What else can go wrong?

I know you are all so anxious to know about the visit to Dr. Woody. (yeh, right! : ) What a day it was on Thursday. I cried for the second time since my diagnosis. I also said the F word I think six times. And now today I have more problems. Let me explain.

Dr. Woody sits me down and says the reason for this visit is to answer any last minute questions. I said great--I have a couple.

Q: How will you determine the size of the reduced breast and the implants?
A: The reduced breast is made as my current body tissue indicates. In other words, he wants a symmectrical "mound" but it all depends on how my tissue mounds itself. Then, he makes the implanted breast the same size. (I am not explaining this very well, but I understood what he said. He said, in general, it will be about the size of a C cup.)

Q: What if I have to have radiation?
A: Hopefully, we can get through the whole expander process before that would happen. If it has to be earlier, he can't finish with the implant surgery because you can't have plastic surgery until a year after radiation. (I did not know this. So, AGAIN, pray for clean margins!)

At this point, Woody decided to be funny and says "Ok, you said a couple questions. You are done." I did not think it was that funny and I am sure my eyes indicated so.

Q: Will the implant or tissue expander interfere with any type of diagnostic testing--including chest x-rays--as this is where my mets would likely be if they were to occur?
A. No interferences are likely, but with my mammos he thinks I will have MRI's anyway. There are alternative types of imaging that can avoid any reconstruction issues.

Last Q: I have this rash and you are the first doctor I have seen and I need you to look at it. (Woody looks at rash)
A: ooooHHH, I am not good with rashes. HaAve you switched detergents, poison ivy etc? Yada yada.

Woody then tells me that the surgery will NOT happen if the rash is still there. He said it would be like opening Pandora's box. So he recommends that I call my family doctor and have it assessed. I tell him I have a new doctor and that I may not be able to get in soon enough. But he assures me that if I explain the situation, any good family doctor would get me in. I say ok, I will call on my way home. I then ask him if he thought this rash might be my cancer coming to the skin--he said no, (with a little laugh) and not to freak out. But he again emphasized that it could be a strep infection, a staph infection--and it has to be gone or surgery will have to be delayed. He said try to see someone no later than Friday--which gives me a week to get it cleaned up.

I leave and think, damn, gotta get rid of this rash. So, on the way home I call Dr. Tackett's office and the receptionist answers in her cheerful voice. I tell her my plight in a very serious voice, as at this point, I am wanting this crap done with and am sick of it. She listens, "uh, huh, uh,huh, ok. Well, I don't think we have anything available today or tomorrow but I will check." So she puts me on hold. Thirty seconds later (or less) she gets back on and says very cheerfully "Nope, sorry, we don't have anything available."

I am stunned and don't know what to say. I do manage to sqeak out: "Ok. I will find something else" and I hang up.

And then the tears come. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrated at 1) her cheerfulness 2) she didn't even offer me an alternative and 3) I HAVE FLIPPIN' CANCER AND YOU CAN"T SQUEEZE ME IN??????

****just so you know, at this point in writing this blog I get the phone call from Tracee at Dr. Nancy's office. More explained below.

I called Jim who kept saying are you ok are you ok, and I am like Yes, I am fine I am just so ANGRY right now. I was trying to think of anyone who could assess this stupid rash--I thought of a parent I know who is a docter--I thought of ER, and finally decided I would go to the walk-in clinic when I got back to Niles. I am still so angry I cry the whole way home and look like crap. But I get in and the doctor there thinks it is eczema and I just need a major does of prescription strength cortisone. It doesn't look like eczema to me, but he tells me twice he thinks that is what it is. So I get the 'script and we go camping.

Some funny things happened camping but my plight is now worse so I won't take the time to try to be funny. This morning I get a call on my cell phone and it is Bronson wanting me to have some pre-op things done--a potassium test, and and EKG. I have to have this done for anethesia's sake. No biggy, we were coming home this afternoon for the game so I will just go to Lakeland and have it done.

So I do just that. And guess what? Dr. Nancy's office just called and my EKG was ABNORMAL!!!!!! frick, fruck, shizzle, crappola. Damn. Tracee, my favorite nurse in the world, tried to calm my fears by saying this has happened before to other patients and it doesn't mean anything horrible but Dr. Nancy (or somebody!) would like to see a previous EKG if possible. Luckily, I had one in October of 2006 (when I thought I was having a heart attack) so Tracee is now on the hunt for that for comparisons. If it proves to be something minor, then I will probably be able to do the surgery. But if it proves to be something, I have to have cardiac clearance, which means I have to see a cardiologist on Tuesday. She did tell me to try not to worry. So, there are two things that may keep me from getting rid of this cancer. In the meantime, those little cells continue to divide, mutiply, and add. I always did hate math!!!

WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY does this have to be so difficult?

I'm done thinking about it for now. Going to the game tonight and then back to camping. I will try not to worry but we all know how that goes.

Going to call my cardiologist nurse sister and sister -in-law. And my mommy.

Thanks for all your prayers. I obviously need each of them.

Love to you all--

Molly