Friday, August 10, 2007


You know what I want to write for my title but can't. Dr. Nancy called and said that the tumor is too infiltrative to leave as now I have to have a mastectomy. She said this tumor isn't like a normal round tumor that you just remove, it has fingers and those fingers were going everywhere in the piece she took out so "to be on the safe side" (her words) she said she thinks she needs to do the mastectomy. She said she talked with the pathologist twice and Dr. Ansari and together they decided this was the best thing, as not much else (like chemo) helps this kind of cancer except to make sure it is all out.

On the good side, the node was still negative, which I guess is the saving grace of the day. She also encouraged me to go to Maine, and when I get back I will call her and will have two appointments, one first with the plastic surgeon and then her to schedule the mastectomy. It will give me a few days to read up on things; I already have a million questions about it but couldn't think of them when I was on the phone today. She is still great tho'--she didn't paint this dismal picture but was clearly disappointed she hadn't gotten it all. The other thing that scares me is that NONE of this showed up on any test at all, even the MRI's and PET SCAN.

I am so sad--not to lose the fat boob but just because I thought things were going so well and this seems like such a set back. I also have to re-read all my newly purchased cancer books to read about mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, as I skipped those chapters. : ( I will probably have to miss an additional four weeks of work(besides the two I am missing now) and all of that just stinks. I feel bad for my support people too, as this is so hard on everyone. I want to just pretend it isn't there.

Well, it's back to the drawing board I guess. The good news is that we decided as a family to go to Maine to watch Andrew play. We can't afford it and even though I still feel sort of crappy I am hoping it will help the mental side of all of this. We are only going for four days as Jim has to get to work, and I thought I had my first radiation treatment. But those are all cancelled for now.

On a lighter note, I got the TWO biggest plants today from my dear friends. When Jim carried them in, you couldn't even see him behind the jungle. Although I sound miserable right now, I am still smiling at all of you who have been here for me. I am also quite intrigued with the idea of reconstructive surgery on these saggy boobs...Dr. Nancy said it is a law that insurance has to cover reconstructive surgery on BOTHS boobs, not just the cancerous one so perhaps while I am in Maine I will check out some gossip magazines for some smart, perky boobs to aim for...

Love you all.



sheryl said...

God, I don't know what to write (math remember). Molly, I commend you for writing your blog page. You are an amazing person. I would be beating the @&*! out of something right now. (Not sure if it is legal to cuss on these things) No way could I handle all of this the way you have. As I said, YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!

You will get through all of this a stronger person. I hope you are able to enjoy Maine and I hope they win.


Betty said...

As I read your latest news, I too, was swearing. I wanted to reach out and hug you. What an inspiration you are to the rest of us. You're awesome. I send you a strong dose of love, and the hope that the depths of your strength embrace you.
Saw Andrew, Jim, and the team on Channel 16 (and in SBT)this morning. All the Brawleys are amazing. Enjoy the Maine experience together. YOU GO GIRL!

Kelly said...

Molly~ Like Sheryl, I feel there is not a "right" thing to say. I got worried when I checked at 9:00 and you had not posted. Tour strength is inspirational, but know it is ok to feel ANYTHING you want to feel. Hey, Perky boobs! WOW!, no indentation on your shoulders from the bra trying to hoist them that is an ending to look forward to. You have a tremendous amount of love, prayers, and support from so many, draw on that. We love you and are amazed by you~

kim said...

Molly, I want perky boobs! O.K so I just want boobs :) I am with you here. I have a ton of chocolate for you when you return from Maine. Sheryl is addicted to your site (check out the posting time!) Try and enjoy Maine....
Love, Kim

Juli F. said...

First, the serious side of my message: The moment I heard about the cancer a few days back, my inner thoughts said, "Molly is the most positive and determined person; she will beat this." There is no question in my mind. The power of every prayer that is prayed for you is beyond any strength you can imagine. I am sending you that strength every day Molly, so when you feel like you need an extra lift, grab hold of it.

I just wanted to send you a message to let you know how much our family is thinking of you and yours.

Secondly, on a lighter note! New boobs?! I was hoping for new ones too! Perhaps you will share your magazines with me so that I may find the right pair as well!

Enjoy the trip to Maine, love to the boys and Jim, and God is with you always carrying you through.

Juli F.

Mimi said...