I think things are better.

Last night was long night. I got up two or three times and read through literature about ACC/breast and tried to go back to bed with just the positives on my mind. Didn't sleep well at all but am doing ok now.



Had my appointment with Dr. Ansari today and unfortunately, he didn't have my pathology report from Bronson from the mastectomy so he didn't have much new to say. I told him what I remembered from the reports (negative nodes, 6.1 cm. tumor, clean margins) While we are meeting, Bronson is faxing the stuff so I know we are sort of killing time. He admits that the size of the tumor concerns him a bit but he is really skeptical about radiation and says he will need to call around to ask if others concur with his no radiation/no chemo opinion. (I told him based on what I knew he would find they SHOULD concur) I gave him the name of a pathologist reseacher at University of Virginia who is the "lead researcher" of ACC/breast in the country--not sure what he will do with it, but at least I offered it up. (I also plan to email the doctor--his email is on the UVA website so I figured what do I have to lose?) Dr. Ansari just kept reiterating that there is just so little known about this, so little data, etc. I asked AGAIN if he was convinced this was the primary site and he very assuredly says YES, so I am trying to get over my salivary gland/ear pain fears, but they still remain I must admit. He said he thinks treatment is finished for me, but again, he is going to call around. He said he would follow me very closely (I made him promise NOT to forget about me) and he did promise. He said follow up would just mainly be chest x-rays, blood tests, and mammos/MRI's unless someone tells him differently.



Finally, the path report arrives and he reads it and says "I don't need to see you for 6 months." I was surprised and pleased and said I assume then that there is nothing alarming in the pathology report and he said "nope, 6 months will be fine." I did ask him what to do if I start getting scared about aches and pains and he said "you call me. I am your doctor." So I guess that is good news. So, March will bring scary times again. I am not afraid of the mammos believe it or not, just the chest x-ray. I also wish I knew for sure that my ear/salivary pain is just "residual" pain from my tumor 5 years ago--I know that it is likely--but it just doesn't seem to be getting better. I do know that I feel no mass, and no mass showed up on the PET/Ct so I guess I am ok? I also have this aching muscle in my left shoulder...SEE??? It will never end.



The good news is I lost 10 pounds and my blood pressure was very good for the first time in 4 years or so. I wonder if the cancer caused my blood pressure to go up--or if the weight loss was enough to drop it so much. Strange. Maybe my boobs weighing on my heart? : )



SO. Tissue expander is next on Tuesday. That will be interesting. One funny thing that I did today was when Dr. Ansari asked to see my surgery, I whipped out the reduced breast, forgetting that he had no interest in that side! Poor guy! I just showed it like I was showing my elbow or something. He did touch Mr. Ski Slope to feel the expander--he said later he said if we did radiation with an expander it would get really ugly so he is glad we don't need to do that. I guess I knew there was a chance the expander might have to come out but it was never really explained so thank goodness it doesn't!



This morning I had the pleasure of having coffee with the ladies of Niles at Brew Ha Ha's. What fun. And I had a very nice long chat with Deb T, who just gives me more courage by showing me that no matter what happens, life will go on and that obstacles are a part of everyone's life, not just poor ol' me. I can't tell you all the other secrets we all discussed as "what is said at Brew Ha Ha's STAYS at Brew Ha Ha's. : )

Molly