I lived yesterday basically drug free and had a good day, although I think I got a little depressed, believe it or not. I am now in the UNKNOWN phase again of this cancer--before last Friday, I always knew the next step, but now I don't. So, sitting around the house alone was a bit too much time for me to think so my addiction prevailed--and--gasp--I spent too much time Googling. Of course there is not one link or site that I haven't already read about this cancer, so why I keep doing it I don't know--I guess to look for the good news, but invariably I read the bad news too--so on my mind now is METS. (metasticize) I just need another dose of Dr. Ansari so get me through that and that is next week so I am sure I will be ok. I just know that is the new thing to fear so of course, I do. (Kristina, if you are reading this, will you elaborate on what your doctors are telling you about the next step and the whole mets thing? I don't have your email at home or I would just email you...)
Let's talk about my Betty and my Kelly. As you know, Betty is my former boss but more importantly, my very good friend. She has set up all these wonderful meals up for us--which have helped us out tremendously. I can't imagine the organization of it! And then Kelly, who gets full credit for setting me up on this blog had this great idea to make me dream dinners to put in my freezer. So, last night they arrived in their Save Second Base t-shirts with weeks worth of food they had made that night for our freezer! We were so overwhelmed...and Kelly even gave me the shirt off her back. We are going to try to save that food for the next surgery...which I like to sort of forget about. I think is might be outpatient, but I do think I will have to miss another week of work so that will be a good time to use it. I think that will be about Thanksgiving/Early December so the timing will be perfect. Betty and Kelly, you two are so great and thank you for taking the time so do all that!
Wore a bra for the first time yesterday with a tight shirt over it. Just wanted to see what it looked like. The new boob looks really cute if I don't say so myself. The "udder" boob looks umm...well...let's just say I won't be wearing anything tight in the near future! I tried everything to get it to look natural--wash cloths, tissue, a sock, gauze, etc. but no doing. It does however look fine under loose fitting tops so I will be ok until the pumping up process is complete. And heck, I may not even wear a bra anyway. The other interesting "point" of the day is my nipple still works on the left boob! I wasn't sure that was going to happen since it sure looks sliced up. But it works, all perky and standing up straight. Of course the udder boob has no signs of a nipple and continues to look like a Pizza Pocket and a ski slope.
I am going to our varsity football game tonight. Go Vikes! I hope I can make it at least a half. If not, I will come home and listen on the radio.
I am actually going to put real clothes on right now. Pajamas still are the choice of the day, but I am thinking that wouldn't be good for the game.
Blessings to all of you!
Molly
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