Today the battle begins! Johnny is already kicking cancer's ass as we speak. Hopefully, Crazy MIL is playing lots of BrainAge on her Nintendo DS and Pam is reading wine magazines. Johnny is probably talking fishing with some older gentleman. Regardless, the bad cells are getting KILLED.

Shade woke me up this morning in an anxious fit. Have no idea why. But that was at 4:00. I was still up when Jim got up at 5:30 but feel back asleep and didn't get up until 10. Oops. I have a lunch meeting today with our administrative staff so I am heading out soon.

My job this morning was to get Jim a doctor's appointment. Jim is suddenly very interested in this, which is understandable. Besides the colon issues, he has had a growing lump near his rib cage/breast area. This whole time we have been thinking it was a fatty lipoma, as he has a another in another spot--and he has had this for years but now it has gotten our attention. Instead of going to my doctor, we decided it might be better to go to Johnny's doctor so we get the same doc to do the colonoscopy, etc. As we know with me, getting doctor's appointments is never easy as JIM has to be the one to set the appointment up. Luckily, the receptionist said getting into Dr. Al-Fahdl is fairly fast--I am assuming he is new. Pam loves him therefore I love him. Anyway, Jim will call this afternoon. I tried to tell the receptionist about Johnny and why we were in a hurry and she understood, but still couldn't take Jim's history from me. Ok. He will call tonight.

Jim hit a deer yesterday and did $1000 worth of damage to his car. That was according to Tyler's. Another body shop in Niles said it was $2400 worth. I didn't even ask. We are going to Tyler's.

Still coughing and chest hurts. It has to be allergies.

Love to all. Please pray that strongman Johnny has few side effects from this chemo.

Molly

The beat goes on.

Good morning. I just spent the last hour reading over old posts from two years ago as I prepared for my results from Dr. Ansari. I am sick to my stomach with anxiety for Johnny and Pam--I know a bit how they are feeling and can't help. I wish I could but I can't. But I can say this. Dr. Ansari will have a plan when they are done and then the battle begins.

Two years ago yesterday was my diagnosis. And here I am still worried. My chest does not feel as bad today because I haven't coughed as much but it was killing me last night. Luckily, I sleep well.

I promised Josh I would take him and his friends to Cici's Pizza today. I want to get some new sheets so I am headed to Target--lots on sale.

Please, please, please bring some peace to Johnny and Pam today!

Molly

Edgy.

Good Sunday to you.

Thursday was a busy day. I had my doctor's appointment with Dr. T--which was uneventful. I did tell him about my coughing and he couldn't offer me much more than "take Clariton and 'forgedda 'bout it', which is what he said. He said my lungs sounded "great" and that I had some clear crap running in my nose--but everything else was fine. However, I must say that his words did NOT reassure me as I am still sort of wheezy and my chest hurts a bit and I keep coughing. I did buy some Clariton (goodness, is that stuff expensive! 24 pills was $20 at WalMart) and am on day 2 of it. Still coughing and chest hurts, and my throat hurts a little too. Andrew is also taking the Claritin for his runny nose--I know this could all be allergies but it is so scary and of course, I have seen a million ads for lung cancer, lung cancer symptoms, etc. I also notice that when I am sitting down it is sometimes hard to talk--like I can't get air in. Could just be my fat belly squeezing something but it is bothersome. I am also having all kinds of wierd aches and pains everywhere...never a day without worry. I am seriously thinking about taking Xanax until these things subside. I just feel so edgy.

I am obviously sensitive to Johnny's issues as well. In fact, Dr. T asked me how I was doing with the whole cancer thing so I told him about Johnny. Because of that he decided that, to further ease ANY fears that I might have, I should do the whole "blood in stool test" using these little cards. I am NOT concerned about that for me...but what the hell, it can't hurt. I appreciated his concern for my "sensitivity" (his word) to the cancer issues but haven't done the stool thing.

After the doctor's appointment, off we went to Chicago. Concert was marvelous. We sang lots and stood the whole time. I had a GIANT of a guy standing in front of me that looked sort of like Pooh--just on major steroids. This guy was so nice though--he and his buddy were with what I called the "Kardashian sisters"--two really cute dark haired hotties that weighed about 100 pounds tops. We were actually sore from standing so much and felt like we had performed. Our seats were awesome and it was just a nice night. Thank you my Lonnie, as always.

This weekend Andrew's baseball team won the District tournament for American Legion baseball so his season continues. He plays again this coming Saturday at what is called the "Zone", or regionals. If they were to win that, he would go to the State Championships, which is the following week. Andrew had the game winning hit in the semis, so it was an exciting night. Once he is done playing, he has to start conditioning BIG TIME for college ball so he hopes to keep winning. : ) I just sent off a check to Goshen to take care of his tuition that isn't covered by scholarship. Good to have that done!

Jim and I are getting old...we have taken to going for a nightly drive to look for deer. It is crazy how many deer are out by Johnny and Pam's house around 9 PM. We just put the car in park and watch them. Last night, there was another car doing the same thing. I do not think I could ever shoot one--but don't blame those that do since I have seen the damage they do, plus the surplus of them is not good for the food chain.

Johnny hears from Dr. A tomorrow about his PET/CT scan and what the plan is to get chemo started. I just feel good about the PET report so hopefully, chemo will quickly be started. Please, tonight, say extra prayers that Johnny and Pam have strength to get through the appointment and that the news is good. They are in such good hands but getting there is the worst part...they will leave armed and ready to fight!

Molly

Amazing talent. Amazing strength.

C is for Chicago tomorrow.

You are probably wondering why that little drop of blood is my new icon photo--well, as I looked for a saved picture of me I found it and thought she was so cute. Her name is Ruby and she graced our halls at NHS during a recent blood drive. No, it isn't me in the costume (HA) but I still think she is cute so what the heck, she will be my photo.

Wow, it is suddenly really hot and humid. We do not have the air on today--I swear it makes my cough worse. My cough is still around...most of the time I think it is sinus issues but still get scared. UGH.

Tomorrow is a busy but exciting day! In the a.m., I have contract negotiations, then a doctors appointment for the annual annoying exam, and then Jim and I, along with Johnny and Pam, are going to see Elton John and Billy Joel in Chicago. Our blessed Berrien Springs angel got the tickets for us and we are so excited! Our angel wanted Danny to go too but he has football camp and feels he needs to stay back here--and, yes, that is the responsible thing to do I am sure! I think Pam's sister and her husband are now going so it will be lots of fun! Weather looks good. The concert is at Wrigley Field and Lonnie says it is 4 hours long so it will be a late night. I hope the night allows us all to forget about the c word if even for just a few hours.

The other good news of the day is I finished two of my classes that I have been taking. I just have to get them mailed off. Then I have to decide the next one I am going to take. The two I just finished were about motivating the unmotivated student (ironic it took me 10 months to get it done) and the other one was about stress relief. Most of my stress this summer was worrying about gettting that class done so now I have one less thing to worry about so I guess the class worked. (that is a joke)

Made yummy fudge the other day. Still eating it. I almost doubled the recipe. Thank goodness I didn't.

I bought Ginger a Nintendo DS game with the Brain Age game and she is as addicted as I am. She called today to say her brain age is 26. She is an overachiever!

When I post next I hopefully will have some pictures from the concert. I also have to get Jim that doctor's appointment SOON.

Love to you all. Keep praying and sending out positive vibes! Anything is appreciated!

Molly

Relay for Life is July 25

Hello all. We are doing just fine today. Sunny, light breeze, won a baseball game, and we have a family cookout this afternoon. We are enjoying today!

My cough is not worse, but still there. Andrew has the same cough so maybe we just have some allergy bug or something. I still have some chest discomfort but minimal. As usual, cancer continues to scare and loom, but as I tell myself, "I am not going to die today." It always sucks.

Cubs are winning. Another good reason to enjoy.

I need to make an appointment for Josh's driving test but I suppose he and I are going to have to go out and practice some more in my car.

I have a busy week this week--two doctors appointments (dentist is one) and two sessions of contract negotiations. I think I am back at work one month from tomorrow. Time has FLOWN.

I also have to get Jim in to a doctor. I think I may try to get him in to Johnny's internist, and then have him schedule the colonoscopy with the same doctor who did Johnny's. Jim has not been to the doctor in at least a decade I would guess.

Relay for Life is coming up...hope many of you can attend.

Molly

Cough again--still--crap.

We had a nice storm this morning and I was forced to drug my dog at 6:00 this a.m. but went back to bed and slept until noon! Very rare for me but we all must have needed it as Jim just got back up too. Of course, he was out with the brothers carp shooting (don't ask) and didn't get home until almost 2:00. He said it was very fun and they laughed a lot. I hope it re-energized them to see that Johnny is the same Johnny and will remain so!

At the risk of sounding like a whiner, I am coughing chronically again. Been going on for about three weeks. You know how that scares me. I told myself to quit drinking ice tea (I think that bothers me) and that didn't help, and I thought going up north would get me away from what ever allergen was bugging me and that didn't help, and now I am home and it continues. I will say I do have the lovely PND from the sniffer, but I am not sure. I have my lovely annual exam on Thursday with my family doctor so I will mention it. I am absolutely terrified to have a chest xray so I hope he can just look in my throat and say "you have a cold dearie" and not insist on an xray.

Josh got Jim the funniest, most crude t-shirt from the Cubs game. Jim had to act like he thought it was the most hilarious thing on earth but says to me"where can I wear this?" Gotta love Josh.

Speaking of my Joshmeister, I didn't mention that he FAILED his driver's test up in the UP. I have permission to talk about this from him so I am not humiliating him without his knowledge but yes, he ran over a pylon in the parking test and never even got to go on the road. Those of you who have kids know the agony of this with a young driver. In his defense, he WAS driving the biggest car we own, the Suburban, so that was a big problem. But the sad thing is, in his practicing, he was doing so well...way better than many adults can park. He just sort of panicked. So, now we schedule one down here and he takes either my Malibu or Ginger's clown car. (it is really really small) Poor Josh.

As mentioned in previous UP blogs, we all paint bricks on the barn when we are up there and Josh painted a big red F on his...with a car driving over a pylon. I did a brick for Andrew that read Goshen College and also one for breast cancer--complete with my favorite phrase 'feel your boobies" and "save 2nd base." I should have taken pictures before we left.

Must get ready for a few grad parties today--and Andrew has two baseball games tonight, If I didn't mention it before, we have decided that his wrist is fine. Dr. B wanted us to do an MRI to see if the tendons were messed up but Andrew says they are fine so we cancelled. Hope it doesn't come back to haunt us. So he plays with the bone fracture that Dr. B said was nothing to worry about.

More later. Keep praying for good reports for Johnny and some calmness for the whole family. Thank you much for that!

Molly

The Fighting Toad

My brother-n-law Johnny was diagnosed with colon cancer two days ago. There are some spots on his liver as well. He turned 43 yesterday. Pam, who many call Mimi, has started a blog to keep us all posted. The blog is called www.the fightingtoad.blogspot.com. Please visit, say lots of prayers, and give them as much support as you have given me. We will have prayers around the world!

I am numb about all of this. I just can't stand to know what they are going through. Johnny is so strong so I am less worried about him than I am Pam and Ginger. Both are two of the strongest people I know--and I know will fight this--but it hurts me to know the pain they are feeling. No one should have to feel this way. It honestly feels like someone has kicked you in the stomach and you can't breath. They are at the oncologist right now so we will know more later. Ginger and John are on their way home from the UP on Sunday. Please please please send Pam your love via her blog--it was amazing how everyone's thoughts helped me heal.

We had a good week in the U.P. but I am not up to writing about it right now. I will be back.

Molly

Fractured wrist.

Yesterday, Andrew broke his wrist. Uh oh. The knobby part of the outside of his wrist was hit by a pitch and his reaction was quite obvious that it HURT. But he finished the game and on the way home he said "I want to wait 24 hours but I think my wrist might be broken." It was slightly red and a tad swollen so I said ok, we will wait. But then about 4 hours later he put on his flip flops and said "will you take me to the emergency room?" So, yes, we did, and yes, it was. It is just a "chip fracture" and it is in a temporary cast until we see the orthopedist on Tuesday. My googling has learned that it should be 4-6 weeks in the best case scenario...and surgery in the worst. I asked for a copy of the xray to expedite the process with Dr. Balint, his ortho., and you can see the piece of bone that chipped off...right next to the ulna. It looks very minor to me but what do I know?

So, no baseball for awhile, which is ok, since we are going on vacation this coming Thursday anyway. But Jim is terrified it will some how affect fall ball at Goshen. Dr. Balint has treated Andrew two times before for sports injuries (same broken wrist during football) and a torn something in his throwing arm...) and he is fantastic, so I am not worried. Luckily, they squeezed us in tomorrow since Dr. B is leaving for vacation Wednesday as well.

Other than that, still doing laundry. Excited to get away to the UP--to read, sleep, and of course eat. : )

More later--

Molly

Summer time!

A couple people asked me for the link to Goshen's website...I have given you the link to the baseball signing page....scroll down and you will see Andrew. Also, his roommate is Lucas Hucker if you want to check him out. He'e a very nice young man.

http://www.goleafs.net/baseball/

Ok, today it is Pool Day! I have told Sheryl I would be over for how many summers now? Ten probably? And today we are going! Weather is supposed to be hot hot hot so that makes it perfect. This morning I dug out the old bathing suits and although I think I may have worn it once since losing the boobie, this is definitely the first time I have worn it since reconstruction was finished. I don't think anyone will be able to tell; but fake boobie is definitely a bit smaller than the other. But it does its job--putting mounds in the suit like it should. I am one white woman so I feel bad for everyone there who I will blind..............gotta wear the sunscreen though. Days of frying are over for me.

Someone left our refrig door open all night...not happy as everything is sweating, but luckily not ruined.

I must admit that I watched Jon and Kate last night although I had sworn I was NOT going to...I am so ticked off that they didn't do counseling, or try harder, or whatever. Like it is ANY of my business...I didn't watch the first half but then Josh was watching and both Jim and I got sucked in. I will say this...I thought they were pretty candid...I just want to know WHY they didn't go to counseling, although I suspect the answer is that Jon said "GET ME OUT OF HERE!" and has no desire to save the marriage. Anyway, I doubt I will watch the show much now but maybe it could be a story of how to be good parents who are divorced. Yes, I am giving this way too much blog time.

Not much else here. A new sister on the ACC/breast site from Germany is now telling us that the doctors in Germany INSIST that chemo is a must with ACC/breast. Starts to make you second guess everything. Hmm. It never ends.

Molly

Parent advice

Hi.

If you are a parent, please read this carefully:

Make your kids hang up their wet towels.

That is my piece of wisdom for today.

Now, on to other important things. Like what should we have for dinner. I am sort of into making pasta salads these days. I may try a new recipe. Josh of course won't eat it but that isn't anything new. Both boys have games tonight--Andrew is in Decatur and Josh is home. I may not go to either of them.

I realize it is really, really hot out, but I actually feel like it is finally summer. So no complaints here.

That is all for now. AGain, follow my advice and make those kids hang up those towels. Otherwise, you will want to scream at the top of your lungs EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE.

Molly

I love a rainy night...um...no.

two blogs in a row. I am on a roll.

Shade is living the life of a junkie. With all these storms, she has about lost her mind so we had to give her another pill today.  WILL IT EVER BE SUMMER??

Did some thinking about Andrew's registration yesterday and I don't think I expressed how well it went.  I was so impressed with the personal service we got.  I think back to my orientation at Western and what a fiasco it was--especially when it came to choosing my classes. I remember being in the dorm room in 100 degree weather trying to even read the darn catalog.  I did ok, but after four years of being at WMU, I think I graduated with about 40 credits too many--in other words...took the WRONG classes a few times.  Many have spoken about the benefits of a small school and for Andrew, I think it should be a good start. I am not naive to think that he may not enjoy it, but he sure seems happy now.  (there was one girl there that was NOT happy she had to go there--she wanted to go to Bethel but ended up at Goshen as they have a top-rated nursing program)  Also,  and this was really strange, there was a incoming freshman there who was about 7 months pregnant.  So, I had a feeling she had to fudge a little on the whole premarital sex "agreement" that all Goshen kids have to sign.  I am NOT being judgmental...more power to her to show up and continue her education...but based on the Goshen College "community standards" it was just a surprise.  Also, while there, Andrew saw another basketball player from Portage Northern who he played against. So in actuality, there are about 5 kids there he knows from previous competition. Small world.

I really, really, really need to finish a class I have been working on for about 9 months.  Yes, we get a year to complete it but I have very little left to do so why am I procrastinating. I think that will be my goal for early next week.  

i need to go rescue Jim, who is battling Crazy Shady upstairs. I keep hearing him yell Ouch!  Dammit!  which means Shade is clawing him because she is so afraid of the thunder and lightening.  

Love to all--

Molly

Goshen registration

Today Andrew had registration at Goshen College. I must say it went quite well. He quickly figured out that there was a 60-40 ratio of girls to boys...many athletes were at this session and he actually ended up sitting by his future roommate at lunch. Very nice young man but sort of quiet. Andrew DID venture out and went to talk to other kids--I was proud of that--and ended up making some friends already who are in his dorm. His session with the academic counselor went really well; he and I had looked over some classes awhile ago and had a tentative schedule sort of figured out and the counselor was thrilled at what we had done. Although he does have an 8:00 MWF, he is done at noon and only has one class on Tuesdays. Thursdays are longer because he has that one class, plus a freshman seminar, and then a biology lab at night. But overall, it looked ok.

He took a placement test in Spanish and said he would be lucky to be allowed to take Spanish. He said it was crazy hard--but everyone agreed with him so we shall see. (I remember the same thing from my placement test--in fact, I walked out of mine!) Again, he left there excited and very happy with how nice everyone was. However, now that he is home, he is back being a grouch and complaining that we don't let him do anything...ugh. August 29 can't come fast enough right now!

I personally am excited to go shopping for his dorm room stuff. He does have bunk beds, which is sort of interesting. I am thinking he should probably be on the bottom bunk since he is 6'3" and his roomate is about 5'7"...but who knows. They both have refrigerators--but I think Andrew is going to get a microwave. The rooms are carpeted and I am still really pleased with how clean everything was/is, especially the bathrooms! Oh, also, we didn't know this, but the dorms are air conditioned! And they have their own thermostat so that is nice.

Despite his crappy attitude right now, we had a really good day.

Ok, time to hit the showers and get prepared to read my book, I am trying a new author--Lisa Unger--and so far, so good.

Much love!

Molly

Letting go.

I am going to whine a bit today so be prepared. I must say that Control Freak Molly Elizabeth Brawley is not doing well with the "letting go" of my 18 year old son...and he ain't doing too well dealing with me! I want him to be the good little boy that never questioned what we said. Advice is welcome--short of shooting him, how did you experts handle the so- called adult in your house? Curfews? Chores? Money? UGH. Really not much else to say about that but dang, I'm ready to ship him to Goshen NOW.

I am now waiting for the plumber to arrive to install a new water heater. We thought about attempting to put it in ourselves--for about 10 seconds--and then called our local plumber. I have no idea what it is going to cost, but we have water all over our basement from the leak--the thing is over 20 years old so in my research, I think we got our money's worth in terms of that. I hate when installers are here...half the time I feel like i should entertain them by watching and asking questions when I really don't care. : ) Just make sure no leaks and plenty of hot water.

On the good news side, our softball team was crowned State champs this past weekend. It was very exciting and the girls are incredible! They represented Niles so well. Also, this weekend was opening ceremonies for Sportsfest, a regional all-star Olympics or sorts. Andrew was selected to play on both the football and baseball teams. Tonight is baseball...if they win, they play again Thursday. Then Saturday is the one football game. Josh has a Niles Nuts game with Jim tonight...I will go to Andrew's game at Bethel College, although I hear the rain is coming.

Yesterday I had a six month check up appointment with Dr. Nancy in Kalamazoo. She was my surgeon if you recall.I was quite shocked when she told me I no longer needed to see her. I honestly thought I would see her forever. She said that "I graduated" and that Dr. Ansari should be doing breast exams every 6 months now instead of her. Not sure I like that, although driving to Kalamazoo was a pain. So, I guess that is a good thing.

I do not feel well today. I can't shake a queasy stomach for some reason. This has been going on for about a week, off and on.

Today we start interviews for our new assistant principal. Busy!

Molly

Remiss

Ah, I am remiss in my postings. Life is slowing down just a bit so here I am.

Graduation is done. High school baseball is done. I have 7 days left to get up until I am on vacation. (yes, I do have to work some in the later summer but it won't be at the crack of dawn so its not so bad)

We have finally landed on July 5 to head up north. If you are a creeper, please don't rob my house. It is armed and alarmed. : )

Andrew thinks he is Mr. Social and has no responsibilities these days. He will hate it when I am home and give him a to do list. Come to think of it, Josh seems to think the same thing.I think both have stayed up way too late so far and sleep in way too late as well. Teen-agers.

Andrew did learn about his roommate. He is from a very very tiny school of 90 boys (I think around 90 girls too) and graduated with a 4.0. That is a good sign for Andrew! He is an infielder and a pitcher for the Goshen baseball team.

Craving hot dogs on the grill. Jim is giving a baseball lesson right now. Josh is asleep on the big comfy couch and I have no clue where Andrew is. I need to put a GPS beacon in his car so i can locate him.

More later...enjoy your night.

Molly

He's done.

Love him. love him, love him! He is now officially graduated. Now on to college and a little bit of reality.

It's hard to have an 18 year old when you are a control freak.

Hi everyone! Long time. Two weeks to be exact. Crazy.

Let's see. Andrew no longer attends Niles High School on a daily basis. He was exempt from all his finals, which is probably a good thing, because if you could die from senioritis, he would be six feet under. Geesh. I won't mention the number of conversations we have had about "finishing strong" and doing it for pride, integrity, etc. Umm... his response is..."are you kidding me?" Tomorrow is the Honor's Reception, where he will receive his Honor Cords, National Honor Society Cords, and his Board Scholar Cords. The Class of 2009 is filled with many honor students. More than half. They truly have been a great class, and there has been very little "I can't wait to get out of this place" attitude--in fact, just the opposite. What really, really nice kids they are. Then Wednesday night is Baccalaureate, and then Thursday is the big night--Graduation, followed by Project Graduation.

Beckie Hamm recommended a book to me called Belong to Me by Maria de la Santos and it was such a great read! The writing was so poetic...good story line too...reminded me of Jody Picault. Read it if you can.

Josh is going to go to journalism camp this summer at Michigan State. He is excited, as are we. It's expensive, but we will figure it out. He is going to be the Sports Editor next year.

I set three goals this morning: get both bathrooms clean, and my bedroom, by noon. Yes, I was successful. I still have the ping pong table mess all over the place--still working on the photo spread for Andrew's party, and now Jim has me working on something for Senior Night for baseball.

A new ACC breast cancer sister from Germany logged on to the ACC site and is telling us that the German doctors ALWAYS recommend chemo for ACC/breast. While I know there is no research out there that I know of of its success, it makes me pause to think "should I have?". But then the others all say NO--in fact, one woman says she got leukemia from it...and a heart condition. She is cancer free, however.

Pulled pork sandwiches for dinner tonight.

Love to you all--and thanks for stopping by. It is good to hear from you.

Molly

Getting stressed. But it's all ok.

It was a stressful week at work--so many meetings to sit through when I really needed to be in my office, door shut, working on the master schedule (which is what teachers teach what classes on what day). Friday afternoon was the first time I could do that and I ended up working until after 5 and forgot to pick up Josh from practice. Working until after 5 doesn't seem like much of a big deal to the rest of you, but getting to work before 7, staying up late and attending freezing baseball games makes for a grumpy Molly. : )

I went to Gordon's today and bought lots of yellow and white paper products for Andrew's graduation party. The tent we rented is yellow and white striped and I think navy is too dark so we are going with the yellow theme. May is going to be super duper stressful I predict as I have to finish the master schedule, plan graduation (which is almost done), get my own child graduated, and have his party. Schwewee. Thank goodness for my in-laws!

I am playing phone tag with the admissions counselor at Goshen. I am just going to have to call her from work. I never do that --always feel guilty on work time, but it is so hard to get ahold of people! Did I mention that Andrew and I tentatively chose his classes? That was an interesting process. With it being such a small school, there is not a lot to chose from but in a way, that makes things easier. He is taking his first Bible class....has to take two while he is there. I think it will be good for him.

Josh is doing really well with baseball. This week he is home so I will see a few more of his games. Andrew has eight games this week--finally--most teams have played almost 20 games and we have just played 11 I think--and it showed vs. St. Joe. We now have only two losses, which to many is a surprise, but Jim has always said that this group of kids is pretty darn good. We do not have the pitching we had last year but hitting wise we are much much better so it sort of evens out. Enough boring sports talk.

Tomorrow is the Senior Athlete Recognition dinner. We are looking forward to it but we also have a bridal shower for a Brawley cousin so it will be a busy day!

I am addicted to iced tea--last summer it was sweetened but I am going for just the clear, crisp taste of regular now. Yum.

Beep beep. Laundry is done. Off I go.

M.

Wind and rain

Hello. A little disappointed in the weather today. Too many storms! Cancelled games and a crazy dog are the result.

Josh still isn't home from the Coldwater tournament. Andrew just left for Kait's and Jim went to Vota's house for a cook out. I am just too tired. With the storms at night I don't get any sleep because of the dog. How ridiculous. Last night I put her down stairs and Andrew locked her in a room to leave him alone. We did better that way.

My house, since Spring Break, looks like a tornado hit it. The ping pong table is filled with thousands of pictures, uniforms, newpaper clippings, UGH. I need summer to get it all taken care of.......

Andrew bought a book yesterday called "How to Survive your Freshman Year in College." It is just a book filled with pieces of advice from college students. He is almost done and I am on Chapter 8. It is a super duper easy read and I recommend it to anyone going off to college.

It's sort of amazing how I haven't been complaining about any crazy symptoms lately, isn't it. Amazing what a clear scan will do for you. Other than being TIRED all the time, I feel great. Shade and I need to take a walk.

That's all for now. Hope all is well with the world.

M

2009 Outstanding Youth Leader--my kid

Today, Andrew was named the winner of the Berrien County Outstanding Youth Leadership award. To say he was totally shocked was an understatement. He is standing here with Margaret Clayborn and her CEO from Lakeland Hospital. Andrew wins a $1000 scholarship. There were 14 students nominated. A girl from Dowagiac was named the winner of the Outstanding Volunteer award--get this, she designs her own line of purses and donates all the proceeds to a charity. When Andrew read her profile, he said "she will win." Little did he know, there were TWO awards and he got the other one! I've also posted a picture of Andrew and Zach Payne, the other Niles nominee.

He's a Maple Leaf

Andrew signed his Letter of Intent today. Finally, the process is over. Coach Vota is on the left, Andrew, and then Coach Keister, the head coach at Goshen College.

A few prom pictures.

The first picture is of Andrew and Kait, and Sarah and Zach. Are they not beautiful people? I love the second picture, even though you can't see much of Kait's dress (and Andrew is squinting) I will post more later.

Molly

Lemon custard isn't my first choice.

Hello. Break is officially over. It was a good break, although my list still remains long. I did finish some things for Andrew's graduation party and had a delightful time with Josh and my dog, not to mention the husband. We just went to Sonny's for dinner tonight. Have to pick Andrew up at the airport around 11:00 tonight. I just checked his flight status in Atlanta and he is awaiting take off.

I am being quite crafty with this graduation party stuff. Ok, so that is an exaggeration but I am painting a box thingy to put cards in. And I am still all sticky from spray adhesive from the photo collages I am making. We found the funniest picture of Josh. When Niles went to state in basketball back in 2000 the boys shaved their heads for Uncle Matt, who was also bald. Josh looks hilarious in this one picture. When you come to the party, you will have to look for it among the million others.

Today I was craving a custard filled donut and Krispy Creme was calling me when I was in Mishawaka being crafty. I went in to get one, and the girl behind the counter said they had none. But the boy who waited on me said "How many do you need?" I said six, and six original. So he takes the chocolate covered ones and inserts custard for me. I was excited but then realized when I got home that is was lemon custard, which isn't horrible, but still not what I was hoping for. Jim then came home and was THRILLED I had bought them, as he too was having the same craving. Needless to say, the donuts are all gone now, despite the lemon addition. Josh ate up all the originals I believe.

I think we have seven weeks of school left when we get back. Amazing. I have so much to do when I get back but although it is insanely busy, it flies by. UGH. I just got that "gpong back to chaos" feeling in the pit of my stomach. It will be ok, it always is.

Haven't heard from my ACC/breast sisters--I am assuming everyone is just living their lives like I am.

Love to you all--and Happy Easter, of course.

Molly

The Last Lecture

Today I started the gathering of photos for Andrew's graduation party. Josh and I have been cracking up at the funny things we have done in the past. I have sticky adhesive all over my hands. Not even half way done but it is a start and something else I can (sort of) cross off my Spring Break list. Luckily, there are very few photos of me.

Jim talked to Andrew in Florida and needs to learn how to ask questions. All I got out of the conversation was that Andrew is staying out of the sun and having fun. Women are such better communicators.

There are two new ACC/breast members on my ACC site. Meredith is trying to decide if she wants the lumpectomy or mastectomy. I told her I had the decision taken away from me, which was a good thing I would guess, for me anyway.

Shady Paige has been outside all day. She looks like she is sunbathing.

Jim does not have to work tomorrow so we are taking Josh to Famous Dave's for dinner tonight. Tomorrow night Jim wants to go watch Lakeshore play baseball in LaPorte. It is an 8:30 PM start time so we will freeze. I wonder if there is a mall nearby? Josh had practice today--a good day with lots of sun.

I want to be a good mom and get my kids Easter Baskets but don't want to waste money. They don't like all that much candy--and get tons from Grandma--and I don't want to buy CD's or gift cards or anything that expensive. Maybe I will buy them beef jerky, They love beek jerky and always ask for it when we are in line at the $100 store, Wal-Mart.

I want to go camping. I should see if there are any campgroungs near Goshen College. Heck, Twin Mills is near there.

I was checking out my areola tattoo and it is really faded and the nipple itself if very small too. It doesn't look like the other one much anymore. It's fine, but definitely very light.

I forgot to mention that I finally read "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. I read it yesterday so that shows you what a quick read it is. I enjoyed it very much and admire his attitude towards dying. I related very well to the day he learned his cancer was back and completely out of control. He said to his wife "I am not going to die today. And I am not going to die tomorrow. So let's get through these days." That is my mantra when I worry. Anyway, healthy people should read this book too. It's not heavy...just a nice reminder to LIVE and enjoy what time you have. I am making Jim read it so he doesn't freak out when Andrew misses a practice or the kids get a B on something.

Josh wants to get on so off I go.

Molly

Almost there.

I have about three minutes to type this. I am waiting for Andrew to get home from picking up his buddy Zach. Then we are heading to the South Bend airport to hopefully catch a stand by flight to Florida. The boys and the Alis are not scheduled to fly until 5 PM but Lonnie put in some calls and they are hoping to get on this flight. If not, the boys will at least check their luggage until the later flight.

Andrew has verbally committed to Goshen College. Our visit went well. He left saying that the people there are probably the nicest people on earth. I think he was sold when he met with the players for lunch. While they are probably a LOT nicer than his friends, he seemed to feel at home with them as much as you can the first time you meet someone. It was interesting to watch the dynamics as they were trying to figure each other out. At the last minute, just before meeting the coach to see the final offer, one kid, who I thought was adorable, blurted out "if you are worried about chapel, it's no big deal." And that sold Andrew. When Andrew gets back from Spring Break, he will officially "sign" his letter of intent, if that is what you call it! : )

We did meet this hilarious girl from Grand Rapids names Karis, who was just a high school junior, but went on the tour with us, along with her friend and mom. She's thinking about Goshen and is checking colleges out early. (her mom must have read the pamphlet to do that! Unlike us!) Anyway, she had bright red hair, a funky little outfit on and never shut up. She basically interviewed Andrew about everything. One funny part was one she asked him what he was interested in...and guess what he said? BASEBALL. Not teaching, not saving the world, but BASEBALL. Luckily, the admisssions counselors who were listening to this dialogue laughed out loud when he said that. Anyway, she kept me entertained the whole tour and although Andrew tried to act like she was wierd, he was entertained by her too.

Ok, it is now 12:56 and they didn't get seats on the noon flight so they are back on for 5:00. Lonnie just called and they were going to get something to eat and then decide if they will come back to Niles before the next flight.

I need to find my Spring Break list to see if I can cross anything else off. I did work on one of my classes--but still need to write a four page paper and keep a stress log. Stress log will be easy I would imagine!

Josh wants Pizza Hut. I did promise him Famous Daves this week sometime but that is all. Wonder what I should make for dinner?

TTFN. At least the college decision is over.

Ah, Spring Break!

Happy Spring Break. I love vacations when I am not thinking about cancer. And, I am NOT thinking about cancer. So there.

I officially switched over to my happy Vera spring purse. I love the print but am not too sure of the style. Way small for me. But I had so much crap in my other one perhaps this will be good for me.

Cold today. Andrew and Jim just went off to practice so it's just Joshie and me hanging out until they get home. We are then going to take a drive down to Goshen to try to catch the second game of Goshen's double header vs. Spring Arbor. It will give Andrew a chance to see the college, see the team, and give US a chance to get out of the house. I just want to go somewhere, even if it is just Goshen, IN.

How 'bout that forecast? SNOW. I remember having a snow day at Western back in the college days on April 4. We lost all the electricity in the dorms. It was a one day crazy snowstorm. If the snow comes Monday and Tuesday like it is suppose to, I would assume Andrew's baseball game on Tuesday will be cancelled. He leaves for Florida Tuesday night with his buddies and Lonnie. How jealous can I be???? But I do have so much to do this week, plus their weather looks a bit cool for me. But still, there are a bunch of fun families down there that I would laugh with. Ah well, we can't afford it anyway.

Took Andrew to get measured for his tux today. He had no interest whatsoever to even be there. But that is off my Spring Break list so good for us. JIm and I made a spring break list and so far, we've crossed off the tux. I want to put things on there like "get up" just so I feel like I have accomplished something. Getting the patio furniture out is one thing but with snow coming, maybe we need to postpone that.

Josh was chosen as Sports Editor for the high school paper next year. And to think he threw the biggest fit about me "making" him take this class. It is now going to be his career choice and he's an awesome writer so I do sometimes know what I am talking about.

I am finishing a Lisa Gardner book right now and just purchased a new (paperback) Harlen Coben so I can't wait to start that. And no, I still have not finished Pillars of the Earth.

TTFN--happy spring, despite dumb temps!

Molly

It's never easy.

Can life get any busier? But the sun is shining and life is good.

However, it is getting complicated. Andrew is going to have to tell some coaches soon about his decision. The two hardest will be the football coach at North Park and the baseball coach at Olivet. And today Uncle Danny said the Olivet football coach is really looking forward to him coming. I just checked my email and the North Park coach emailed me to give to Andrew "you are a huge part of our future plans and we really need you on the squad" It went on to say that they will work around baseball with him too if that is what it took. Andrew is at National Honor Society tonight so he has not read the email and doesn't know the Olivet coach called. This is going to be very, very hard for him. But maybe once he signs (if he does) with Goshen he at least has a good reason--and that reason is MONEY. I feel bad for the D III schools as they just can't compete with schools that can give athletic scholarships. I did tell Andrew that these schools lose recruits all the time.

Also today, Goshen sent all kind of literature about their school. They seem very similar to K-College in many ways. They have the study abroad program--80 percent of their students go for 13 weeks (either their junior or sophomore year )to a foreign country and live with a family and study. That scared Andrew when we talked about K but now that he is less worried about money, it intrigues him. Also, the brochures were cool--for as small as it is, there seems to be a lot to do there. I keep reminding him that he is sacrificing attending college football games and that type of atmosphere--I keep telling him all the negatives of a small school--just so I know he has thought this through. I also pointed out all the side burns in the photos and he just laughed. I loved his attitude when he said, "mom, church can't hurt me. You have always wanted us to choose our paths when it comes to our faith. This will be fine." Such a smart boy. I am so proud of him and think he is handling this all very well.

Josh got all A's for the marking period. Sometimes I want to smack him because he could have all A's all the time if he would JUST work at it. Andrew did fine after three weeks of my nagging to get his Teaching Academy done. He was just a few points away from an A- in AP Psych which is unheard of for him!

Haven't thought much about cancer lately. I feel I deserve that.

Sigh. Life is good but it is complicated.

Molly
Future mom of a Maple Leaf?

Will Andrew become a Goshen Maple Leaf?

Good morning. I am waiting for Josh to get ready for school. Now that baseball has started our house is an even bigger mess than usual and I should be picking up the trail of clothes from the bathroom to all points elsewhere.

On the college scene, Andrew is now leaning towards Goshen College. He met with the coach, got a preliminary offer and since it is what we were hoping for, we are going to try to visit Monday of Spring Break. The coach was super to Andrew and it is very, very clear that they want him. I can't say money is no longer a worry because we still will need loans, but Goshen will definitely become the most affordable.

However, Andrew has to feel comfortable, so we must visit first, before he signs.

Off to school (and work) we go...

Molly

K College

Good Tuesday to you all. Such a windy day. Ruins the 65 degree temps. But I now have our bedroom window open at night and love the cool night air.

Andrew got the big fat envelope from K-College yesterday; yes, he was accepted and got quite a nice "scholarship" but not in an amount big enough for us to afford. (K is over $40 grand year) However, he did say, "maybe i should go visit again." as his acceptance gave him more confidence. What a great admissions process they have. It took them awhile but they make you feel like they KNOW you, that is for sure.

The Goshen coach is coming to see Andrew again so his lack of hitting well must not have scared them off. I think he is coming Friday. First game is Thursday for both boys. Andrew is home against Buchanan and Josh is away. Not sure how we will do. I would imagine everyone is rusty!

Friday night is the Project Graduation Fish Fry for NHS. Crazy Mil and Crazy Fil are fryin' up some blue gills...down at the Eagles. $7 all you can eat. I sound sort of like a hick right now.

What else. Not much. Ta ta from the one ta ta woman.

Molly

DFP for ACC! Tears of joy for MEB!!!!

I am sooo happy to report that the Drug Free Players organization at Niles High School has just cut a check for $1000 to the Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma Research Foundation!!! I can't tell you how that makes me feel. They raised the money back in the fall during the high school's breast cancer awareness festivities and after trying for months to figure out who to donate to--that had a local flavor--they settled on the ACCRF. I spoke at length with Karissa Y., the adviser, about this organization and she decided that although it is not just research for breast cancer, it obviously has a local connection. The thing about ACC is that no major cancer organization (American Cancer Society or the National Cancer Institute) donates any money for research for this type of cancer. ACC is just too rare. So off she sent the check to the foundation, which I think is located in Virginia. You may remember me emailing their lead researcher when I was first diagnosed--and he emailed me back within a day. Also, Dr. Wolf at U of M said doctors are more and more intrigued with this type of cancer because of its unique characteristics. (slow growth, but very lethal if it comes back) This is the same group I sent my blog check too.

Thanks for clicking as always. I am making about $1 a day with your clicks. Amazing. But you know, there is money in advertising. Have you noticed that the ads change based on what I write? Must be computerized system that picks up key words. Who cares, it makes money and for that, I love you!

Andrew's scouting practice yesterday did not go as well as we hoped--at least in Jim's eyes. Jim said he bobbled two at short, and hit ok, but not as well as he could. So who knows. For me, it was disappointing, but sort of a relief. I am still scared of the "fit" for Andrew. Olivet just makes ME more comfortable. Andrew, however, felt ok about it, but wishes he had hit better.

Is anyone else having a ladybug problem? This happens just about every spring at our house. In the southeast corner, ladybugs SWARM inside. By swarm I mean gather on any sunny spot. In our upstairs bathroom, there has to be 50 (ok, maybe 20) of them living in one corner. Jim will vacuum them up, let them go outside, and sure enough, they are back, or at least their relatives are, by the next night. If it is not sunny, they don't come out. I guess they are in the wood of the house--yes, our house is over 120 years old, so that is a lot of lady bugs. Last night one was crawling on my arm while I was reading in bed. I kn0w they don't harm anything, but it creeps me out!

I still love the sunshine, ladybugs or not.

Again, save the date for Andrew's graduation Open House--May 24!

TTFN.

Molly

CLICK CLICK CLICK

Just real quick--since my last post, you all clicked enough to earn $13 on my website. How easy is that? In case you are wondering, I can't click on my own ads. I am just shocked how much we earned!

Gotta love it.

Molly

Where is the time going?

Yup, I got a new purse. You knew it was coming didn't you? Got me a new Vera Bradley. It's not long strapped so I may have to get used to that, but I love the new flowery pattern. Don't even know what it is called. I have not switched out of my winter purse yet. But I can't wait. I love 6 month "all clears". Just an excuse to go shopping.

Today the boys' new cleats arrived in the mail. You should see Josh's. They are sort of a royal blue and they look like something Shaquille O'Neal would wear. They are HUGE. I can't imagine that they will fit Josh's foot--he IS a size 14 but these suckers are monstorous! Andrew's are a respectable size 12.

Tomorrow the Goshen coach is coming to scout Andrew. Jim is more nervous than Andrew. This NAIA school stuff is all new to us. I thought only D I and D II schools could give money for athletics--how nice to see that isn't the case. We have pretty much eliminated North Park as their financial aide was much less than Olivet's. The football coach called Andrew and said that he wasn't going to give up just yet--and that Andrew should expect to hear from them again. So the next night the financial aide office called and wanted to go over what Olivet offered. Interesting. I should have said a "full ride". The lady didn't make any changes but said she would get back with us if anything did change. So, we are getting closer to Olivet being it...but now Jim is questioning whether Andrew should play football there. Jim is so fickle. He was all over that football stuff in the fall when they came calling! But now it is baseball season. I say Andrew tries BOTH and then decides. I hate to close any doors but realize he will miss fall baseball and that may hurt him for the Spring. We will have to wait and see. And who knows if Goshen will mix things up a bit. Andrew is now trying to grow side burns to fit in there. (HA--God don't strike me dead)

I am amazed that we are already to March 20. Where is this time going? There are days when I can't wait for my kids to be grown, but then I start to get sad. Today I observed a class that Andrew was in --Creative Writing--and he actually wrote something very funny. (they have to read aloud) I think he was hoping I would leave the class before it was his turn but I stayed just for that. His paper was titled "Someone Stole My Dr. Pepper." It was a hoot. He hardly acknowledged I was there. In comparison, if I ever observe Josh's class, he practically sits in my lap he is so happy to see me. I have raised Oil and Vinegar that is for sure.

Must go now. The furry daughter is yet again demanding me to let her in the house.

Molly

Clean and CLICK!!!!

Cleaning is the word of the day. And spending $200 at Walmart. I must have bought $40 worth of food an $160 worth of cleaning supplies. I bought myself a fancy dancy Swiffer sweeper thingy. I was tired of getting down on my knees to clean in small places. It worked like a charm.

I can't describe how the sunshine makes me feel.

Jim took the boys up to take ground balls. All is well with our world.

Spaghetti for dinner tonight. I should be making the sauce but have been internet surfing.

I sent my first check to the Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma Foundation. That money came from YOU all clicking on my ads in the upper right corner of this blog. How amazing is that? Free money is the way I look at it. I am so proud to send it to the ACCF. It won't cure cancer but it MIGHT.

So click away some more, people!

Happy day to you all!

Molly

A wonderful Saturday with no worries. First in awhile.

Wow, what a glorious day. Jim and I drove down to Goshen College to check it out. The baseball coach called Andrew last week and because it is an NAIA school, he can give athletic scholarships, along with merit scholarships. That would have to be the case as it costs $30 grand to go there. We knew NOTHING about the college but it looked good on the internet, offers Andrew's program, and is fairly close, so off we went. I was pleased with how it looks; it is VERY small but kids were out playing frisbee, running, etc. The baseball team was also playing so Jim went and introduced himself during warmups and the coach was (I am sure) surprised to see him. Goofball Andrew was NOT with us, just wants to visit it once. So, we have to set up a date for that. One majorly interesting thing about the college is it is Mennonite. Whatever that means! I told Jim that they don't allow cars on campus but do allow horse and buggies. I think I will probably be struck dead by God himself for that comment. (God has a sense of humor doesn't he????)

Ironically, about 6 months ago we saw a restaurant on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives and it was about 2 minutes from the college. It is called the South Side Diner so we went in just to check it out. I had a brownie sundae, and Jim had a clam roll. It was definitely a "diner" but we could tell the food was good. We saw the owner who was a big feature on Guy's show.

So, baseball has started and Jim is in his glory. So are the boys too. Scary this is Andrew's last season as a Viking. The boys had practice this morning at 7 a.m.

What else. I spoke with Valerie in California who is a ACC/breast survivor who had a recurrence a few months ago. She is doing fine and is coming up to her six month check up since the recurrence. She is having an MRI.

I'm thinking about calling Dr. Ansari's office to get copies of the PET/CT report. I like to have those to read. I don't think I saw the CT report--in the past, it has been the same report, but the report Dr. A showed me on his computer just referred to the glucose levels (sugar water) and said that there was no uptake. I also want reassurances about masses.

I am still somewhat skeptical that nothing showed in my neck area. My ear and throat areas are always in pain. I wonder if it is my wisdom teeth? Maybe I WILL have to have those suckers out.

My chest achiness is still there. It must just be muscles stretching or something.

But overall, I can't wait to buy my new purse! I may even get two.

Thanks for all of your "ears" and prayers!

Molly

All clear.

My scans were all clear. I have very little time to post but wanted to get it in writing! Dr. Ansari showed me the report and there was no evidence of uptake anywhere...wahoo. The report also used words like meticulus about the screening and scanning, especially in my neck area.

Mammo in a year...chest x-ray and blood work in 6 months.

Off to Lansing tonight to watch the Lady Vikes BEAT East Lansing!!!! (fingers crossed)

Enjoy your night--I know I will!

Molly

The waiting begins.

Believe it or not, I am not freaking about this PET/CT scan results yet. It was miserable though--at first, I was so proud of myself for not needing any drugs to get through it, but then I was starting to hold my breath and hyperventilate trying to lay still--so I was a bundle of nerves when it was over. Try laying on your back in a small tube with your arms over your shoulders for a 1/2 hour. It was torture towards the end. They first scanned my whole body--from my eyebrows to my mid thigh--but then he did a second scan of my neck and ear area. That was pre-planned from Dr. Wolf wanting the closer look at the area of the schwannoma (and of course that is where ACC normally grows). I will not be one bit surprised if they find something there based on the overall pain I have in that ear/neck. I am not saying its cancer, but it has to be something. Still worried about burning boob area but at least I will know.

Mammo on Monday. First mammo on bad breast side. I hope they don't pop my implant!

Niles is winning lots of basketball lately. Our girls were just crowned District Champs--and the boys beat a team that had previously killed them. It was Andrew's Senior Night so it was a great night. Monday he plays in the first district game--we have not won a district game in 4-5 years so it would be great if we could. If not, Andrew's basketball career is over and baseball begins.

Josh went on a Youth Retreat last night and sprained his wrist. We had it xrayed and the ER doctor said that he has "6 to 8 inches of growth left". Does that make any sense??????????????? That was looking at his wrist. He will have monkey arms if the rest doesn't grow with him. I don't know much about growth plates but that is what the DR said.

Had to drug Shade for the storms this morning. She got me up hours before I wanted to.

I will keep you posted. Prayers for a clean report would be greatly appreciated.

Molly

My college boy

Yes, I must admit I had major anxiety dropping Andrew off at North Park yesterday. He took his little overnight bag (ok, a Nike bag) into the Rec center and I was distraught. Being the control freak that I am, I wanted him to call me at every stage of the game, but we didn't hear from him until noon this morning.

So, as of now, Olivet is still his first choice. He had a great time but isn't ready to give up baseball yet and he feels he would have to do that to go to North Park because football is very serious business there. He really liked all the players--although he said one was sort of rude to him--the kid is the current backup quarterback to Shelby Wood (a Berrien Springs grad). Andrew said "I honestly think he was intimidated by me!" Anyway, he still really likes the coaches and thinks that he would definitely be able to play in a year...he couldn't work out with the team last night...it's against NCAA rules...but he did get to throw a football around with some other recruits and he got to watch the team in action. Ironically, other than the linemen, he was one of the taller ones there.

What else. The Olivet visit went very well too. We spent a ton of time with the baseball coach who told Andrew that he really wanted him as he has room for infielders right now. One of the football coaches stopped by too so that was nice. We also met with the admissions people and we now know where we stand financially. Andrew will get some merit aid, which is wonderful, but it only covers about 25 percent of what he needs, so that means he will have to take a loan out, AND we will have to pay quite a bit as well. (which means we will have to take loans out too.) But, it does seem like we are getting closer to a decision. Andrew wants to wait to see what North Park offers him, and today he got some more scholarship offers from Central, so if they offer enough to get him even lower than going to Olivet, you never know, he could end up there. But I doubt it. He really wants to play sports.

Jim and I found a great deal on a hotel in Skokie--it was a Hampton Inn--and for just over $100 we got a HUGE room with a full kitchen, separate bedroom, two flat screen TV's--a free in room movie, and a $25 gift card to Ruby Tuesdays, which was the hotel's restaurant, plus a hot breakfast! I felt like I was the shopper of the century. We even said that we were going to MAKE Andrew go to North Park because we liked the hotel so much and would stay there for game days. The Illinois State High School Diving Championships were near by so we had a bunch of bald header divers all over the place but it really was quiet anyway. Josh stayed home with a friend.

PET/CT scan this Friday, mammo on Monday, and Dr. Ansari on Thursday. I am trying NOT to think about it AT ALL.

Molly

Ah, the weekend.

Burning boob is back, just in case you are wondering. Two weeks to Dr. Ansari. Scares me.

Grumpy Andrew is not 100 percent yet, but is at least vertical. Today we have to take up some old lockers we have in our garage to the high school. They will be props in the upcoming high school production of GREASE. Andrew is thinking that if he were IN the musical he could understand why he had to help but since he isn't, he shouldn't have to help load them up. What logic. Of course he is helping, but not until I told him my implant might burst if I lift anything too heavy.

Josh, again, is at Riley's.

Tonight is the Winter Bash, a dance to raise money for Project Graduation. Can't wait to get my groove on. (ok, you know I am kidding) I am going to stand at the bar and drink Bloody Mary's all night long. (ok, you know I am kidding again.)

Tuesday is another visit to Olivet. We are meeting with the baseball coach. We have not heard from the football coach lately which is somewhat of a concern. K-College is really the only one that is actively pursuing him for both baseball and football. Olivet says they are, as does North Park, but we haven't heard from the North Park baseball coach in awhile nor the Olivet football coach. Supposedly, we are to receive our financial aide packages from both NP and Olivet in early March.

We have this new channel on our Direct TV called MLB, for Major League Baseball. I am now beating my head up against the wall watching games from 1977. Jim is in his glory.

'Bout it for this blustery Saturday. I think we are going to go look at new cell phones for the boys--why, I couldn't tell you--except to get them to quit complaining how cheap their phones are and that they don't work.

Can you say SPOILED????

Molly

Strep. : (

Just a quick blog...

Andrew is home with strep. Hopefully, he will feel well enough to go back to school tomorrow. Doc says he will be ok then (kept him home for two days). It has been so long since my kids have been on antibiotics...he just has three pills, albeit BIG pills, to take. What happened to the days of spoonfuls of pink bubble gum flavored liquid? Waiting for the rest of us to come down with it but knocking on wood it won't happen.

On the good news side, got both boy's ACT scores back and Andrew went up again and Josh is just one point below him--don't think Josh didn't mention that! Also, Josh's reading scores could get him into Michigan so he is super excited he is in that range at this point! I am very proud of Andrew for taking advantage of the test. Although he has gotten in everywhere so far (still no word from K), the higher ACT will help with scholarships.

The North Park coach called again...told Andrew that he doubted he would play his freshman year, but saw him playing his sophomore year. Not sure how we feel about that. I don't think a coach should promise ANYTHING based on a DVD and some stats.

That's about it.

Molly

Sunday Sunday Sunday!!!!

Avoiding...well...everything right now. Ginger has been coming all week--cleaning my house, doing my laundry, you name it. Yes, you read that right. She goes to all of our homes (of her sons) and helps out. CAN YOU SAY MOTHER IN LAW OF THE CENTURY???? Anyway, she cleaned my laundry room so I have to keep up with the laundry or her efforts are wasted. And John, my FIL, matched all our socks!!!! Andrew's college crap is all over our house. A friend of mine has a nice little binder of her son's letters--and then there's me, whose binder is any flat surface available.



Andrew is sick--coughing, headache, sore throat. I sure hope this will pass. Josh is tired from spending the night at a friend's house but is at least upright. Andrew continues to sleep while we watch old movies on TV.

Did a little research into student loans today and am feeling somewhat better that Andrew will at least have THAT option. I hate to saddle him with loans but that is how I got through school. He also did one scholarship app today (well, sort of. He at least knows what he has to write)

Still looking for a good hotel rate for Chicago. We want to go back to the Hyatt Regency again but the rates had gone up $100 a night. Now they are only up $80--leading me to believe that they will continue to go down the closer we get to the arrival date. If we were going next Friday the rate is only $99 which is amazing for this hotel. I am getting smarter in my old age. I am looking forward to going again, but will be sad Andrew will be staying at the college. But we will have Joshie to entertain us. My boss told me of a good restaurant to check out--last time we checked out Manny's and had fun. I can't for the life of me remember the name of what Doug suggested. I keep thinking the Great Discovery??? I know that isn't it. Google, here we come.

Did any of you happen to see Lonnie on TV the other night? She accepted an award on Muhammad's behalf and gave a great speech about volunterism. I did not see it but co-workers told me there was not a dry eye in the house as everyone watched Mr. A. Jennifer Hudson sand him a song. And Lonnie is so right, we all need to volunteer more. I am going to try to You-Tube it and see if I can see it. We were at the basketball game as usual.

Speaking of volunteers, tomorrow night is the Annual Project Graduation Basketball game when teachers play teachers to raise money. It's hilarious. Then Saturday is the dance I wrote about earlier--I hope many of you go. I plan to drink a Bloody Mary. I drink about once a year--so this is quite rebellious for me! Then, in March, the 27th I think, we are having a Brawley Family Fish Fry to help raise money for the same cause. Lots to do.

Ok, time to get clean sheets on our bed. Such a good feeling.

Hugs--

Jane (I love the name Jane so will be Jane today)

The Mail Bag

The mail this week has been interesting First, the negative.



Michiana Hematology and Oncology. A reminder slip of my upcoming PET/CT to see if I have cancer growing in my body. WHAT? I thought it was the end of March! Nope, March 6. I really should be happy about that--the sooner the better with all my worries--but it still freaks the bejeezies out of me. I try to tell myselg that it will bring peace but worry worry worry. And yes, this was regularly scheduled--I just thought it was much later in the month.



Now the positive.



Michigan State University. Took their sweet little time about it, but Andrew got the CONGRATULATIONS letter we've been waiting for. The last line said "If you are not going to attend MSU, please let us know so we can give your spot to someone." Yeh, we will get right on that. Just kidding. Andrew was pleased as he is 100 percent acceptance rate now. However, we haven't heard from Brainiac K, so that rate may decline.



The K-football coach did send Andrew's tapes back and in a very positive recruiting move wrote Andrew the greatest letter about the tapes, making it obvious to Andrew that he watched the film. Ended the letter with lots of "you will make an outstanding K-College quarterback!" Ah, those recruiters.



Trine University sent Andrew a letter congratulating and awarding him with a $10,000 renewable scholarship. He hasn't even applied there.



North Park also sent a letter awarding Andrew some money for his grades, but it isn't enough to sneeze at. It was a form letter and said that it does not mean that is all the aide he will get. Sure as heck hope not!



What else. Happy Valentines to you all. Jim, Josh and I went to see Gran Torino. We liked it very much. Jim loves Clint so I knew he would love it. I liked it too, as did Josh. Gotta love that Niles' theatre! Only $15.50 for all of us, with drinks and popcorn too. Andrew and Kait are hanging out watching TV. Nothing too exciting for any of us on this romantic day.



Feeling a bit asthmatic today--which causes worryworryworryworry. My herniated disc is flaring up again too so Iwalk all hunched over. And I sound like I am 84 years old.



Love to you all--



MO Double L Y.

Implants and Tribal Wars

According to the Michigan State Website, a decision has been made on Andrew Brawley's acceptance. It was mailed yesterday. Do you know how upset I will be if he doesn't get in? His ACT, class rank, high school curriculum and overall gpa, are higher than those that have already been admitted. The funny thing is, he is NOT going to go there but I am being grumpy about it. I will keep you posted if any of you care about the MSU saga. : )

Tomorrow is implant check up with Dr. Messinger. I think it will be my last appointment for at least a year. I pray that is the case. I keep having these fears that they will have to take the implant out after my scans in March because I have chest cancer.

I have not written much about my chest/boob pains lately because, yes, it subsided for about a week. But now it is back again. Not as severe but it is that burning feeling. So now my mind thinks that when it hurts, the cancer is growing. Amazing how the mind works. Most ACC is NOT painful unless it gets in your nerves. The exception of course is some breast ACC tumors that are painful for no reason. And remember, my tumor was really painful. I pray that there was not nerve invasion--no one ever told me--nerve invasion means it travels much more easily. ACC lesson of the day--most cancers spread through the lymph systems. ACC and ACC breast rarely do, but do travel along nerve paths. Just in case you were up late wondering.

So as you see, cancer still weighs on my mind.

Ava Christine's great grandmother Leona Weaver, who has been like a mother to Jamie and Heather is very very ill. They expect her to pass any moment. Say a prayer for peace for them and that Leona gets to hold our precious Ava when she gets to heaven.

Andrew is still being recruited heavily by North Park and -K-College. North Park especially, which make Andrew like them even more. The quarterback coach called last night and they talked for quite awhile; when Andrew goes for his overnight, the team will be having Tribal Warfares, which are Survivor like events for the team--it's a competition. We aren't sure if Andrew can legally participate but he hopes so. The coach also asked Andrew if he had made up his mind yet and Andrew said no. The coach then asked what will determine it, and Andrew said "money." Glad he said that! : ) Andrew also has his visit with the Olivet baseball coach.

I was whining about our "expected family contribution" to Andrew's education the other night and still am in shock by it. Andrew is already working on scholarships applications. I hate this!

What else? Jim is making my favorite home made potato chips.

Joshie B is sleeping on the big red comfy couch--par for the course.

Off I go. GLad to be home for the night. Loy Norrix for a game tomorrow night and then Friday the girls play Benton Harbor.

HEY!! Also, don't forget to buy your tickets for the Project Graduation dance (adults only) We are all going to try to go. I may have to go in my pajamas as I turn into Pajama Queen on weekends but I do want to go!

ADIOS-

Molly

Expanders HURT

Hello. My poor Cyndi is experiencing post-mastectomy pain from that damned expander. Remember me wanting to rip the thing out? There were nights it didn't seem worth it, but now, when I look at that scarred football shaped beauty I say "WOW, thanks cancer for giving me this thing. " Yes, I am being sarcastic, because no matter how we try to sugar coat it, this fake boob still represents cancer. And cancer sucks.

On a more positive note, we won our homecoming game Friday night and I must say it was one of the most amazing games I have ever watched. The team we played was 10-2, and we were 2-11, so no one expected us to win. But we led the whole way and basically played out of our minds. Andrew played well--he's really rebounding well--still can't make a basket to save his soul--but that really isn't his job--and never has been. Regardless, our student sections was fabulous--without them, we never would have won the game. As you can see in this picture, the kids were pretty excited and ran onto the court. I was just a proud mom in the stands. : ) We now have to get the kids to come out for the girl's game Friday night vs. Benton Harbor.

The Kalamazoo College baseball coach called for Andrew this weekend. Still no word from them on an acceptance, but we did learn that he got into North Park. Still no word from the Spartans in East Lansing. Figures. Andrew took the ACT for the third time this weekend to try to up his score as we are finding the higher the ACT, the more $$$ he gets from both North Park and Olivet. I did our FAFSA this weekend and became very depressed as to how much they expect the family to contribute. It's basically 2/3 of Jim's salary. We do not have that kind of money. How in the heck do people pay for college? What really worries me is that Andrew may not even qualify for his own loans--WE (mom and dad) may have to take out the Parent Plus loans. Wow.
Of course we feel guilty for not having saved enough. Those many years of baseball travel leagues were fun, but perhaps they should have been going into college funds.

Josh took the ACT this weekend and actually liked doing it. He is very anxious for his scores. I wouldn't be surprised if he beat Andrew in some areas--like the English and reading sections. Andrew thought the math was harder this time.

Went to book a hotel room for Chicago for Andrew's overnight and the room rate went up $100 from the last time we went. Crazy. I am hoping to get a better rate later in the month, closer to the date.

For the first time since 8th grade, we are letting Andrew go on Spring Break. He will be going with his buddies and Lonnie--and won't be going until AFTER his spring break baseball game. Jim is being a poop about it--thinks he needs to stay home and live in the batting cage--but Andrew was adament about wanting to go, and afterall, it will only be 4 days when all is said and done.

Andrew needs the computer for some reason so off I go. Chicken Enchiladas for dinner.

Molly

A night in.

I forgot that yesterday was my two year anniversary of finding my painful lump. Must've been caught up in that Super Bowl game. We always watch the first half at Jim's parents--when we came home, I went upstairs to read and ended up getting sucked back into the game. I had no desired outcome, but as the clock ticked off I was getting nervous for both teams. It was a really good game.

Anyway. Andrew plans to do two more visits to Olivet and North Park. Both will be the last week of February and while Olivet will be to meet with the baseball coach for the day, North Park will be an overnight visit. (yippee! Another Chicago trip for me!) The NP coached seemed a bit worried about Andrew playing both baseball and football there--it was a rather vague email so that is something Andrew will have to figure out. Jim's philosophy is that if he can get the same amount of money for baseball, why play both? But I think Andrew really wants to try football. I just am not sure if he will want to put in the time to possibly not play for two years, if ever. Again, another issue for Andrew to resolve.

We still can't get our FAFSA filled out because Jim lost his coaching W-2's so we have to wait for them to be faxed to me at work. Silly Nimmee--he threw them out we think. Although we know we won't qualify for much if any aid, these private schools have to have the FAFSA to figure out how much they need to give you. Jim and I have always said that if Andrew has to take loans out, he will have to do that. I had loans and although Jim's parents paid for his education, we both feel we will help as much as we can but loans are a good possibility.

I still don't know what to think about this pain in my chest muscle. I know I am beating a dead horse right now by still talking about it since I have made no move to resolve it, but it is so intermittent and unpredictable! And I really think it has been so long it just is part of my day. I will say the god awful heartburn is gone for the most part.

Homecoming week this week. Both boys are up at school playing Powderpuff Volleyball. Andrew asked me three times to go (which is amazing in itself) but tonight is the only night I will be home this week so I decided to stay in. Tomorrow night we travel to Portage Northern and then Wednesday Jim and I both have to work the concession stand for the wrestling match.

I am totally going on about nothing so instead, I think I will go do some more laundry. Thank goodness for caller ID--the Marines are calling!

Love to all--

Molly

Status quo

hi.

I have a few minutes before Andrew's game against Penn High School. We have to transport kids because we have cut some Saturday sports bus runs in Niles to save money. Josh has gone skiing so it is just Jim and me--well, Andrew too, or course.

Andrew was not too thrilled with Albion. The visit itself was very nice and I loved the school and even the players who gave us a tour, but Andrew did not feel "wanted" like he did from the other three schools. Today he and I went to Olive Garden (we left a VERY grumpy Jim at home who was on a psycho-mom cleaning frenzy--he was freaking out because he found a plate under the couch) Ok, I regress. Anyway, Andrew kept asking me where I wanted him to go so we chatted about the pros and cons about both North Park and Olivet and I think, for now, he is settled on Olivet. So K-College and Albion are out for sure. Olivet is winning the race as they say. But I still want that overnight to North Park just in case. (I really just want an excuse to go to Chicago again

I did not call the doctor obviously. I really had a somewhat pain free week but today I can feel that burning feeling again. Last night I stayed home and fell asleep with a slight fever. That scared me. I do see Dr. Messenger on February 12 so I will make him make me call the doctor if things are still bad.

Andrew was chosen for the area's Sports Fest sponsored by the South Bend Tribune. He will be playing on the Michigan Football All-Star Team. He is pleased with that. He hopes to get picked for baseball too.

We are experiencing major data issues at school with our new student information system. For the most part, everything is accurate on the latest rounds of report cards for first semester, but it has to be 100 percent accurate as we base class rank and gpa's on these reports. I think I spent almost 100 percent of my work time crunching numbers last week. And the little percent that I wasn't doing that was spent counseling squabbling girls. Monday we should be all set to print report cards finally.

Next week is Winter Homecoming. Monday is Pajama Day, Tuesday is Bad Tie Day, Wednesday is Fake Tattoo Day, Thursday is Class Villain Day, and Friday is Spirit Day. This year's theme is Villains--the seniors are doing The Wicked Witch, which is very appropriate since they all went to Wicked. (The vocal music department has also chosen a song from that musical that the seniors will sing at graduation)

I made a bet with the seniors that if I didn't have to suspend any of them over the course of this senior year, I would give them all a pizza party. Guess what? I haven't suspended any of them yet! They are a really great class.

Ok, gotta run! Game time.

Molly

Just a peek at Winter Formal

Andrew and Kait before Winter Formal. They are looking so old. I think Andrew's sweater in too big. Kait is darling, as always. As usual, I have no pictures of Josh but trust me when I say we was adorable and ooooooooooh so grown up. : (

Pathfinders Computer Repair--Niles

For those of you who live in Niles and ever have any computer problems, we have discovered a good place here that sure seems to know what they are doing. It is called Pathfinders and it's right on 11th street (out by Wendy's) and they have solved one very horrible problem for us (VIRUS!!!!) for $90 and then a simple problem that they didn't charge us. We are pretty good at using computers but not fixing them so we were very pleased to find them. I have no affiliations with them at all but when I find something I like, I think it is good to share the news!

Molly

Formal.

Good morning. I really should be cleaning this house. It looks like a tornado has blown through. Our ping pong table has become a catch all of course and laundry, baseball equipment, chem binders, socks, dog, food, you name it is on it. ARGGH.

Yesterday I decided to call Dr. Ansari on Tuesday. I was in terrible pain and when I got home from the mall with Andrew it felt like I was barely able to breathe. Today, the underlying pain is still there so the phone call is still on, but I do feel a little better. There is a part of me that is hoping (because it is less serious) that my implant is causing all this and that I also have a cold at the same time. I am tired of thinking about it right now so we will change subjects.

The trip to the mall for tonight's Winter Formal was quite enjoyable with my oldest son. We never argued once, which is unusual. Olive Garden, our tradition, was packed, so we headed over to Famous Dave's and had some savory ribs and funny conversations. Then we went to the mall and looked everywhere BUT JC Penney's for dress shirts and ties and couldn't find what he/I wanted. So we ended up at JC Penney and spent $190 for both boys. OUCH. (I rationalized that by thinking of the girls who probably spent that on a dress.) Andrew ended up with his normal light blue sweater, cream dress shirt and a really cool tie, and I got Joshie a cream/light blue argyle sweater with a striped shirt so no need for a tie for him. They are both color coordinated and no one argued about it!!!! Andrew is going with Kait of course, but Josh is hanging with a group of people. Andrew's group is going to Villa Macri's for dinner, while Josh's gang is taking it more casual and is going to Texas Road House. Winter Formal is way less fancy than prom, thank goodness. My next goal is to talk Jim into going for a little while to check everyone out. Some of my ninth grade girls who I have grown very fond of have asked me to come and take pictures so I think I need to go. I do love seeing them all.

Might sneak out to the girls game soon. They are playing very early today so they have time to get ready for formal.

Extra prayers for me if you don't mind. Love to you all.

Molly

WHOOSH. That was my week.

Wow, I am tired. I have sat in meetings almost all week and got very little energy from my students this week...listened to adults speak on a variety of things and while it was very, very good, I always miss the interaction with students as they are the reason for what I do.

Ignoring pains still.

This week has gone very quickly and tomorrow is Friday. The students started second semester. Andrew is taking an online class called The Mathematics of Baseball. How's that for an accelerated senior year? He really is interested in it so what the heck. He also has creative writing so I am glad as that should be a bit easier than his College Writing class. He did finally get his WalMart paper done, but we had so many technology problems with it that he finally claimed that the ghost of Sam Walton was cursing him. He should get an A in the class but who knows how he did on this last paper. But at least he knows how to cite sources and format a research paper.

We (Andrew and I) head to Albion on Monday--but we aren't all that enthused which is probably a good thing, since we can't be disappointed then. Andrew got a wonderful had written letter from the K-College coach--talking about how much they can't wait to see him in the orange and black uniform, etc. Andrew has basically eliminated them however, and is scared to talk to the coach because they have become buddies through the recruitment process. But he isn't talling anybody ANYTHING until he has to. Tonight he is up hitting for baseball and I can tell in his head he has moved on to that now. North Park has called nightly to see where he stands in the application process...we think he has everything in now. I was reading about D III recruitment and some sources were saying that it is an "exhaustive" process and that ain't no joke. Would be much easier to just say Hey, I am going to CMU! Another coach was telling Jim tonight that some D I and D II schools lose players to D III schools because they can offer so much more if the player is right. I sure hope that happens! : ) Andrew managed to pull out AP Psych with an "average" grade--otherwise he had a pretty decent report card--all A's and a B+ except for the "average" grade in AP. (I am not saying a C because I am praying that is what it is...he isn't sure!!!..EEEK!)
Anyway, Josh did well too. His Algebra II grade is his only B.

What else. I think Karen has surgery tomorrow. Lots of positive energy to you my dear! Cyndi, let me know your next steps. You are handling this all so well and before you know it you will have a nice rock boob like I did. (don't worry, squishy boob comes soon enough)

I am chilly willy right now so time to take a shower and go to bed. I haven't read in weeks--other than college catalogs!

Much love to all--I still need each and everyone of you. You are my very cheap therapy but worth a priceless amount!

Moi

Damn

Cyndi did not get clean margins. She now has to decide the whole reconstruction thing and what is next but the breast has to come off. Remember my days of getting the news of no clean margins? It just STINKS. I am praying for her right now...I just want to her to get the sense of peace that will come when she has a plan. When we were busy making appointments was the easy time for me...I was soooo busy and couldn't even think about dying. It was just like having my toe operated on or something. I just detached myself from it for that whole period. And it worked for me. That, and a little bit of Xanax.

Quickly, Andrew liked Olivet and felt they really liked him. Right now, before any scholarship offers come in, he is still leaning towards North Park but said that the money would have to be worth it. To complicate things, the North Park baseball coach called today and really wants to meet him and to have him visit. He was quite upset that he was not contacted that Andrew was there. And then, the Albion College football coach called tonight and wants him to come to visit next Monday. When it rains it pours. Andrew is getting a bit confused I think so it will be nice to just get back to school for a few days.

Feeling very proud to be an American today. No matter how you voted, I think we all felt a sense of pride as we watched history being made. And wasn't Michelle's suit gorgeous? : )

Cyndi, I am thinking of you. And Karen, you too. You both need to keep me posted! Prayers to all my sisters and angels as we support eachother.

Molly