the worst one is the one under the reduced breast, as it goes all the way under the breast area. Jim cringed when he saw it--he feels so bad about all this--but I assured him the pain isn't all that bad. Again, my tonsillectomy at 38 was WAY worse.
At the game I talked to quite a few people who have read my blog and I thank you for all of your kind comments. I forget that not just my women friends and women in general read this. But if you haven't figured it out yet, I am a pretty honest person and I hope I write nothing here that is offensive to anyone. I know I have some students reading this, and I hope your image of me as an adult in your life is not compromised. I probably should think twice about what I do write about this, as boobs are sort of taboo for "us school folk", but I just want to hope that my message might help someone--maybe not today, or tomorrow, but maybe ten years from now, when they are doing a breast exam and feel something that no one can see. I have also fully determined that breast cancer has nothing to do with the breast as any type of sexual object; instead it is about women and feeling like a whole person, even with a ski slope and a Pizza pocket on my chest! This is so not about anything obsence or bad--and I hope I am portraying that and not anything else. What I want to portray is courage, honesty, faith, love, friendship, and hope. (with a little of my hypochondriac self thrown in for humility!)
Another interesting thing about this surgery as I got to meet my stomach again. It ain't so pretty I must admit, but seeing it again was surprising, but it was rather nice not to have all that fat mess laying on top of it (my old boobs). Now Nancy B. is insisting on me walking for exercise so I must now live up to my promise to myself (and Lonnie, remember when I said I was going to be looking "hot" next summer when we start travel ball again?) and want to start the whole exercise, veggie, fruit, lean meat, etc. routine. Oh gosh, now that I have put it in print...I think I need a bowl of ice cream....
thanks pals--thanks for listening.